An academic joke

Last updated on: June 3, 2019 at 1:24 pm by Dan Peterson

An academic joke 2019-06-03T13:24:20-06:00 Dan Peterson

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Jerusalem, as seen from the Mount of Olives (Wikimedia Commons public domain image)

My friend and former Maxwell Institute colleague Matt Roper recently shared the following “faculty joke,” which I think I’ll share further:

One day while walking downtown, a young college professor with a newly minted Ph.D. was hit by a bus and was tragically killed. Her soul arrived up in Heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

“Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never had a college professor make it this far and we’re not really sure what to do with you.” “No problem, just let me in” said the woman. “Well, I’d like to, but I have orders. What we’re going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose where you want to spend eternity” the Saint replied. “Actually, I think I’ve made up my mind . . . I prefer to stay in Heaven.” “Sorry, we have rules . . .” And with that, St. Peter put the scholar in an elevator and it went down-down-down to Hell.

The doors opened and the scholar found herself stepping out into a beautiful seminar room. Down the hall was a lavishly decorated lounge, complete with a small but useful reference library. Standing in front of her were all her former colleagues, a veritable Who’s Who of the collegial world, all cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They had marvelous scientific discussions about genetic engineering, human cloning and the ethical issues associated with their potential applications. Then they retired to the faculty club for an excellent steak and lobster dinner with the best wine she had ever tasted. She met the Devil, who was actually a really nice guy. And although he was a theorist, he showed a real interest in her work. They talked and joked into the wee hours of the morning. The professor was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she got on the elevator. The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates where St. Peter was waiting for her.

“Now it’s time to spend a day in Heaven,” he said. So the professor spent the next 24 hours lounging around on the clouds – playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and before she knew it, her 24 hours were up. St. Peter came to her and said, “So, you’ve spent a day in Hell and you’ve spent a day in Heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,” he said.

The young professor paused for a second and then replied, “Well, I never thought I’d say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell.”

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again the scholar went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened, she found herself standing on a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw that her colleagues were dressed in rags and were picking up garbage and putting it in sacks for the evening meal. They barely paused in their work long enough to grumble and tell her that they thought her research was second rate. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her and laughed at her. “I don’t understand,” she stammered, “yesterday I was here and there was a library and a faculty club and we ate lobster, drank fine wine, talked about my research and had a great time. Now, all that’s here is a wasteland of garbage and all my colleagues look miserable and hate me.”

The Devil looked at her and grinned. “That’s because yesterday we were interviewing you, but today you are faculty.”

Posted from Jerusalem, Israel

Uncategorized

Previous Post

June 3, 2019

"The Lives of Abraham"

Next Post

June 3, 2019 "The Temple: A Multi-Faceted Center and Its Problems"

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Uncategorized

Select a Month November 2026 October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 March 2014 August 2013 February 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What does "Lo-debar" mean in Hebrew?

Select your answer to see how you score.

The Lord’s land The chosen city Valley of rest No pasture