Handling your loneliness and ignoring the “Tiger”

Last updated on: April 18, 2013 at 11:24 pm by Desh Kapoor

Handling your loneliness and ignoring the “Tiger” 2013-04-18T23:24:42-05:00 Desh Kapoor

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We are all alone. And we cannot handle that. When I see the world around me, I find the toughest issue with people is not material well being, but handling themselves. Those who haven’t been successful and are pursuing success somehow have a divergence. They know that they have to get somewhere, and moreover in the beginning of the careers, you have lots of people around you. You have energy and want to get somewhere. A higher ideal awaits.

Forgetting yourself is easy. But its not a good training for the time when substantial or even reasonable success touches you. For, when you are comfortable, you are miserable.

In a world of social networks and shouting Pinterests – generalized and fake identities are sought, established and promoted. Quotes that seem nice, but say nothing of self are shared and retweeted. We know they don’t help. Quotes have never helped. Not even to those who have uttered them. For words don’t bring transformation. They just create a diversion. They deceive. What is not being said, is safely and effectively hidden. And that is what really matters.

In this world of many layers of facades, words, expressions – somewhere we have become totally unaware, unrelated and worst – shit scared of ourselves. We want to “be” with someone. Someone. Doesn’t matter who. We don’t want to sit down 10 minutes alone, without getting bored, angry, depressed, negative. Loneliness is a negative state. Being alone has thus become a nightmare.

When you have become your greatest nightmare, how can happiness and well-being ever hit you. That is why we are sad, unhappy and looking for panacea. Convenient hook-ups and inconvenient relationships tear us apart. We cover it all up by entertainment. And we want entertainment in everything – even things that are profound. Recently, a friend complained about a program of Sadhguru Jaggi that he had attended saying “He didn’t share any new material“. As if Spiritual Transformation program was a Stand up comic act. I kept thinking, actually from where I see, Sadhguru should keep repeating just one line for ever and ever. Because I have not realized even ONE word of what he has said. What will I do with “new material”?!

Self is not entertainment. Though, we may try to snuff out the cry of self in entertainment. But Self cannot be silenced. We may not understand its language and beyond entertainment – when music sounds stale, jokes look colorless – we may go to alter ourselves chemically by popping pills… but Self speaks and wants expression. It is there and kicking and cannot be silenced. Its like sitting on a tiger and hoping we can subdue it by noise and covering it by cloth. But it bites… and how!

Sometimes, when nothing helps, there comes a time when we should acknowledge the tiger – our Self. It wants to meet you. You need to meet it. Let’s cut the crap and make time. Silence when alone will make loneliness a gateway to ultimate bliss. You just need to learn to hug yourself. Try.

Featured Image courtesy: Flickr/Delphine

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