4 Secrets in Your Man’s Heart (That You Need to Know)

Last updated on: November 17, 2017 at 7:40 pm by Shaunti Feldhahn

4 Secrets in Your Man’s Heart (That You Need to Know) 2017-11-17T19:40:57+00:00 Shaunti Feldhahn

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Secret #2: Your man is always looking for signals about how he is doing – and you’re always sending those signals, whether you realize it or not.

Because of your man’s subconscious vulnerability, he’s looking for signals from the people around him about whether he’s doing a good job (“Does my wife think I’m a good dad? Did my co-worker seem to think I have what it takes to run this project? Did the kids notice that I set aside my own work tonight to drive them to baseball?)

When you regularly share your discontent (“Why did you send the kids outside without their coats?” “You forgot the extra butter at the store again”), you send a very painful signal. It is roughly equivalent to the signal you would get if you tried to hug your husband for reassurance during an emotional conflict, and he stonily set you aside, and said ‘I do not want to talk to you today.’ By contrast, when you express overt appreciation for the little things he does, you affirm your husband in the most tender places of his heart.

Tweet this: “When you express appreciation for the little things, you affirm your husband in the most tender places of his heart.“

Believe it or not, when it’s raining and he drops you off near the door to the movie theater, your simple words, “Thank you for keeping me dry, honey” is a huge encouragement to him. (“She noticed what I did, and thinks I did a good job.”)

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