“I think I owe some apologies…”

Last updated on: September 30, 2016 at 4:51 pm by Deacon Greg Kandra

“I think I owe some apologies…” 2016-09-30T16:51:25-04:00 Deacon Greg Kandra

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Mark Shea strikes a poignant tone of contrition and humility in this morning’s post. Listen closely and you can hear the fervent thumping of his fist against his chest.

Snip:

The past week has not been a pleasant one, but it has been a fruitful one. I won’t bore you with a lot of autobiography, but I will say that the Holy Spirit has been very busy, turning over some rocks in the heart that have nasty things living under them. And since some of them concern youse guys (who have been way more patient with me than I would be if I were reading me over the past several years) I think I owe some apologies.

You know how something can be right in front of your face and you can’t see it? That’s what it’s been for me this week and really for a good number of years. I’ve sensed that something is wrong, but not been able to really get it or know what to do about it. Partly I spent a lot of time thinking about the reaction to this piece, in which it was very plain that the issue for readers was simply that I had offended and angered a lot of people for a long time. But in many ways, the reactions to that piece just seemed to recapitulate a lot of reactions over the years. It seemed obvious to me that the problem was me, not my readers (since I don’t believe in conspiracy theories). My assumption is that when a random sample of people all report a very similar experience, that’s because they are reacting to something that is there, not conspiring to create an illusion of something that is not.

So there was that. There is also the fact that, over the past several years, I have engaged in a number of arguments on a number of questions that have brought to the surface some pretty deep rooted habits of soul. I have remarked on them in the past and tried to repent of them (sincerely, I might add, but of course the problem with besetting sins is that they are besetting: think about that sin you’ve confessed a hundred times and seem to make no progress with. Frustrating, ain’t it?)

Anyway, it all kind of came to a head this weekend on Sunday, starting at Mass. The hymn was, appropriately enough for Corpus Christi, “Taste and See”. As I was praying it just got more and more apparent to me that the message I’m getting back from so many quarters is, if you will, “You taste bitter”.

And I couldn’t argue with that. I do taste bitter. And for that I am deeply, profoundly sorry, because it is through my fault, through my fault, through my own most grievous fault that I do. I’ve become bitter in much of my interaction with people. And bitterness is a root that “defiles many” according to Hebrews. In my case, I think I have defiled quite a number of hearts who came here looking for the gospel and instead just got Mark Shea getting increasingly cynical and angry about all sorts of stuff. You can’t eat food, including food for the soul, that is bitter. My apologies to all to whom I have done this.

And there is more. Deep, personal, searching and profoundly honest. It is, in a way, a gift—and a challenge. Read it all. There’s a lot here for all of us to ponder and pray over.

Blogging

Great links

Previous Post

June 4, 2013

Jean Stapleton: "I Had My Own Way of Finding Help. I Took Out My Bible..."

Next Post

June 4, 2013 Another Deacon in the Family

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category "Mad Men" 9/11 advent All Things New Amazing video amazing videos amazon america Anglicans Anti-Catholicism art ascension thursday ash wednesday Atheists baltimore Bible Bishops Blogging bonnie engstrom Books bridgeport Brooklyn Chaplains children christian art christmas Church Churches CNEWA Converts criticism Deacons Death Penalty easter eastern christian Eastern Christians Ecumenism Education education Eucharist Europe euthanasia Evangelization Exorcism Family Feasts Gay rights Good Friday Great links Great Moments in Journalism Hanging with the saints heather renshaw Hispanic Catholics Hispanics History homelies Homilies Humor Hymn of the Week Immigration indianapolis Inspiration Interfaith news ireland Jesus Jews Journalism Judaism lent Liturgy logos Marriage Mary Media Medical news Mental health Middle East Monks Movies Music Muslims My world and welcome to it New Evangelization new york News Nuns Parenting Parish life peoria Persecution Politics politics Pope pope francis pope john paul Prayer Preaching Priests Pro-life Quote of the day radio rebecca frech ripp Ripped from the headlines rippred from the headlines Sacraments saints Scripture sex abuse Sex abuse crisis SEX ABUSE CRISIS TAGGED WITH: SEX ABUSE CRISIS The people in the pews the visitation project theatre This & that Thomas Merton Trappists TV Uncategorized uncategorized VATICAN Vatican vocation Vocations Voices & Views Women Worth a thousand words Writing Year of Faith year of mercy young people

Select a Month December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

To whom did Jesus say, "Today you will be with me in paradise"?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Pilate Peter The repentant thief Nicodemus

Books by This Author Books by Deacon Greg Kandra

See All Titles »