Moustaches and their men: key to good things in life

Last updated on: June 9, 2010 at 10:02 pm by Desh Kapoor

Moustaches and their men: key to good things in life 2010-06-09T22:02:46-05:00 Desh Kapoor

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Moustache is an interesting appendage for men. It has dogged them forever. Some women have it too, but would rather do without it.

For men, of course, in certain areas and for certain types, a mooch is almost a symbol of pride. In South Indian movies, for example, until the current crop of heroes came in, it was IMPOSSIBLE to become a hero or even an actor (male) without having a mooch. It was almost as if you cease to remain manly if you didn’t have a mooch.

Now, of course, comes the news that men with moustache earn MORE than those without the upper lip hair growth intact. Mooch’ed guys make 8.2 percent more than men sporting beards and 4.3 percent more than clean-shaven men. That’s a strong verdict in favor of keeping hair on face.. but not too much! Just enough to get that extra raise. In these times of economic downturns every little penny counts. And if that also means a little less shaving.. hey, who is complaining. I am not sure though, which style of mooch earned the most money?

If you haven’t had a mooch and want to know if you are up for it… try from the following styles which have been in currency.

At the World Beard and Moustache Championships 2007 there were 6 sub-categories for moustaches:

Natural – Moustache may be styled without aids.

Hungarian – Big and bushy, beginning from the middle of the upper lip and pulled to the side. The hairs are allowed to start growing from up to a maximum of 1.5 cm beyond the end of the upper lip.

Dalí – narrow, long points bent or curved steeply upward; areas past the corner of the mouth must be shaved. Artificial styling aids needed. Named after Salvador Dalí.

English – narrow, beginning at the middle of the upper lip the whiskers are very long and pulled to the side, slightly curled; the ends are pointed slightly upward; areas past the corner of the mouth usually shaved. Artificial styling may be needed.

Imperial – whiskers growing from both the upper lip and cheeks, curled upward (distinct from the royale, or impériale)

Freestyle – All moustaches that do not match other classes. The hairs are allowed to start growing from up to a maximum of 1.5 cm beyond the end of the upper lip. Aids are allowed.

Other types of moustache include:

Fu Manchu – long, downward pointing ends, generally beyond the chin;

‘Pancho Villa’ moustache – similar to the Fu Manchu but thicker; also known as a “droopy moustache”, generally much more so than that normally worn by the historical Pancho Villa.

Handlebar – bushy, with small upward pointing ends. See baseball pitcher Rollie Fingers. Also known as a “spaghetti moustache”, because of its stereotypical association with Italian men.

Horseshoe – Often confused with the Fu Manchu style, the horseshoe was possibly popularized by modern cowboys and consists of a full moustache with vertical extensions from the corners of the lips down to the jawline and resembling an upside-down horseshoe. Also known as biker moustache.

Pencil moustache – narrow, straight and thin as if drawn on by a pencil, closely clipped, outlining the upper lip, with a wide shaven gap between the nose and moustache, widely recognized as being the moustache of choice for the fictional character Gomez Addams of The Addams Family. Also known as a Mouthbrow, worn by John Waters and Chris Cornell.

Chevron – thick and wide, usually covering the top of the upper lip. Comedian Jeff Foxworthy and NASCAR driver Richard Petty wear Chevrons.

Toothbrush – thick, but shaved except for about an inch (2.5 cm) in the center; associated with Adolf Hitler, Charlie Chaplin, Oliver Hardy, and Robert Mugabe. Also known as a sole stash, Chaplin or a Hitler stash.

Walrus – bushy, hanging down over the lips, often entirely covering the mouth. Worn by John Bolton, Dick Strawbridge, Wilford Brimley and Jamie Hyneman

The GG – bushy hair grown only over the corners of the mouth, shaved in the middle. Named after musician and performing artist GG Allin, the most well-known wearer of the style. It is a shortened version of the one worn by Genghis Khan.

Mooch has been a symbol that distinguishes a person in history. Whether it has been Hitler or Charlie Chaplin or Raj Kapoor, a mooch often becomes a brand of the wealthy and rich. And, if it happens to earn something more for you, hey who is complaining?

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