‘We’re at the top of the roller coaster now’: Newly ordained deacon launches blog about his daily life in Holy Orders

Last updated on: July 2, 2018 at 11:38 pm by Deacon Greg Kandra

‘We’re at the top of the roller coaster now’: Newly ordained deacon launches blog about his daily life in Holy Orders 2018-07-02T23:38:25-04:00 Deacon Greg Kandra

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This is simply a great idea, from Deacon Ken Crawford from the Diocese of Sacramento:

I was ordained on June 30th, 2018 at the Cathedral of the Blessed Sacrament by Bishop Jaime Soto. This website is a journal of my life as a Deacon. My intent is to post a journal entry every morning in 3 formats: video, audio podcast and text blog-post.

Some background on me:

I am a life-long Californian, born to fallen away Catholics. I was raised in Oakland, CA and occasionally attended the Methodist church as a child. I was baptized in the Methodist church as a youth. In middle school my parents divorced and I moved to Newark, CA for high school. However, for me I mostly consider those years a short stop-over and primarily consider myself a product of Oakland.

You can read more about him here.

From his first blog post:

About a month before my ordination I decided that I really wanted to well document my first year as a deacon. Like the first year of marriage I’m sure there is going to be so much that happens that is going to be formative in my ministry and I though it would be really good, both for myself and perhaps for others, to share that with all of you. And so we begin that journey today.

My plan is to post every weekday, perhaps an occasional Saturday, for a full year, and then we’ll see where it goes after that. Today my intent is to post about the ordination itself. Then in the days and weeks to come, I’ll post more about myself, my journey that got me here and then other things that occur.

As we were about to be ordained and were standing outside on the steps of the cathedral, waiting to process in, one of my brother candidates said, “Gentlemen, we’re at the top of the roller coaster now!” And it was so apt. There was something about it that just resonated, not only then but in the moments to come. We had worked so hard to reach this moment. But at the same time, we knew we were just starting on this journey. We had butterflies and unease and we weren’t sure where this was all headed, and walking down the isle into the church as part of the procession was like that first drop of the roller coaster. It was both exciting and exhilarating and a bit terrifying. You didn’t know what was going to come. You didn’t know if you were going to be able to take it. But you were excited nevertheless. I think that’s how we all felt on Saturday.

One moment that really stood out to me was when I promised my fidelity to the bishop. I had already done that in writing, they have us sign an form. It was done in either March or May, somewhere in the spring. So I didn’t think that doing it again in person would be that big of a deal. But just like my own wedding, where I promised to love and care for my wife for the rest of our lives, the same was true of actually standing before the bishop and promising my fidelity. For the 2nd time in my live I stood in a church and promised to serve someone for the rest of my life. That was a meaningful and important moment for me. It really affected me deeply.

A 2nd more humorous thing is I didn’t realize how hard it was to shove the Holy Spirit into someone. When Bishop Soto laid his hands on me I expected something gentle. Yet he was really shoving down. At first I thought, am I kneeling to tall? Does he want me to be lower? …all the other guys said the same thing, that he pushed really hard. So one can only assume that the Holy Spirit doesn’t go in easy and you really have to push. … that was I humorous moment, but I don’t know, maybe there’s something there.

And finally, I was reminded of something that perhaps I had a little bit forgotten. You should never assume how God’s grace will feel.

Read more and check out the first video entry below. I think this will be a fascinating journey to follow—and it may well be helpful to a lot of deacons walking a similar path (along with deacon candidates and those who are discerning a vocation.) Bookmark and plan to check back frequently. I know I will.

Ad multos annos, Ken!

Deacons

Sacramento

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