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“A la Carte” Science of Existence-less Creation!

“A la Carte” Science of Existence-less Creation!

Last updated on: May 21, 2010 at 6:31 am by Desh Kapoor

“A la Carte” Science of Existence-less Creation! 2010-05-21T06:31:48-05:00 Desh Kapoor

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Modern science works on current knowledge. Knowledge that is prevalent at any point in time. We pick and choose the tools that the current knowledge provides and fit them in the already existing ones and come up with a model.

Theories of Existence and subsequent enunciation of what the scientific truth is has also met with the same fate.

Scientists observed matter and anti-matter which was formed at any fission and kept wondering how come that we even existed? Our “anti-matter” should have annihilated our matter self. So, for every George Bush there should have been an “Anti-George Bush” which could have taken care of him! You didn’t need long-faced-short-stature John Kerry to fight him!

Now, it seems we find out that in various collider experiments (like that at the Large Haldron Collider in Switzerland) – from data gathered over the last more than one year – that after all, during the collisions (and the situations created similar to the “beginning” of the Universe) – a little more matter (a humongous 1% lead!) is created than the anti-matter.

This 1% headway, we are to believe, is enough to throw the anti-matter completely OUT OF EXISTENCE. For, have you ever met the “anti-you”?? Heck, if I am just 1% more than my anti-matter, how come I never get to meet him?

Well, honestly speaking both matter and anti-matter are nothing but gross forms of creational energy itself – particles (when manifested) keep oscillating between their “regular” or matter state (who said scientists aren’t bigots prone to value judgments?!) and the anti-matter state (but of course, irregular!!) – a trillion times a second. Somehow the particles are in more hurry to get to their “matter” state from the “anti-matter” state than the other way around. Sounds like a plan to me!

So, matter wins. Didn’t we already know that? I mean if we are there, it is because “we” won and the “anti-we’ lost the battle! Or as Valmiki would famously declare in Ramayana so many years back “Good prevails over Evil”. Same thing really! Although it didn’t require a Valmiki or a PhD in some esoteric sounding science to tell me that. Its very simple really: I AM, therefore, I SHOULD BE!

You get that “Anti-me”?? BOOOO!

Now, moving further on…..

…… Universe was fast expanding – that could be seen. There is a possibility of dark matter and then dark energy. Again, that could be observed, so throw that in. Some one said it all started from the Big Bang. Great! That adds the appetizer to this strange A La Carte menu of dishes which the Science has served us in a Creational Dinner.

The problem, as the scientists have been pondering, albeit secretly until now and rarely have a confession over it – is that these components do not necessarily belong together!

It’s like serving the Mexican tortillas as appetizer, entries of Moroccan lentils with Thai curry and smoked ham, with French bread, an enchilada and a Mango Lassi! They sound exotic and exciting when brought together but they have been brought together simply because that’s what the company selling you raw material gave you and that’s what the Chef knew what to do with that. Not, because they belong together, necessarily!

So, up came this smart chef called Paul Steinhardt, a theoretical physicist at Princeton University, who got together with another crazy one called Neil Turok of the Cambridge University. And, together they have come up with a special platter to serve the crazy combination of theories on. They call this the Ekpyrotic Universe Platter… er.. Theory.

What this theory says is that Universe is in a habit of going back and forth once every trillion years. We ain’t the only ones who are born and die… even the Universes do. So, you big Daddy out there, if you thought you were invincible? TAKE THAT you sucker!

In the scientific lingo – Enormous sheet-like “branes,” representing different parts of our universe, collide about once every trillion years. Why trillion? Because no one can dispute that! You won’t be there when Universe’s “brane” decides to do the next jig.. so who the heck cares?! And these guys would have taken their exit anyways, after living on their grants-driven research always expounding strange stuff that happens at intervals no one knows about!

Secret to a comfortable scientific life – Keep talking in large enough numbers that no one can dispute. If its in trillions, so much the better! Even the green-gooey aliens observing our nonsense would be intrigued at our genius and actually start believing our shit!

Around this side of the Universe, its all about perceptions and keeping your opponent busy with crazy nonsense you see! You keep those aliens counting to a trillion, they stay away from our efforts to self annihilate. We can do a better job than others in this Universe.. so thanks but no thanks! We love the DIY (do-it-yourself) way and this is one thing we better not outsource!

So, do these smart-ass scientists with “branes” turned “brains” know their stuff? Well, not that they get paid to admit such sinful things.. but one dude secretly isn’t so sure!

Caltech astronomer Richard Massey. “But I’m equally terrified of finding out that everything I know is wrong, and secretly hope that I don’t.”

Terrified????!!! Heck you are!! So, all the money we have been sending your way to maintain your crazy hair and bloated egos have been a waste? Pssst… it may well have been!

Because, you go ask an accomplished Indian Yogi and he would have told you that if you could “observe” any part of creation deep enough to actually “know” it – any person or any rock or whatever – you would know that there have been 83 such big bangs (births of the Universe) since the beginning of time.

For inside every atom and nanometer of creation lies the DNA of its origin. If you could gauge deep into your own-self, you could gauge the Universe as well. Unfortunately, we have neither the humility for self exploration nor the passion for a liberating knowledge.

We are too busy serving exotic stuff to take care of our intellectual appetite!

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