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Ellen Debenport

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How to Figure Out What You Really Want

How to Figure Out What You Really Want

Last updated on: October 11, 2016 at 8:49 am by Ellen Debenport

How to Figure Out What You Really Want 2016-10-11T08:49:33-05:00 Ellen Debenport

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photo by Juan Camilo Trujillo on flickr

Do you know what you want in your life?

Maybe not the rest of your life, but at least the next few years?

I’m continually surprised by people who struggle to form a vision for their lives. They say they’re reasonably happy and simply want to keep everything on an even keel.

I do understand them. I’m not always sure what I want next, either. Maybe we get to live on plateaus of happiness for a while.

But in a recent blog, I kinda complained about happy people who insist they need nothing more. I believe desire is an evolutionary driver. We’re wired to keep moving forward, which means we’ll always want more.

Some people spend more time planning a weekend trip than the rest of their lives. But I can offer two good reasons for giving serious thought to your ideal future.

One is that you’ll be creating your experience every day whether you’re aware of it or not. That’s a basic universal law – what we focus on expands.

You can “go with the flow” and just wait to be surprised by what shows up. But whatever it is will perfectly reflect the thoughts that have been drifting lazily through your mind or caught up in whirlwinds of busy-ness.

Your life is the picture of your mental outlook, your deepest beliefs.

PUT IT INTO WORDS

Why not focus your thoughts like a laser beam to create the experience you want?

That’s when you need a vision for where you’re headed, and that’s the second good reason to spend a little time on this. A vision allows you to start taking steps toward a dream and to measure your progress.

I’m always gratified when people who thought they had no vision discover there really is more they want to do, more ways to create, more opportunities to give and serve others.

How did they come up with a vision? Often, I walked them through it. That’s what I do when I coach people, which I started doing this year.

But creating a vision is no secret, and I’ll tell you the process right now. (I have to give credit to Mary Morrissey, the spiritual teacher who introduced this to me.)

Divide a sheet of paper into four quadrants. Writing down a vision, or any goal, multiplies its power.

Label the four quadrants Health, Relationships, Vocation, and Time and Money.

Let’s make this a three-year vision.

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