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Pastor, please realize that the reason they are leaving the church is because of attitudes like this

Pastor, please realize that the reason they are leaving the church is because of attitudes like this

Last updated on: April 19, 2022 at 1:42 am by Rob Dalrymple

Pastor, please realize that the reason they are leaving the church is because of attitudes like this 2022-04-18T11:22:19-08:00 Rob Dalrymple

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I recently read a pastor’s blog post in which the author condemned as heretics those who choose to attend church from home rather than in person. In my disgust with the post, I shared the blog with someone whose simple reply says it all: “he is tone-deaf.”

To this pastor, I would like to know: what exactly were you hoping to accomplish?

If your goal was to make a point about the Bible and the church, I suppose you did it—though I am not sure I agree.
If your goal was to affirm those who faithfully attend church, I suppose you did it also. I wonder, however, if you are aware that convictions like this only serve to contribute to an attitude of judgmentalism and pride that already characterizes too many within our churches?
If your goal was to further harden the hearts of those who have been hurt by the church and do not know where to turn, I am sorry to say that you did this also.
If your goal was to turn those who are lost and not sure where to turn further away from the judgmentalism and condemnation that has for too long characterized the church, I am sorry to say that you have succeeded here also.

What you did not do, however, was pastor.

What you did not do was show an awareness of the contemporary church and why it is dying. Hence, you are “tone-deaf.” The American church is dying, and your post is a perfect example of the problem.

Why are these “heretics”—as you call them—not attending church?

Too many have been hurt by the church. They are not attending church because they are trying to heal. Just as we would never counsel a victim of abuse to return to their abuser until they have healed and it is safe, so also, we must empathize with those whom the church has wounded. Labeling them heretics is not helping.

They don’t need to attend church. They need the church to attend to them.

They don’t need to attend church. They need to get well.

Sadly, instead of pastoring them through their pain, you have driven them further from the church and deepened their pain.

Others are leaving the church because they have had enough of the hypocrisy.

They are tired of the failure of churches to live out the teachings of Jesus.

They are done with churches that care more about preserving the institution than with following Jesus.

They want to follow a Jesus that cares for the poor and the oppressed and not church attendance.

If your goal was to save the institution, I am not sure you succeeded. In fact, I would say that the attitude that your post reflects will surely continue to its demise.

Unfortunately, your post exemplifies the very problem that is plaguing the American Christian church.

As a good friend of mine said, “I don’t think it’s possible to sustain faith in any sort of transformative way if we’re doing it alone. But the answer isn’t showing up to a weekly gathering. It’s beginning to live with brothers and sisters (and maybe just a handful/dozen) in a daily sort of close familial way.”

NB: I have since corresponded with this pastor. We had some healthy dialogues. And, though I understand why he is frustrated with some of those who have chosen not to come back after the pandemic, I would still contend that his approach was more harmful than good.

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About Rob Dalrymple

Rob Dalrymple is married to his wife Toni and is the father of four fabulous children, and has two grandchildren. He has been teaching and pastoring for over 32 years at colleges, seminaries, and the local church. He has a PhD (Westminster Theological Seminary) in biblical interpretation. He is the author of four books (including: Follow the Lamb: A Guide to Reading, Understanding, and Applying the Book of Revelation & Understanding the New Testament and the End Times: Why it Matters) as well as numerous articles and other publications. You can read more about the author here.

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