Space, Women, WMDs, and Mission Accomplished!

Last updated on: September 28, 2007 at 1:08 pm by Desh Kapoor

Space, Women, WMDs, and Mission Accomplished! 2007-09-28T13:08:49-05:00 Desh Kapoor

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Ok, this is the first time we humans from Earth have sent a space-ship that will go to one cosmic body…. circle it.. stare it.. and then go for another one. True Interplanetary journey! We men have had been practicing this on the women for past few hundred centuries. I am sure we have mastered this act of "checking bodies out" by now!! And if the space ship does get a little "Hot" in the act, let’s just say our centuries of practice has made us ready for that experience! So, onwards!

Now, don’t get me wrong. Its not as if our forays into space have been strictly platonic! We have been checking out various bodies and stuff – like those of planets and asteroids. But never two at one go. Time had come to show the cosmic world our expertise at double dipping. So, while we are at it, it was worth it to have a "go" at two of those curvy creatures!

And btw, we can finally use the stuff we learnt from picking up all those UFOs from aliens which they couldn’t start to take them back in their haste…. or which crashed because of some error! As they say around the Galaxy, One person’s trash is another person’s Interplanetary spaceship!

As yet we don’t really go beyond our moon sitting in these machines personally. Several reasons for that really. One, we don’t want proliferation of spaceship technology. What if we get caught by some blue guys "out there" just like we caught those "dumb green guys"? We are where the buck stops! We ARE IT! Once we get the secret, we keep it! You can take our ship, but can’t get our brains! We don’t let anyone Abu Gharaib us!

Second reason is because, we don’t trust the rainbow skinned little creatures floating around the cosmos! Who knows they might be the ultimate owners of WMDs? In this age of Bushy political philosophy, we humans get our enemies in "their own house"! So, before they can come to our planet, we will "get them"! We are rich in bacteria here. And, we have found that our bacteria on a space flight becomes extra angry. Hence, we just pack our ships with few of the meanest ones and let them free on those blue, green, purple, and yellow aliens out there living on asteroids and planets! Yeah.. yeah.. Ceres is the size of Texas and Vesta is the size of Arizona, but then calculate the number of those alien midgets you can squeeze in Texas? Well, now they are all gone! Our NASA branded meanie bacteria will get them right in the comfort of their own underground homes!

Imagine the sight of Bush flying into the International Space Station in cowboy boots and declaring "Mission Accomplished"? Would that be cool, huh?

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