Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

The Deacon's Bench

Home
Catholic
Religion News
When a monk dies: ‘Life is a grand, sacred narrative’

When a monk dies: ‘Life is a grand, sacred narrative’

Last updated on: August 21, 2019 at 1:20 am by Deacon Greg Kandra

When a monk dies: ‘Life is a grand, sacred narrative’ 2019-08-21T01:20:27-04:00 Deacon Greg Kandra

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

My friend Father James Stephen Behrens, OCSO — known to many as “Jeff” — entered eternal life last Thursday. You can read more about him here.

I’m unable to attend the funeral in Conyers, Georgia on Wednesday, but Jeff is very much on my mind and in my heart these days. His name has been on our lips as my wife and I prayed together in the mornings and evenings. The loss is palpable.

In the long and winding story of my life, Jeff was a figure God used to draw me toward my vocation; I don’t know that I would be a deacon today if it weren’t for him. His writing drew me to Conyers, where our friendship led to other trips, which brought me to that abbey for the International Lay Cistercian Encounter in 2002, when I had the unexpected experience of meeting for the first time in my life a permanent deacon. Four months later, I began formation.

Life is a wonder.

Tuesday, preparing for the funeral, his friend Brother Mark Dohle wrote the following and shared it on Facebook.

He describes the beautiful rituals surrounding the funeral of a monk:

When a member of our community dies, we gather the day before the funeral to receive the body. I guess this is around my 55th time for this, and a very powerful liturgical event.

Family, and friends of the Monastery gather for the ‘Vespers’ for the dead. The body is placed in our bier, and 8 men are the pall-bearers. The body leads the procession to the front of the church, where it is placed beneath the Paschal Candle. The candle that is lit at the Easter Vigil.

We sing the Vespers for the dead. Tonight the monks will take turns sitting with the body and to pray for Fr. James until the 10 AM service starts on Wednesday. Praying for the dead is a Catholic practice that is often not understood by non-Catholic’s, but is very important in the Catholic Church.

It is still a little unsettling, the receiving of the body, but also healing for the community and hopefully for the family. In reality, apart from the sitting with James, the rituals that surround death are just as much for the living as for the deceased.

During Vespers, I kept looking over at James’s body beneath the Paschal and was not sure what I felt. Yet my chest hurt, so I guess I was repressing the deep sadness that is there, but I am not always aware of it. We all go through this, saying goodbye to a loved one. Each one there had their own inner experience to feel and deal with. I feel for the family, which is a very loving one and close-knit.

When I was a young monk, it was always the ‘old ones’ who died. Well, now I am an ‘old one’. Life is a journey, and I am getting close to the end, even if I live another 20 years, it is a short time for someone who has lived for 70 years.

People have faith because they have it. It does give us hope. Tonight we read from the 15th chapter of Corinthians, which dealt with the reality of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, how our faith is built on that reality of the Risen Lord.

James was a man of faith, but he questioned and doubted as we all do I believe. Doubt is important because, like pain, it brings us back to ourselves and leads us to go deeper into the mystery of our faith. Which is rewarding, and I believe important today since it is really impossible to be a ‘cultural Catholic’, or a follower of any faith or religion. We need to know what our faith teaches and to deepen our seeking after the Lord.

So I believe that James is with the Lord, the Risen Lord. He is not far away, not even in the next room, but in this room with us, having put on the Mind-Of-Christ, he is much more than what he was before he was called home by the Lord.

It is important to love, to open our hearts to others, to learn to forgive and to have compassion and empathy for others. In this, we suffer, all of us, for there is always someone left. So until we are the ones who leave we have to seek to not fear the inner pain, sorrow, and longing to see just one more time the loved one, the friend, the family member. We learn to trust, to keep on going, knowing that sooner rather than later, we will be called to follow.

May God bless and keep us all in his embrace. May we respond to grace’s calling, and may we never stop trusting in God love for us.

Over the weekend, I went searching for old pictures of Jeff. They are few and far between. I lost a lot of pictures when my computer hard drive gave up the ghost about a year ago. But I did uncover this picture of him from about 2002 or 2003. He had taken a break from monastic life and was thinking of leaving the Trappists — something he struggled with a lot back in those days. He found himself in New York for his birthday and a group of us — his two brothers, a priest friend and me — took him to the Mesa Grill near Union Square for dinner.

I also found a leather journal, which he gave me at the end of one of my visits to the monastery. He wrote on the first page:

“Life is a grand, sacred narrative and I’m very grateful we have come to know each other through it. Hope you find some good stories for these pages. I’m sure you will. Peace, Jeff.”

The pages of that slender book are still blank. But so many other pages of my life have been filled to overflowing — and I owe that, in great measure, to Jeff and the uncanny workings of the Holy Spirit. He titled one of his collections of essays “Grace is Everywhere.” Yes, it is. Jeff taught me to keep my eyes and heart open for it — even in the ordinary, the mundane, the overlooked and the forgotten.

It’s all grace.

Until we meet again, brother:

Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. May his soul and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

My world and welcome to it

James Stephen Behrens

Trappists

Previous Post

August 20, 2019

BREAKING: Cardinal Pell loses appeal, will remain in prison

Next Post

August 21, 2019 From hardwood to homilies: former NBA ref becomes a deacon

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category "Mad Men" 9/11 advent All Things New Amazing video amazing videos amazon america Anglicans Anti-Catholicism art ascension thursday ash wednesday Atheists baltimore Bible Bishops Blogging bonnie engstrom Books bridgeport Brooklyn Chaplains children christian art christmas Church Churches CNEWA Converts criticism Deacons Death Penalty easter eastern christian Eastern Christians Ecumenism Education education Eucharist Europe euthanasia Evangelization Exorcism Family Feasts Gay rights Good Friday Great links Great Moments in Journalism Hanging with the saints heather renshaw Hispanic Catholics Hispanics History homelies Homilies Humor Hymn of the Week Immigration indianapolis Inspiration Interfaith news ireland Jesus Jews Journalism Judaism lent Liturgy logos Marriage Mary Media Medical news Mental health Middle East Monks Movies Music Muslims My world and welcome to it New Evangelization new york News Nuns Parenting Parish life peoria Persecution politics Politics Pope pope francis pope john paul Prayer Preaching Priests Pro-life Quote of the day radio rebecca frech ripp Ripped from the headlines rippred from the headlines Sacraments saints Scripture sex abuse Sex abuse crisis SEX ABUSE CRISIS TAGGED WITH: SEX ABUSE CRISIS The people in the pews the visitation project theatre This & that Thomas Merton Trappists TV uncategorized Uncategorized VATICAN Vatican vocation Vocations Voices & Views Women Worth a thousand words Writing Year of Faith year of mercy young people

Select a Month December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who was the prophet that confronted King David about his sin with Bathsheba?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Samuel Elijah Isaiah Nathan

Books by This Author Books by Deacon Greg Kandra

See All Titles »