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Ellen Debenport

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What Do Your Friends See in You?

What Do Your Friends See in You?

Last updated on: May 31, 2016 at 7:00 am by Ellen Debenport

What Do Your Friends See in You? 2016-05-30T10:30:38-05:00 Ellen Debenport

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

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Did you know that if your friends are fat, you’re more likely to be fat?

And if your friends are rich, you’re more likely to be rich?

Apparently this syndrome goes beyond like-minded people who naturally seek each other out. The consciousness of those around you affects what you become.

So if you have goals and dreams, if you’re working to elevate your worldview, if you are seeking more spirituality or any improvement in your life, you might want to look at the company you keep.

What are their lives like?

How do they see the world?

What do they believe is possible in the future?

And how well do they support your vision for your life?

“It’s better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours, and you’ll drift in that direction,” says billionaire Warren Buffett.

CONSCIOUSNESS IS CONTAGIOUS

I’m not suggesting you ditch friends who happen to be fat or broke. Compassion is probably in order.

But you might want to add a few friends who already have the kind of life you want.

Whether you want to make money, lose weight, find love or deepen your spiritual practice, look around for someone who is living that way.

This is not just seeking out teachers, mentors or coaches. Of course, you can learn from people who are deliberately passing on their knowledge.

I’m suggesting you try to form personal relationships with those who have what you want. Watch what they do, listen to how they think. Absorb their energy and see whether you can adopt their mindset.

As they say in 12-step groups, stick with the winners.

To illustrate my point, let me tell you a quick Bible story. (Hang on, take a breath. Yes, it’s from the Bible, but it’s ultimately a story about you and me.)

I don’t take the story literally, but among its many meanings is a lesson in choosing your friends.

The scene is in the Book of Matthew, when a bunch of disciples are out in a fishing boat on a dark and windy night. They’re hanging on against the waves, when Jesus comes walking toward them on the water.

Everyone knows Jesus walked on water, but there’s more to the story.

Peter, his right-hand disciple who vacillated between faith and doubt, said, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.”

Jesus said, “Come.”

So Peter got out of the boat and started walking toward Jesus on the water.

He got out of the boat! In the middle of a dark lake with wind and waves pounding. And he walked on top of the water.

Until . . . he noticed the conditions around him, remembered that people aren’t supposed to be able to walk on water, and started to sink.

Jesus fished Peter out of the drink and said, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”

I love that story because Peter believed in his own divine power for a minute. He took a chance on being more than he had ever been.

He didn’t entirely succeed that time.

But in his efforts to become a better version of himself, he was hanging out with people on a similar path.

And he had Jesus standing there, believing in him.

Whatever Peter’s foibles and failings, Jesus saw great possibilities in Peter. Jesus praised every glimmer of faith and coached Peter on living into his own power.

Imagine how confidence-boosting it must have been to hang out in Jesus’ energy!

INTENTIONAL FRIENDSHIPS

Who, in your life, is rooting for your success?

Who sees great possibilities in you?

Friends and family sometimes have a tendency to be wet blankets, even unintentionally. They warn of risks or predict failure, cite statistics or drag down dreams using the logic-laden voice of fear.

They are probably speaking out of love, wanting to protect you.

But they might not be aware everything starts in thought. To change your life, you have to change your thinking.

Most of us have been taught to think in terms of what might go wrong, to troubleshoot or look for pitfalls.

Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes. But where you want to go with your life is uncharted territory for you.

It’s going to take some effort to keep your mind in a place of possibility, to hold the vision of whatever you’re trying to create.

So find some people who believe in your vision.

Treasure those who see greatness in you.

Borrow faith from friends who believe in you, even when you are doubting or discouraged.

Hang out with people who know we are divine beings with access to Infinite Mind, where all answers lie.

Immerse yourself in the consciousness of people who understand that the future starts with your thoughts today. Then see whether your life begins to change.

I would love to hear your current vision for your life and how you have found people to support you. Scroll down to the comment section.

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