Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Evangelical
The {Crooked} family tree: A twisted past, a promised future

The {Crooked} family tree: A twisted past, a promised future

Last updated on: October 30, 2017 at 1:05 pm by David Rupert

The {Crooked} family tree: A twisted past, a promised future 2017-10-30T13:05:50-06:00 David Rupert

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

We gently slit open the bags and the contents slid out into the small hole. First Mom’s. Then Dad’s. Between the two there was enough to fill a gallon ziplock. I thought there would be more volume. This is it — the sum of a life.

I swallowed hard.

We paused at their chosen resting place, under the crooked tree.

Where to put the memories?

They’ve been gone for several years now. Dad, always the gentleman, went first. Then Mom went less than a year later, her heart too heavy to carry on alone. And according to their wishes, they wished to be cremated. They aren’t the kind of people who wanted a stone memorial for people to come and weep over. It wasn’t their style and they clearly stated the desire for simplicity.

For years, now their ashes have been in the two wood boxes, tucked on the shelf in the garage. It wasn’t disrespectful. It wasn’t weird. We just didn’t have a plan in place.

It was time to find a home. My brother hasn’t been heard from in years, his comfort found apart from the rest of family. So, the responsibility fell to the rest of us as we decided what to do with the ashes.

As we thought about, the decision was really quite easy. Mom and Dad moved to Lake Tahoe in the early 60’s, lured by the pristine blue waters and idyllic setting. Back then it was a challenging place for Californian’s to migrate to. There were few jobs and deep snow. But they made a go of it and stayed in this beautiful place for the rest of their lives. Their marriage wasn’t always stable, but still they powered through and lasted 63 years until death did them part.

We all decided that the ashes should be in a place that had a view of their beloved lake and the mountains they held dear.

The Crooked Family Tree

I went on a walk partly to find a place, partly to find myself. I took in the pine-scented air as my feet crunched the musky aspen leaves, still yellow with edges tinged with frost. There was a steady wind that rode the tops of the winds and caused the lake’s waves to crest white. It was the kind of day that you don’t easily forget.

I came around the corner of the meadow and I saw a odd, crooked tree. As a sapling it had been crushed by the weight of the snow. But with time, it found it’s course, pointing to this sky.

This would be it. The final resting spot.

Why an imperfect tree? Why not a perfectly manicured cemetery or immaculate location, something more “dignified.”

Well, I think they would be proud of this decision. You see, my parents weren’t perfect people. There are holes in their lives, dark places that they never let on to. There was loneliness and abandonment and doubt and agony. They made poor decisions at times. They lost their way, sometimes out of survival, sometimes out of choice. They didn’t always follow the right path.

And as is the way of humanity, neither did I. Neither did my sister. Neither did my brother. And our kids are made out of the same stuff. It’s the inherent evil that we are all born into. Some seem to have it worse than others.

We have a proud and selfish streak that runs through us all. And the need to be right, even if it means we’re wrong in the end. I could name them, all the twists and the knots. But I won’t bore you with the details. You’ve seen it all before, no doubt.

A forest of imperfection

Like trees that are borne crooked, we spend a lifetime straightening out the bent wood, forging out a new pattern. It’s not easy. Some never change. The Bible rightly calls it a “a mystery” because it isn’t predicated on good deeds or checking off all the right boxes. It’s a grafting into the perfect tree, the same one that Jesus gulped his last breath on.

There are the doubters. The people who only remember the crooked years and want to point out that their life wasn’t one that hasn’t been straight from the beginning. And the doubters look at me and see the same pattern. I can’t hide. This is who I am. Like a gnarled old tree, it’s the past that makes us beautiful and usable. And God loves to straighten crooked trees.

There are those who think this God stuff is a bunch of mumbo jumbo. Still you are reading because you have tried everything else and you just cant untangle the tree that marks your past. You are a crooked tree born into a family of crooked trees and the pattern is carrying into the next generation.

There’s all kinds of theological words I could throw it to describe this experience. But none of that convinces you. It’s not supposed to be a head experience. It’s supposed to be in your heart and in your life. And somewhere in that unspoken silence you’ll see, you’ll hear and the floodgates will open.

The Grand Legacy

As our small family gathered to pour the ashes into the soil, we all smiled and cried. We spoke memories. We shared hope. My sister planted a few flower bulbs with hopes the snow would water them and then the spring sun would bring them to life, year after year. We want to always see the flowers, knowing the nutrients come from our family.

But really, that crazy tree will outlast all the flowers. It will keep growing past my generation and likely the next. The tree with the history that’s exposed for the world. The tree that’s pointed straight to the heavens.

I think when my days are done, I want my ashes to be sifted into that same soil, the dirt that surrounds the crooked tree.

Uncategorized

Previous Post

October 26, 2017

What's the Point of All of This Contention and Worry?

Next Post

November 5, 2017 This Is What’s to Blame for the Texas Church Massacre

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category " - 2008 2008 GodBlog 9/11 in church 9/11 sermon a different story a life of wonder A Long Obedience in the Same Direction A Long Obedience in the Same Direction: Discipleship in an Instant Society A.W. Tozer ability above average Absenteeism abundance accountability acting adaptable adversity aging Air France Flight 358 Al capone alone amazement ambition american idol American pickers American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009 amy young Ancients and Cain Andromeda Andromeda Galaxy Angela Hough anger animals Anna Jarvis Annie Rupert Anno Domini Annunciation to the shepherds antiques road show Apathy ignorance apologies App Store application Arizona Cardinal Arlo Guthrie artificial intelligence asking for directions Association of Flight Attendants - AFA atheism atheist attitude Authentic Living Authentic Living; purpose B.C. Babysitting bad boss bad boys of the bible bad eggs bad family tree bad news Balance Basketball Bathsheba be content Becky Garrison begging best job in the world Bible Bible Study bigotry billy coffey billy goat christians Billy Graham bin laden death bitterness Blessings blind blind ambition Blindness Blockbuster employee stabs self blogging Boeing Field boldness for Christ bonnie gray born-again Bosses brandee Shafer Brian welch Brite Divinity School Broadway theatre brokenness Broncos Bronze medal Bruce Cockburn bruce wilkinson burned hands Burning bush Business Busyness C.S. Lewis Caiaphas Calling in sick Candy Chang Carpentry casual chains challenge change the world charity singleton Charles Dickens chasing the pure Checking references Chick-fil-A child abuse children children example China Chinese Crested Dog chnage the world christ in the workplace Christian christian cartoonist christian companies christian faith christian living christian politics christian socia Christianity Christianity for Seekers christians in politics Christmas Christmas and the Workplace Christmas Day Christmas depression Christmas lights christmas presents for your boss Christopher Hitchens Chronos church attendance church hypocrisy church marketing class clown Clifton Cafeteria Coffee color blind comeback comfort comfortable living Comic strip Comic Strips and Panels Compassion complaining Compost compromise Confederate States Army consequences Construction and Maintenance Consumer Price Index consumerism consumption Content conversation Conversion of Paul cooking corporate Corrie Ten Boom courage Crayon creation creationism Creator deity credits roll creep of sin Crime and Justice critcism critical nature criticism crops cruel people Culture wars Customer service daffodil Dallas Willard Danger Daniel Dennett Dark Paths darkness darkness and light David David Dark David Platt David Rupert death debt Deception Decisions Declaration of Independence deep fried twinkies Degree day delight demise of the soul Denial Denver Bronco Denver Broncos Denver Nuggets depression Design despair destiny directions dirty work Discipleship discipline disciplne Discovery Channel disobedience Disqualified Divine grace do good to those that wrong you do it again don't give up Dormitory doubt dreamers dreaming. dreamer drown drudgery dumbing down of a nation duty dying dysfunction Earth's origins Earthquake Easter easter cartoon Ecclesiastes Economic collapse economics Economy eddie O'hare Eleanor Rigby Eleanor Roosevelt election results Elijah embracing obscurity emma gray employment end of the world end times endurance ESPN esteem eternity Evangelism evolution example excellence Exclamation mark Excuses Expectations Facebook failure faith faith barista faithfulness falsehood Family farming fast food fatalism Fats Domino Fault Fear not fertile soil fertilizer Fibonacci Fibonacci number Final Harvest finality financial crisis find your way home finding contentment Fire on the mountain fired First-Grade Florida Gator flossing Flower Focus on the Family Follow through fools for Christ Forever 21 Forgiveness forgotten God formal titles formality found Four Spiritual Laws francis chan Francis Schaeffer Francis Thompson Frank Fritz Frank Warren Frankenstein Freedom Freud friendship true Frio River Frost on Tomatoes fruit fulfillment full duty to God fun Furniture Future G.K. Chesterton Garden of Eden Garfunkel GE Aviation Generations and Age Groups genuine faith get up andgo Gethsemane getting along gifts give me a sign give to the poor give up your rights giving credit giving up giving up the good for the great Glory to God goats and sheep God God is my coach God made colors God's faithfulness god's grace God's Refrigerator Godblog Conference 2009 godspotting Gold in Them There Hills Frank Hartford Gold medal Golden Ratio goliath good attitude good boss good name Good News good samaratian Gordon Atkinson Gospel gossip Government government responsibility GPS grace grace happens greatness Greed Greeting card Gregorian Calendar Grief grief loss and bereavement Groundhog Day group writing haiti disaster Hank Aaron happiness happy holidays hard work harold camping Harvest Harvesting heart change Heisman Trophy helen the writer Hell Henry Aaron Henry Wadsworth Longfellow heritage heroes Herschel Space Observatory hide and seek high calling High Calling Blogs History Ho ho ho Holiday greetings holiness Hollywood Los Angeles California Holy Experience Holy Grail Holy Spirit Home honesty Honor hope Hot dog Hound of Heaven how to apologize how to be great Human nature human sociology human trafficking humility humility in the workplace humilty Humor Humour hurt hypocrisy I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day i never knew you if you want to be great ignoring god at work ignoring obvious Image of God Impact Inauguration Information Age insecurity Intelligent design involvement iPad IPhone irritation Is 58:10 Is the glass half empty or half full? Isaiah 58.10 Isolation Israelites Jackson Hole Jean de La Fontaine jeff goins Jeff Johnson Jeffrey Overstreet Jeremiah Jesus jesus at the garage sale jesus heals the blind man jesus the carpenter's son Jet engine JetBlue Airways jewish zealots Jill Phillips job loss joe Pote John john 3.16 john 3:16 John 9 Johnny Hart Johnny Hart Christian johnny hart easter Josh Hamilton Josh McDowell Josh Sankey Joy judgement judgement day Julia Kasdorf just hang on justice Kairos Karate Kid keeping memories kilgore king david KORN Kurt Warner l.l. barkat Labor Day Labor Movement Laity Lodge Lake Tahoe Larry Norman lasting value Laughter Laughter. holy joy Law of Attraction learning from criticism legacy lemon tree Leonardo da Vinci lessons let your yes be yes letting go lies at work life lessons Life liberty and the pursuit of happiness Light pollution LINEAGE Lionel Young live for the moment Living in the past living large living out my faith living sinfully locks Loneliness lonjely Looking for God losing hope losing your way loss and gain lost lost and found lost job love lost love your enemies Lowest common denominator loyalty lyla lindquist made to matter Magnet Malcolm Muggeridge Marcus Goodyear Mark Driscoll Mars Hill Church Martha Mary masculinity material goods materialism matthew henry maturity Max Lucado meaning meaninglessness medicority Mellissa Thomas Memory menial jobs Michael Hyatt mid-life Midas middle life Midland Michigan Mike Yaconelli Milky Way miracles missions mistakes on the job Mobile phone Money moral majority more Mother Mother Teresa mother's love Mothers Mothers Day movies mr. rogers neighborhood muddling Mustard seed my calling my terrible boss mystery Nadzeya Astapchuk nancy franson Napa County California Narcissus (plant) Nativity of Jesus nativity thefts Nayara Goncalves Nene never satisfied never too late New Age New Testament no gain no pain no win Noble lie nonbelievers North Dakota Not Ashamed Nutrient Obama obama 2009 obscurity occupy off course Office office civility old things Olive Garden Olympic Games Olympics Online Communities only Jesus openness with faith opportunity Oprah optimism options Organizations Origins and Creation Osama bin Laden osama killed Oscar Mayer Oswald Chambers out of fashion out of my alleged mind overlooked Pain panhandling Parenting Parthenon partnering with unbelievers party poopers Pascal passion for living passion week Passover Paul paycheck Penance Penitence Perception perceptions of Christans Perserverance Perseverance personal thing pessimism pete wilson Peter petitions Phil Keaggy Philosophy plan b planting Plato Platt play playground political correctness Politics Poor Portland cement possessions Post Office power trip praise Praise and Worship praise of men praiseworthy prayer Prayer for success prayer unanswered preconceptions about God prejudice preparation preparation for death Presidential race pressure price of a cup of coffee Pride private faith procrastinate procrastination Profanity Promotion prophecy protests Public faith Public Square pulling dandelions pumpkins Punctuation Punxsutawney Pennsylvania Punxsutawney Phil Purpose Question mark Quitting work racism Randy Kilgore Ravi Zacharias reaching the invisible read the directions read the instructions Readiness Rearview Mirror Reason reasonable rebellion Recall (memory) recognition recovery red and blue red letter athlete Red Letter Christians Red letter meaning Red Rocks Church redeem redemption Reflections of 2008 reformation Refrigerator regret rejection rejoice Relationships religion Religion and Spirituality Religion in workplace religious accomodation religious fervency renewal Repentance rescue resistance to the gospel Respect rest Retail Retirement Retirement Planning Retreat return to roots revenge revival revolution Rich Stearns Richard Dawkins rick warren right living righteous anger robbery thwarted Robert Jastrow romans 7 Romney Roof Roofer rovider Conscience Regulation Rubble rude Rumble strip sabbath safety Salvation Sam Harris sam van iman Samaritan's Purse San Francisco Giants sandra heska king Sandwich generation sankofa Santa Santa Claus save me from myself save the males savior saying you are sorry Schools and Instruction Scouting Screwtape Letters Seattle Pacific University second place secrets Seed seeds seek and ye shall find seeking God Sehnsucht sehsucht self analysis self denial selfishness selfless Serenity Sermon servant leadership service first Seven Deadly Sins shadows of the past Shana Alexander shanyn silinski sharing sheila lagrand shiny objects Shopping short cuts Short-term memory Sick leave sierra trading post silence Silver medal Simon Simon Garfunkel simple faith simple summer plans simplicity simply darlene sin sin in the family sincerity sink sins of the father slave to Jesus slinkys smartphones Snow day Snow days Snowday social justice Social work Soil Solomon somebody help me Someone's Gotta Go sorrow South Dakota spiritual spiritual stimulus spiritualism spitting Sports and faith St. Louis Rams starting over stay in your house stealthy sin steve taylor Steven Slater stone crossings straight and narrow Stress stubbornness Stuff Christians Like submission to authority suffering Summer plans sunshine Super Bowl super heroes superpowers surprises Surrender survivor Taekwondo Taj Mahal Tale of Two Cities talking to God tax preparation Teaching team buildign Tebow technology isolates temporal testify testimony Texas Texas Hill Country Texas Rangers Thankfulness thanks for job thanks for loss thanksgiving the atheist in me the cross the end of a life the first will be last The fray the future the garden of your mind the gift of pain The Hole in our Gospel the invisible among us the last will be first the least of these the longing the lost coin the next generation The Secret the unbeliever in me the year of our lord Theft think on these things Thomas Jefferson Thomas Nelson Thought tiffany stuart Tiger tiger woods Tim Tebow Time time pressure todd wilkerson Tomato tomorrow Toronto Pearson International Airport tragedy train a child in the way he should go transcendence Transparency Transparencyy treasures treasures that last trophies true faith Trust trust God truth truth matters truth telling tucker barnes Turbulence turkey Turning the other cheek Twitter tyranny of the urgent Unbelief unbelievers Uncategorized undeserving favor unemployment unequally yoked unexpected blessings United States University of Florida unreasonable unresolved anger upheaval Uriah the Hittite using your talents Valentine Valentine Day Valerie Adams Value of work Vanities vengeance virtue Vision vocal faith Vocation voice of ZGod W. Tozer waldo mcburney Wall Street war on christmas Warning label warning sign warning signs Washington wasted life weeds Weight loss weird What do you do when God doesn't show up the way you thought he would What does God Expect of me? what i learned from my first job what to do what's wrong with the world whatever is admirable whatever is lovely whatever is noble whatever is pure whatever is right whatever is true where your treasure is Wienermobile Will it be the winter of despair or the spring of hope will of god William Wordsworth wisdom Witnessing Wittenburg Door Wizard of Id wonder wonder while i wander word and deed Word of the year Words Work work and faith Work and God work ethic work pressure work with passion workplace Workplace faith workplace ministry workplace religious freedom act Workplace Spirituality workplace time balance workplace virtue world changer world meltdown World view World Vision World's Ugliest Dog Contest Worry worship and mother's day worst boss in the world Writers Resources Yale Divinity School Yoda You were born for this your sin will affect others Youth ministry YouTube zombies and christians

Select a Month September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 April 2026 November 2025 August 2025 June 2025 May 2025 March 2025 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 June 2024 May 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 October 2023 September 2023 June 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 September 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What does the Greek word 'Logos' mean in the Bible?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Word Grace Life Truth