Pope Francis to engaged couples: “Living together is an art summarized in three words: please, thanks and sorry”

Last updated on: September 30, 2016 at 3:58 pm by Deacon Greg Kandra

Pope Francis to engaged couples: “Living together is an art summarized in three words: please, thanks and sorry” 2016-09-30T15:58:13-04:00 Deacon Greg Kandra

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

To mark St. Valentine’s Day, the pope held a special audience for engaged couples this morning. He offered some wonderful insight and advice.

Vatican Radio has the scoop:

Ten thousand engaged couples from all over the world gathered today, on the feast of St. Valentine, in St. Peter’s Square to consider the vocation of marriage, with the theme “The joy of ‘Yes’ forever”, and to meet with Pope Francis. The event, organised by the Pontifical Council for the Family, takes as its starting point the idea that one does not get married once all problems are solved, but rather that one marries in order to face problems together, and concludes that it is still possible to take the risk of saying “forever”, that it takes courage, but “forever” is a prospect that brings joy and allows us to look to the future with hope.

The event began at 11 a.m. with a series of testimonies from couples, interspersed with readings and songs dedicated to love in its various manifestations, and at 12.30 p.m. the Holy Father entered the Square to greet the couples and to comment on three issues put forward by many couples: The fear of “forever”, living together, the matrimonial way of life; and the type of matrimonial celebration.“It is important to ask ourselves if it is possible to love one another ‘forever’”, affirmed the Pope.

“Today many people are afraid of making definitive decisions, that affect them for all their lives, because it seems impossible … and this mentality leads many who are preparing for marriage to say, ‘We will stay together for as long as our love lasts’. But what do we mean by ‘love’? A mere emotion, a psycho-physical state? Certainly, if it is just this, it cannot provide the foundation for building something solid. But if instead love is a relationship, then it is a growing reality, and we can also say, by way of example, that it is built in the same way that we build a house. And we build a house together, not alone! … You would not wish to build it on the shifting sands of emotions, but on the rock of true love, the love that comes from God. The family is born of this project of love that wishes to grow, as one builds a house that becomes the locus of affection, help, hope and support. Just as God’s love is stable and lasts forever, we want the love on which a family is based to be stable and to last forever. We must not allow ourselves to be conquered by a ‘throwaway culture’. This fear of ‘forever’ is cured by entrusting oneself day by day to the Lord Jesus in a life that becomes a daily spiritual path of common growth, step by step. Because ‘forever’ is not simply a question of duration! A marriage does not succeed just because it lasts; its quality is also important. To stay together and to know how to love each other for ever is the challenge Christian married couples face! … In the Our Father prayer we say, ‘Give us this day our daily bread’. Married couples may also learn to pray, ‘Give us this day our daily love’, teach us to love each other, to care for each other. The more you entrust yourselves to the Lord, the more your love will be ‘for ever’, able to renew itself and to overcome every difficulty”.

In response to the second question, Francis emphasised that living together is “an art, a patient, beautiful and fascinating journey … which can be summarised in three words: please, thanks and sorry. ‘Please’ is a kind request to be able to enter into the life of someone else with respect and care. … True love does not impose itself with hardness and aggression. … St. Francis said that ‘courtesy is the sister of charity, it extinguishes hatred and kindles love’. And today, in our families, in our world, often violent and arrogant, there is a need for far more courtesy. ‘Thank you’: gratitude is an important sentiment. Do we know how to say thank you? In your relationship, and in your future as married couples, it is important to keep alive your awareness that the other person is a gift from God, and we should always give thanks for gifts from God. … It is not merely a kind word to use with strangers, in order to be polite. It is necessary to know how to say thank you, to journey ahead together”.“’Sorry’. In our lives we make many errors, many mistakes. We all do. … And this is why we need to be able to use this simple word, ‘sorry’. In general we are all ready to accuse other sand to justify ourselves. It is an instinct that lies at the origins of many disasters. Let us learn to recognise our mistakes and to apologise. … Also in this way, the Christian family grows. We are all aware that the perfect family does not exist, nor does the perfect husband, nor the perfect wife. We exist, and we are sinners. Jesus, who knows us well, teaches us a secret: never let a day go by without asking forgiveness, or without restoring peace to your home. … If we learn to apologise and to forgive each other, the marriage will last and will move on”.

Finally, the Holy Father commented that marriage should be a celebration, but a Christian rather than a worldly one. He offered as an example Jesus’ first miracle at Cana, when he transformed water into wine when the latter appeared to have run out, thus saving the celebrations. “What happened at Cana two thousand years ago, happens in reality at every wedding feast. It is the presence of the Lord, who reveals Himself and the gift of His grace, that will render your marriage full and profoundly true. … At the same time, it is good for your wedding to be sober and to emphasise that which is truly important. Some people are more concerned with external signs, with the banquet, the dress… These are important aspects of a feast, but only if they are able to indicate the true reason for your joy: the Lord’s blessing upon your love. Ensure that, like the wine in Cana, the external signs of your wedding feast reveal the presence of the Lord and remind you, and all those presence, of the origin of and reason for your joy”.

Marriage

Pope

Previous Post

February 14, 2014

"Beware of Pope Francis"

Next Post

February 14, 2014 Wanted: one used tabernacle

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category "Mad Men" 9/11 advent All Things New Amazing video amazing videos amazon america Anglicans Anti-Catholicism art ascension thursday ash wednesday Atheists baltimore Bible Bishops Blogging bonnie engstrom Books bridgeport Brooklyn Chaplains children christian art christmas Church Churches CNEWA Converts criticism Deacons Death Penalty easter eastern christian Eastern Christians Ecumenism Education education Eucharist Europe euthanasia Evangelization Exorcism Family Feasts Gay rights Good Friday Great links Great Moments in Journalism Hanging with the saints heather renshaw Hispanic Catholics Hispanics History homelies Homilies Humor Hymn of the Week Immigration indianapolis Inspiration Interfaith news ireland Jesus Jews Journalism Judaism lent Liturgy logos Marriage Mary Media Medical news Mental health Middle East Monks Movies Music Muslims My world and welcome to it New Evangelization new york News Nuns Parenting Parish life peoria Persecution Politics politics Pope pope francis pope john paul Prayer Preaching Priests Pro-life Quote of the day radio rebecca frech ripp Ripped from the headlines rippred from the headlines Sacraments saints Scripture sex abuse Sex abuse crisis SEX ABUSE CRISIS TAGGED WITH: SEX ABUSE CRISIS The people in the pews the visitation project theatre This & that Thomas Merton Trappists TV Uncategorized uncategorized Vatican VATICAN vocation Vocations Voices & Views Women Worth a thousand words Writing Year of Faith year of mercy young people

Select a Month December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

My reign brought prosperity until pride led me to burn incense in the temple, resulting in leprosy. Who am I?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Josiah Hezekiah Uzziah Asa

Books by This Author Books by Deacon Greg Kandra

See All Titles »