It’s a Funny Old World 7

Last updated on: August 12, 2014 at 3:00 pm by David Mills

It’s a Funny Old World 7 2014-08-12T10:56:29-04:00 David Mills

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German men receive one in five of all those done in the world, and more than the total performed in the other nine countries in the top ten combined. Last year eight in every 100,000 German men had penoplasty, which is the surgical lengthening and expansion of the penis, reports the Daily Telegraph, in (I should warn you) a somewhat childishly smutty news story.

The story will entertain Germanophobes. For others it may be a cautionary tale. The writer suggests one reason for this desire for a surgery that makes normal men cringe:

[W]hy is this happening? The answer is a perfect storm of pornography and typical Germanic pragmatism meeting excellent engineering.

The Germans love porn almost as much as they love sauerkraut. They’ve enjoyed a very public love affair with the stuff . . .

Recently, German magazine Der Stern asked Porn Hub — the world’s biggest porn site — to analyse German porn users habits. It turned out the only things that gets in the way of Germans and their porn is Christmas, New Year’s Eve and football — and German men soon surged to Porn Hub to celebrate their recent World Cup victory.

Immediately after the full-time whistle blew, Germans, eager to continue their high, logged onto Porn Hub with a 60 per cent above average surge. They did the same after tonking Brazil 7-1.

“With most of today’s porn being a phallic freak show,” argues the writer, “it stands to reason the more you watch, the more often you’ll be reminded of your own deficiencies.” He may be right, though he is ascribing reasons without any information about the causes, but that “eager to continue their high” is a warning. Pornography changes you — see for example the Witherspoon Institute’s books on The Social Cost of Pornography — even if it doesn’t encourage you to change your body.

It's a funny old world

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