Husband-Speak: How to Transform His World With Your Words

Last updated on: November 17, 2017 at 7:40 pm by Shaunti Feldhahn

Husband-Speak: How to Transform His World With Your Words 2017-11-17T19:40:54+00:00 Shaunti Feldhahn

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Transforming Truth #3: Acknowledging his efforts encourages him to keep trying

Perhaps what made you want to run out of the house wasn’t a smelly casserole, but the fact that he accidentally washed the whites with a red t-shirt. Suddenly, all your underwear (and his!) is pink.

As noted, it is very easy to focus on what went wrong – that result most definitely did not please us! But it changes our perspective when we ask what he was trying to do to please us. In this case, for example, can we realize that he actually was helping with the laundry… and I want him to keep on doing it!? The man who most wants to please his wife will shut down from trying again if she jumps on his “fails.”

So if your husband turns all the underwear pink, in that moment reassure him – just as you would want to be reassured if you had messed up. Give him a hug. Thank him for helping with the laundry instead of scolding him. Believe me, he knows he failed. Big time. And if he’s like most men, his competitive nature will show up and he will want to learn and get it right next time – as long as you reassure him that you appreciate him, regardless.

Later, give him some pointers—if they are needed. (He may have already been scouring YouTube for videos about how to do a perfect load of laundry.) But for now, focus on the good. He was trying to help. He was making the effort… for you.

Go back Continue Reading

Previous Post

September 1, 2017

The Foreign Culture of a Man’s Mind and How to Navigate It

Next Post

September 8, 2017 Are Legos Just for Boys? It's Complicated

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category dissent Editor's Choice gifts humor kindness marriage men other parenting sex singleness teenagers Uncategorized women work

Select a Month November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 April 2017 March 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What famous cathedral is in Paris, known for its flying buttresses and rose windows?

Select your answer to see how you score.

St. Peter's Notre Dame Canterbury St. Paul's