What an engagement ring taught me about love

Last updated on: February 16, 2016 at 3:34 pm by Dave Willis

What an engagement ring taught me about love 2016-02-16T15:34:02-05:00 Dave Willis

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

wedding couple holding hands

I remember the feelings of joy and anticipation when I was ready to purchase an engagement ring for Ashley. I was a college student, and I was poor in a way that only college students can understand. I was broke, but I was in love, and love always finds a way!

Ashley understood my lack of resources and would have happily married me without an engagement ring, but I wanted to give one to her. I realized that this simple piece of jewelry wasn’t just a culturally enforced tradition perpetuated by greedy jewelers; it was an opportunity to express my love and commitment to my future bride in a way that would bring a huge smile to her face. I knew it would also create a tangible reminder of this season of our journey together. In addition to that, it would get me in the habit of self-sacrifice for the sake of my bride, which is a vital habit for any healthy marriage!

After doing some research on the cut and clarity of diamonds, I felt ready to go shopping. It wasn’t long before I was in the mall jewelry story holding the perfect ring. The only problem was that I didn’t have any money! Luckily, they had a layaway program where I could have ninety days to make payments on it, and when the last payment was made, I could come by the store and pick it up.

They say, “A diamond is forever.” I’m not sure if that’s true, but for a long time, I thought the payments would last forever!

Ninety days sounded like a lot of time to my young mind, but a few days in, I hadn’t made any money and I started calculating how much income I’d need to average per day to pay off the ring in time. I knew I needed to take quick action, so I started applying for jobs anywhere I could. The minimum wage I’d been making on campus as part of the landscaping crew wasn’t going to cut it, so I looked for server jobs or sales jobs or anything that might produce more income.

Though it’s not my nature to walk into a place and ask for a job, love had made me fearless! I boldly walked up to one potential employer after another with my résumé in hand, but over and over the answer was “NO”. I was discouraged but undaunted. I weighed my options and pulled out my phone to call up an old friend who managed an electronics store. I wasn’t any good with electronics. In fact, I barely knew how to operate my cell phone (and this was back before the phones were even smart).

I opted not to tell him that I was electronically illiterate and that I had just flunked a personality profile that kept me from getting the previous job (that’s right, you’re reading the blog of a guy who couldn’t even pass a personality profile test). I figured I could get past my technology deficiencies by working hard and leaning heavily on my people skills to make up the difference. I explained that I was highly motivated because I had a limited window of time to pay for a ring for a girl who was way out of my league and I wanted to seal the deal as fast as I could. My friend graciously agreed to give me a shot, and I was on the job the next day.

The learning curve at the new job was even steeper than I had anticipated, but my resolve had never been stronger. I studied harder than I’d studied for any class I’d ever taken in school. I wasn’t just working for a good grade; I was working for my future bride.

I was picturing the smile on her face when I put that ring on her finger. I was imagining her saying, “Yes!” and jumping into my arms. I was picturing the scene of telling our future children and grandchildren the story of how I’d proposed and what her response had been. I was working for much more than just a diamond. I was working for the opportunity to create a timeless moment, a moment that would lead to a lifelong journey with the one I loved.

After hundreds of hours, scores of cell phone sales, dozens of training manuals, and a lot of hard work, I finally had enough money to pay off the ring. On day eighty-eight of the ninety-day layaway, I proudly marched to the cashier of the jewelry store and made my final payment. I ransomed that beautiful little ring and held it in my hands like I’d just climbed on a podium to receive an Olympic gold medal!

It was my prized possession, and I couldn’t wait to give it away. That’s the beautiful irony of love. The only way we can truly keep it is to give it away. The moment I placed that ring on her finger and saw the look on her face, every minute of the work and worry seemed well worth the effort. When we truly love someone, the sacrifices we make feel much more like a privilege than an obligation.

This story is from my new book The Seven Laws of Love: Essential Principles for Building Stronger Relationships. For additional tools to help you build a stronger marriage, check out my new book and also download our new “MarriageApp” on iTunes (a Facebook login is required to use the app).

IF THIS POST ENCOURAGED YOU, PLEASE SHARE IT USING THE LINKS BELOW SO WE CAN ENCOURAGE OTHER TOO.

Inspiration and Encouragement

Marriage

Previous Post

February 16, 2016

3 ways men have affairs

Next Post

February 16, 2016 The key to teaching kids to tell the TRUTH

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Bible Study Family and Parenthood General Inspiration and Encouragement Life Tools Marriage Uncategorized Videos

Select a Month August 2022 May 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What were the first man and woman’s names in the Bible?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Joseph and Mary Jacob and Rachel Samson and Delilah Adam and Eve

Books by This Author Books by Dave Willis

See All Titles »