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Is Celibacy “Superior” to Marriage in Some Sense?

Is Celibacy “Superior” to Marriage in Some Sense?

Last updated on: July 25, 2024 at 7:58 pm by Dave Armstrong

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Is Celibacy “Superior” to Marriage in Some Sense? 2024-07-25T19:58:27-04:00 Dave Armstrong

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Yours truly with my beautiful wife Judy (July 2012)

Reformed Baptist Gavin Ortlund stated in his video, “Clerical Celibacy: A Protestant Critique” (7-14-24) at 2:16:

. . . related to that the concern is a conception of celibacy as intrinsically more excellent than marriage in its nature as opposed to just a more fitting and expedient arrangement according to God’s calling.

First of all, I fully agree that God’s calling is paramount. We all must follow the vocation that God has for us. Vocation isn’t relevant only to priests and nuns, pastors and missionaries. St. Paul writes: “let every one lead the life which the Lord has assigned to him, and in which God has called him” (1 Cor 7:17, RSV) and “each has his own special gift from God, one of one kind and one of another” (1 Cor 7:7). I believe I have been called to be an apologist, and I have followed that calling since 1981. I was also called to be married, as indicated by a very happy marriage that will be forty years in length this October.
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That said, and agreed with, now I submit that voluntary, heroic, self-sacrificing celibacy for the sake of the kingdom, has aspects about it that make it “better” in some sense than marriage, which we also regard as holy and indeed a sacrament (meaning, that it gives grace). Protestants don’t regard it as a sacrament. We — and the Orthodox — do that. We even regard their marriages (if there is no defect of form; former Catholics or divorcees, etc.) as sacramental. The same Paul also wrote the following:

1 Corinthians 7:7-8 (RSV) I wish that all were as I myself am. . . . [8] To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain single as I do.
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1 Corinthians 7:28 . . . those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.
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1 Corinthians 7:32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord;
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1 Corinthians 7:34 . . . And the unmarried woman or girl is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit; . . .
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1 Corinthians 7:35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
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1 Corinthians 7:38 So that he who marries his betrothed does well; and he who refrains from marriage will do better.
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1 Corinthians 7:40 . . . in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. . . .

Note that every time Paul makes a general one-on-one comparison, he states that singleness or celibacy is “better” (1 Cor 7:38). Why? It’s never the opposite. There must be something to that, no? He does say, “it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion” (1 Cor 7:9), but that’s a different comparison (i.e., longing for marriage and sexual desire vs. being married, where both can be properly fulfilled. Paul explains exactly what he means, earlier in the same verse: “if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry” (cf. 7:36).

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There is also the aspect of heroic renunciation of things good in and of themselves for the sake of the kingdom. Those who do that are in a higher state, so to speak, than those who don’t. They are going “above and beyond.” St. Paul did this, not only in being single, but voluntary undertaking all of his sufferings. He wrote about it:

2 Corinthians 11:5, 12, 16, 23-28, 30 I think that I am not in the least inferior to these superlative apostles. . . . [12] And what I do I will continue to do, in order to undermine the claim of those who would like to claim that in their boasted mission they work on the same terms as we do. . . . [16] . . . I too may boast a little. . . . [23] Are they servants of Christ? I am a better one — I am talking like a madman — with far greater labors, far more imprisonments, with countless beatings, and often near death. [24] Five times I have received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. [25] Three times I have been beaten with rods; once I was stoned. Three times I have been shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been adrift at sea; [26] on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brethren; [27] in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. [28] And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure upon me of my anxiety for all the churches. . . . [30] If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness.

1 Corinthians 9:5, 15 Do we not have the right to be accompanied by a wife, as the other apostles and the brothers of the Lord and Cephas? . . . [15] But I have made no use of any of these rights, . . .

That’s a heroic, saintly lifestyle. That is far relatively “better” in a spiritual sense than a life, say, like mine, where I do what I passionately love all day, writing apologetics at my desk (with heat or air conditioning and a nice comfy chair), ride my electric bike or Jet-Ski, travel for fun, listen to music, hike in the woods with my wife, swim in my backyard pool, visit with children and grandchildren and friends, watch good movies and documentaries, etc. None of that is “bad” but it’s not as good as what Paul did. And that’s because he was — by his own choice and calling — following what Catholics call the evangelical counsels. I’m not. Likewise, there is a real and true sense in which voluntary celibacy is better than marriage. Paul expressly said so. Who are we to disagree? Jesus said the same about the lifestyle His disciples willingly chose (including, in several cases celibacy or significant, sacrificial willing separation from an existing wife or other family members:

Luke 18:28-30 And Peter said, “Lo, we have left our homes and followed you.” [29] And he said to them, “Truly, I say to you, there is no man who has left house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, [30] who will not receive manifold more in this time, and in the age to come eternal life.”

Matthew 19:27-29 Then Peter said in reply, “Lo, we have left everything and followed you. What then shall we have?” [28] Jesus said to them, “Truly, I say to you, in the new world, when the Son of man shall sit on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. [29] And every one who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life. (cf. 19:12)

Therefore, the Council of Trent in 1563 (24th Session: Canon X on the Sacrament of Matrimony) was merely reiterating Jesus’ and Paul’s teaching above, when it decreed that no one should say “that the marriage state is to be placed above the state of virginity, or of celibacy, and that it is not better and more blessed to remain in virginity, or in celibacy, than to be united in matrimony.” It’s not good to contradict the words of Jesus and Paul in the inspired and inerrant revelation of Holy Scripture (we can all agree).

I’d love to hear Gavin’s reply to this argument, but he has chosen — with one lone exception — to not interact with me at any length (citing time factors and priorities). Oh well . . .perhaps someone who holds his opinion will interact.
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For related reading, see my article, “Evangelical Counsels & Monasticism (Vs. Calvin #33)” (1-26-19). I also have many articles about priestly celibacy on my Church web page (section: “Clerical Celibacy”: fourth from the end).

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Summary: I contend from St. Paul’s arguments in 1 Corinthians 7, and the biblical “evangelical counsels” that there is a sense in which voluntary celibacy is superior to marriage.

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