The Taxi to Hell

Last updated on: September 20, 2010 at 8:59 pm by K. Mulhern

The Taxi to Hell 2010-09-20T20:59:27-06:00 K. Mulhern

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I caught an episode of “The Apprentice” this weekend. Sixteen hopefuls lined up respectfully and submissively before Donald Trump and his lieutenants, who happen to be Ivanka and Donald, Jr., his children. This season, apparently the would-be apprentices are all victims of the economic downturn – they’ve already all been fired or let go or otherwise vocationally dumped. They’ve gone from highly successful professionals to unemployed, desperate, and very hungry wannabes. Mr. Trump is the golden ticket to Wonkaland.

As in each episode, the contestants are given a project, and the two competing groups select a project manager to bring the assignment to completion and success. The next 30 minutes or so are full of chaos, questions, backstabbing side conversations with the camera, whispered mutiny, ineptitude (real and alleged), sweat, anxiety, and finally a few moments of impossible panic just before Trumps sweep in for an inspection.

Then there’s the boardroom. Dark, foreboding judgment. The Trumps on one side. The miscreants on the other. And those questions… Questions designed to divide, insult, enrage, accuse. And it sure worked. Particularly with the women. There are words for that kind of female repartee, and they’re not nice words. Oh, no. The caricature goes live.

The contestants exit the room. The Trump Trinity confer. They see all; they know all; they judge all. The contestants return.

And then, boom, “You’re fired.” And a disdainful sweep of his hands. “Go on, leave, get out of here.”

The discarded one walks alone, takes the elevator alone, leaves the building alone, gets in the reject taxi, and drives away into the night.

And then I had a dream, of sorts. A nightmare, really – a recognition that that whole episode says a lot about my fears of the Judgment Day. What if it goes like an “Apprentice” episode?

I’m a wannabe for Wonkaland, for sure, and I’m pretty desperately trying to pull together the Assignment and avoid being Fired (literally). As Project Manager of my life, I often feel over my skis, as they say. I can’t seem to figure it out, don’t know what I’m aiming at or how to get there. I’m wondering what my office colleagues, neighbors, family members, and friends are saying offline about my ineptitude. The Boardroom terrifies me. There across the Table sit the Trinity, asking all the hard questions. And then? You’re Fired. And I take the Taxi to Hell.

Whew. Truly a nightmare. Can I hope it won’t be like that? Even if I am a Project Manager disaster?

The opposite of “You’re fired” would be “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Mt. 25.14-30). And the ones in that parable who got the commendation were the ones who took the master’s money, invested it, and got a tidy return. The only one who ended up thrown “into the darkness” was the one who did nothing but keep it safe. But what if there were another sort of character in the story – one, say, who took the master’s money, invested it, and lost it all? Bad investments, short-sightedness, twisted thinking, overconfidence, whatever. What might have happened to such a one?

Perhaps I’m looking at it all wrong. Perhaps it wasn’t the servants’ success that won them the commendation, but the faithfulness of their actions. They did what he asked, even with the risk of failure. And the condemned one? It wasn’t the lack of return on investment, but his craven fear of the master, a fear that characterized him as a hard, harsh, and ultimately merciless master. That fear drove his actions, and ultimately flagged him the Taxi to Hell.

Fear of disappointing the master you love is different from fear of wrath and punishment at the hands of an angry taskmaster. The former is Fear of the Lord; the latter is Fear of Retribution.

Ah, well, “The Apprentice” is only a show. Donald Trump is only a guy with a very bad haircut. The contestants are only media bunnies … for a while.

Me? I think I’ll find a different show to dream about.

Uncategorized

Previous Post

September 3, 2010

Doubt ~ “Could Be Wrong … but I Don’t Think So.” (Third time’s the charm.)

Next Post

October 6, 2010 The Government Is Not Going to Do Kingdom Work

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Advent Ascetical Theology Book Reviews Children and Parenting Easter Epiphany Friends of God Lent Life in the Spirit Ludolph Pascalian Spirituality: a series Politics Prayers Six Neo-Christian Myths Spiritual Formation Tales from My Father Trinitarian Spirituality: a series Uncategorized

Select a Month October 2026 July 2024 June 2024 December 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 January 2023 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 April 2022 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 October 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 November 2016 June 2016 April 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 March 2015 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 October 2011 August 2011 July 2011 February 2011 October 2010 September 2010 July 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 November 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What Christian group follows the Augsburg Confession?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Lutherans Presbyterians Pentecostals Methodists