“Why Millennials are Lonely”

Last updated on: February 26, 2017 at 10:15 am by Dan Peterson

“Why Millennials are Lonely” 2017-02-26T10:15:45-07:00 Dan Peterson

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This was, to me, a fascinating article:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-gen-y-guide/201702/why-millennials-are-lonely

I found myself wondering whether the phenomenon is related — as either cause or effect or some combination of the two — to the rise of the religious “nones,” and to the increasing number of those (especially of the younger generation) who are disaffiliated from communities of worship and, indeed, from communities altogether.

I also found myself thinking of the ex-Mormon message boards that I’ve seen, where people who, by and large, have never actually met each other create ersatz “communities.” Every Sunday, so far as I can tell, one of the atheistic apostate boards that I check in on features a thread in which participants boast of all the wonderful things they’re supposedly doing instead of attending “the so-called Church.” One of the things that they’re clearly doing, however, is sitting alone at home, typing messages on their computers to virtual strangers who share their bitterness and alienation. (Quite often, their comments involve contemptuous descriptions of the “Mor(m)ons” — not uncommonly their spouses, parents, and/or children — who’re away at church services. Moreover, as far as I can see, there’s also a Friday thread about what everybody’s drinking that weekend. I’ve wondered whether that discussion might be inadvertently rather revealing.)

Anyway, I’ll shortly be off, interacting with a community of people with whom — over, now, quite a few years — we’ve shared a great deal of fun, a fair amount of work, quite a bit of serious conversation and mutual service, and some sorrow. I scarcely regret it.

I wish that he hadn’t tossed in the reference about passing a “pipe” around, but, otherwise, John Denver’s “Poems, Prayers, and Promises” — I confess a bit guiltily that I like several of his songs — capture something of my feeling about belonging to an actual community of real people, not merely one of embittered strangers on a message board:

I’ve been lately thinking
About my life’s time
All the things I’ve done
And how it’s been
And I can’t help believing
In my own mind
I know I’m gonna hate to see it end

I’ve seen a lot of sunshine
Slept out in the rain
Spent a night or two all on my own
I’ve known my lady’s pleasures
Had myself some friends
And spent a time or two all on my own

And I have to say it now
It’s been a good life all in all
It’s really fine
To have a chance to hang around
And lie there by the fire
And watch the evening tire
While all my friends and my old lady
Sit and pass the pipe around

And talk of poems and prayers and promises
And things that we believe in
How sweet it is to love someone
How right it is to care
How long it’s been since yesterday
And what about tomorrow
And what about our dreams
And all the memories we share

The days they pass so quickly now
Nights are seldom long
And time around me whispers when it’s cold
The changes somehow frighten me
Still I have to smile
It turns me on to think of growing old
For though my life’s been good to me
There’s still so much to do
So many things my mind has never known
I’d like to raise a family
I’d like to sail away
And dance across the mountains on the moon

I have to say it now
It’s been a good life all in all
It’s really fine
To have the chance to hang around
And lie there by the fire
And watch the evening tire
While all my friends and my old lady
Sit and pass the pipe around

And talk of poems and prayers and promises
And things that we believe in
How sweet it is to love someone
How right it is to care
How long it’s been since yesterday
What about tomorrow
What about our dreams
And all the memories we share

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