3 Surprising Reasons to Initiate Sex With Your Man

Last updated on: November 17, 2017 at 7:40 pm by Shaunti Feldhahn

3 Surprising Reasons to Initiate Sex With Your Man 2017-11-17T19:40:52+00:00 Shaunti Feldhahn

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2. When you initiate sex, it deeply comforts and affirms your husband.

We women have no clue how much self-doubt men carry around all day. Am I any good at what I do? Does my wife think I’m a good husband? Is my colleague going to figure out that I’m making this up as I go along? Do I measure up as a man? As a dad? Men are far more emotionally vulnerable than we realize.

And I was stunned, when I studied men for For Women Only and my other books, to discover that a man’s most emotionally vulnerable time is when he approaches his wife for intimacy. A man feels like he is shakily extending out his unprotected heart, not knowing whether she will tenderly embrace it or smack it down. Certainly, there are also women who feel vulnerable when they are the ones with the higher libido than their husband. But for the majority of couples, it is the other way around. So when you respond well to your husband’s vulnerable heart, it is deeply comforting. (“She thinks I do measure up.”)

But now go one step further: if you are the one who reaches out now and then, he is not only comforted… he is flying. As one man told me – laughing, but completely in earnest – “The thought is, ‘Not only does she think I measure up – she thinks I’m a stud!’ You have no idea how much that affirms a guy. I may feel like a total imposter in life, but if my wife wants me I can handle anything.”

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