4 surprising habits of happy couples

Last updated on: March 6, 2014 at 3:08 pm by Dave Willis

4 surprising habits of happy couples 2014-03-06T15:08:12-05:00 Dave Willis

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

In his groundbreaking book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” Stephen Covey identified the traits which consistently cause people to rise from mediocrity to excellence. The book revealed the timeless truth that our daily habits will be what determines the course of our lives.

This idea might sound revolutionary, but it has been around for a long time. It was the Ancient Greek Philosopher Aritstotle who said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit.”

As a student of marriages, I’ve tried to identify what are those “habits” of happy and healthy couples. I’m convinced that there are many more than the few I’ve listed here, but these are some of the most apparent, most important, and frankly, most surprising! If you will implement these into your own marriage, I believe your relationship will instantly improve.

heart hands

Photo courtesy of ShutterStock.com.

1. Happy couples serve each other.

We’re all selfish by nature, and marriage provides plenty of opportunities to be selfish, but happy couples seem to consistently put their spouse’s needs ahead of their own. These acts of mutual service and selflessness raises the level of respect and overall satisfaction. One simple way to start is to do a household or yard chore your spouse normally does or give them a foot or back massage without being asked.

2. Happy couples dream together.

Most couples sleep together, but few couples dream together. Happy couples don’t just have their individual dreams, but they share collective dreams for the future. They always have something they’re working towards and looking forward to. One way to get started is to chart out a list of goals and experiences you’d like to achieve together in the next year.

3. Happy couples are terrible liars.

In marriage, unless you’re throwing a surprise birthday party, there is no room for secrets or lies. Deception creates an invisible barrier which will block your intimacy and growth as a couple. A happy marriage is built on a foundation of trust, honesty and open communication. One simple way to get started is to share all of your email and phone passwords and encourage your spouse to log in whenever they like.

4. Happy couples have a limited vocabulary.

This one doesn’t mean that they’re unintelligent; it means that they’re smart enough to not to use certain words with each other. Happy couples don’t swear at each other and they don’t say the grandaddy of all “cuss words” in marriage which is the D-Word (“Divorce”). They don’t insult each other and they don’t make threats. They’ve discovered that the tone of their words will set the tone of the marriage. One way to get started is to instantly apologize the next time you say something hurtful or disrespectful and commit to never threatening divorce as an option.

To master these and the other habits of happy couples, I encourage you to watch our (now FREE) video teaching series The 4 Pillars of a Strong Marriage and check out our bestselling book iVow: Secrets to a Stronger Marriage.

Marriage

Previous Post

February 28, 2014

7 reasons why marriage still matters

Next Post

March 14, 2014 How to invest into your relationships.

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Bible Study Family and Parenthood General Inspiration and Encouragement Life Tools Marriage Uncategorized Videos

Select a Month August 2022 May 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What do the "Weeping Prophet" and "Book of Lamentations" refer to?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Daniel Ezekiel Jeremiah Isaiah

Books by This Author Books by Dave Willis

See All Titles »