Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Ask Shaunti

Home
A sincere plea from someone who doesn’t want to see Kardashian’s nude selfie but isn’t a “slut shamer”

A sincere plea from someone who doesn’t want to see Kardashian’s nude selfie but isn’t a “slut shamer”

Last updated on: November 17, 2017 at 7:41 pm by Shaunti Feldhahn

A sincere plea from someone who doesn’t want to see Kardashian’s nude selfie but isn’t a “slut shamer” 2017-11-17T19:41:10+00:00 Shaunti Feldhahn

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Screen Shot 2016-03-15 at 9.02.42 PM

Unless you’ve been under a rock, you’ve heard about Kim Kardashian’s nude selfie. Yes, that’s the kind of culture we live in now: the kind in which you know that Kim Kardashian apparently had “nothing to wear.” The kind in which, as Bette Midler pointed out, the only way Kardashian could show us anything we hadn’t seen would be for her to “swallow the camera.” The kind in which dismay about this trend gets a person vilely attacked on social media as a “slut shamer.”

So what’s the problem with this picture? (Yes, pun intended.) Of course I’m five degrees of furious that my 13-year-old son can’t turn on television without having that image tempt his visually-wired brain without his consent, as news channels broadcast the latest example of Kardashian excess. And I’m intensely worried about the inevitable, silent comparisons my 15-year-old daughter and her friends will make between the perfectly toned (and let’s be honest, photoshopped) body in the selfie and their own perfectly normal, healthy adolescent figures.

But all that isn’t my main problem: my main problem is that concerned citizens can’t even say this is a problem without people calling us slut-shamers. Without people telling us (paraphrasing an actual comment about my book Through A Man’s Eyes on this topic), “Go to that really hot place for eternity with all those other bigoted, idiotic people like you who need to go have sex with themselves.”

Hm.

Raise your hand if you think we should be having a conversation about two different types of decency here.

If some women are perfectly fine with taking nude selfies, and speaking out against it becomes a societal no-no, where is the line? When does pushing the envelope become too much? And how will there ever be a “too much” if we don’t fight the censors who say that politely asking for a return of old fashioned modesty is slut-shaming?

Yes, millions of Americans eagerly await anything Kim Kardashian wants to show off. It’s a free country, so she should be able to post whatever she wants, and others should be free to view it. But precisely because it is a free country I should also be able to tell Ms. Kardashian I wish she would stop, for the sake of boys like my son and girls like my daughter. Because it is a free country I should be able to tell Instagram they need to tighten their nudity policies so we don’t broadcast pornography so openly. Because it is a free country I should be able to encourage viewers to stop putting pornography into their brains and desensitizing themselves to something that both objectifies women and harms the men who most want to honor women.

To those women who get indignant at me, I ask: instead of trying to silence my message, look at it more closely. You may still disagree, but you’ll realize the intention is respectful, not the opposite.

To those people who agree with me, I ask: speak up. Say your piece. Don’t stoop to the level of the haters, but continue to take your place in the public square. Don’t cede the ground to those who try to silence you. Because just imagine: if you let them push you out of the square the only thing left will be Kim Kardashian’s nude figure standing as a testimony to free speech.

Screen Shot 2016-03-15 at 9.16.21 PM

I want to hear from you! By voting in this poll, you will also hear from me via email when I post to this blog!

Fill out my online form.

Wish Shaunti could speak at an event in your area? You can help! Forward this piece or others to a leader at your organization or church, with a note of recommendation. They can reach Shaunti at[email protected].

Shaunti Feldhahn is the best-selling author of eye-opening, research-based books about men, women and relationships, including For Women Only, For Men Only, the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage, and her newest book, Through A Man’s Eyes. A Harvard-trained social researcher and popular speaker, her ﬁndings are regularly featured in media as diverse as The Today Show, Focus on the Family, and the New York Times. Visit www.shaunti.com for more.

Previous Post

March 15, 2016

3 Lies You Can’t Let Your Son Believe About Himself

Next Post

March 16, 2016 POLL and RESULTS: What do you think about Kardashian's nude selfie?

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category dissent Editor's Choice gifts humor kindness marriage men other parenting sex singleness teenagers Uncategorized women work

Select a Month November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 April 2017 March 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014

Follow Us!

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What New Covenant promise is found in Jeremiah?

Select your answer to see how you score.

God will flood the earth God will raise a new king in Israel God will write His law on their hearts God will destroy Egypt

Related posts from Ask Shaunti

How to Stop Male Co-Workers' Resentment ... When...

Kiss and Make Up? Not So Fast.

The Foreign Culture of a Man’s Mind and...

Guys, She Cares About This One Thing More...

TRENDING AT PATHEOS Family

The Bishops Admitted that Trump Used Them. That...

I wrote a post on Monday in which I described the humiliating...

Sunday Readings: The Call to Holiness

The readings for the Solemnity of All Saints present a powerful message...

Why Demons Hate Halloween

A lost letter from Screwtape's Desk on the perils of Halloween-- My...

What Americans Think Is Essential for a Fulfilling...

A study found that most Americans consider "having good friends" to be...

Methodist Breakthrough in Bristol-- Part Three

There is so much information stored in the New Room in Bristol...

The Queen of Sheba: Ethiopian Queen?

Welcome back to our Ark Series. Last week we examined whether the...

view all Family blogs

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Copyright 2008-2026, Patheos. All rights reserved.

Subscription Support Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In

Follow Patheos