{"id":2775,"date":"2015-03-19T14:34:54","date_gmt":"2015-03-19T21:34:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/dannyfisher\/?p=2775"},"modified":"2015-03-25T09:20:55","modified_gmt":"2015-03-25T16:20:55","slug":"onquittingthings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/dannyfisher\/2015\/03\/onquittingthings\/","title":{"rendered":"On Quitting Things (Including This Blog)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cThe main thing I have done in the way of news since I last wrote was to quit the university\u2026 It\u2019s a relief. I get disillusioned at a pace just short of geological, but I finally saw undeniably that, aside from my \u2018reputation,\u2019 the university had no use for me, and that, aside from the library and two or three people, I had no use for it. It and I are going in perfectly opposite directions \u2014 which means we\u2019re bound to meet again, doesn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/em> \u2014 Wendell Berry in a letter to Gary Snyder, dated January 14, 1978; reproduced in\u00a0Distant Neighbors: The Selected Letters of Wendell Berry and Gary Snyder<\/a>\u00a0<\/em>(Counterpoint Press, 2014), ed. Chad Wriglesworth, pg. 28<\/p>\n

\u2013<\/p>\n

It\u2019s old news at this point, but I never really came right out and declared it in blog form: I don\u2019t work for University of the West anymore. In January of 2014, I resigned both the Chairmanship of the Buddhist<\/a> Chaplaincy Department and my tenured Associate Professor position at the institution. My last day was June 13th, 2014 \u2014 about nine months\u00a0ago now.<\/p>\n

Up to now, I\u2019ve not felt that\u00a0there was really much (if anything at all) to say publicly about this. I\u2019ve become increasingly\u00a0aware, however, that just leaving it at that only stokes curiosity;\u00a0people have asked and continue to ask me for further explanation. It also feels somewhat necessary to talk about now, in addressing the\u00a0future of this blog. So, for the sake of anyone who\u2019s interested, I\u2019ll try to make myself understood. I can\u2019t promise it will be as interesting as the many fine essays\u00a0in the burgeoning canon\u00a0of writing\u00a0by others\u00a0who have chosen to leave academia (known as \u201cI Quit Lit\u201d<\/a>), but I\u2019ll try.<\/p>\n

The first thing to say is that the decision to leave UWest was a\u00a0pro<\/em>active one, and not a\u00a0re<\/em>active one: there was no inciting incident, no explosive event, no unresolvable wedge between myself and other parties, no simmering resentments boiled over, nothing of that sort. So if you\u2019re hoping for indiscreet tales of acrimony in higher education, you will be disappointed and ought to check out now and read something else.<\/p>\n

The primary reasons that my incredible wife Stephanie\u00a0and I decided to depart from UWest were:<\/p>\n

1. \nOur desire to be closer to our families (on the eastern side of the continent).<\/strong> During my time at UWest, I lost a beloved grandmother and a beloved uncle. I was the only family member who couldn\u2019t be with them when they died, because of the distance. That has weighed heavily on me. In addition, members of both my immediate family and Steph\u2019s have dealt with health crises that we couldn\u2019t be particularly helpful with, again because of distance. This has weighed heavily on both of us. We also recently became the\u00a0uncle and aunt of a preternaturally brilliant and breathtakingly\u00a0beautiful little girl, and we want to be a regular part of her life.\u00a0Living in Los Angeles long-term just wasn\u2019t going to work for us.<\/li>\n****Our wish to work independently, as our own bosses.<\/strong> This one\u2019s pretty straightforward. We\u2019ve both put in a lot of time working for organizations, and are eager to work on our own in more of an entrepreneurial fashion. We\u2019re ready, and now is a good time to try our hands at it \u2014 neither one of us is getting any younger here!<\/li>\nOur interest in doing\u00a0different kinds of work altogether.<\/strong>\u00a0(More on this in a bit\u2026)<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n*
   ** All of that said, I\u2019ve been working in higher education for my entire adult life, so obviously something shifted for me at some point as well, right? Family and friends\u00a0know the score when you work in academia, and that you can\u2019t always choose where you work, right? I worked hard and earned tenure \u2014 I wouldn\u2019t\u00a0have given\u00a0that up unless I really felt like I couldn\u2019t find what I was looking for in academia, right? There must not have been especially compelling reasons for me\u00a0to stay, right?<\/p>\n
   ** Sure. Yup. Yes. Right. Things have changed.\u00a0Walking away was not as difficult a decision for me to come to as it once might have been. While nothing drove me away, nothing really made me want to stay either. As with Wendell Berry, it has simply gotten to the point where the academy and I have \u201cno use\u201d for each other anymore, and I\u2019m aware that we\u2019re \u201cgoing in perfectly opposite directions.\u201d<\/p>\n
   ** *Only a small bit of this has had anything to do with UWest in particular.\u00a0Like any other college or university, it has its share of quirks: for those of you keeping score at home, in the decade preceding my departure the school went\u00a0through (count \u2019em) five presidents and one interim president, which should\u00a0tell you a lot about where the institution is (and isn\u2019t) organizationally-speaking. But truth be told, every place has its dysfunctional aspects as well as its prideworthy ones (and UWest sure has\u00a0a hell of a lot\u00a0of the latter).<\/p>\n

   Many of the things that have made me feel most at odds with the academy are reflected at the places I\u2019ve worked, but are by no means endemic to them. These include (but are not limited to) things like the \u201ccorporatization of higher education\u201d<\/a>,\u00a0and the attendant issue of how\u00a0colleges and universities are\u00a0overindulging and overspending<\/a>\u00a0on\u00a0administrators and their staff, often at the expense<\/a> of nurturing and growing their teaching faculty;\u00a0the<\/a> adjunct<\/a> faculty<\/a> crisis<\/a>\u00a0(which has spawned a movement<\/a>\u00a0you\u2019ve probably heard about at this point); the problem for full-timers of establishing and maintaining healthy\u00a0boundaries<\/a>\u00a0and focusing<\/a> on teaching when departments are not adequately staffed; inefficient organizational cultures that add to professors\u2019 already long hours with too many meetings<\/a>; overwrought and counter-productive<\/a>\u00a0outcomes-based<\/a> assessment<\/a>\u00a0processes<\/a> (a\u00a0friend of mine at another institution got it exactly right when he said\u00a0\u201csome assessment is important, of course, but when something that is supposed to improve our relationships with our students\u00a0only\u00a0ends up improving our relationships with our computer screens, it\u2019s time to rethink\u201d);\u00a0the questionably\u00a0\u201csteep discounting\u201d<\/a> of tuition at private colleges, who are trying to keep up with the public universities;\u00a0\u201cgrowing<\/a> threats<\/a>\u201d\u00a0to<\/a> academic<\/a> freedom<\/a>; and, of course, the horrific\u00a0student debt<\/a> crisis<\/a>.<\/p>\n

   In short, many of the problems of contemporary higher education have become difficult to reconcile with my own values. (And, yes,\u00a0sorry to burst any bubbles, but these are the problems of Buddhist and Buddhist-inspired colleges and universities as much as any other accredited institutions of higher learning \u2014 they\u2019re no different on those scores.) So, academia and I are\u00a0going in opposite directions right now, though, as Mr. Berry says, that \u201cmeans we\u2019re bound to meet again, doesn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

   But I digress.<\/p>\n

   As I indicated\u00a0above, I\u2019ve also been feeling pulled\u00a0in new directions for some time. With stalwart support and gentle encouragement from my absolutely wonderful and astoundingly patient wife, I\u2019ve decided\u00a0to stop\u00a0resisting their pull.\u00a0Long story short,\u00a0I\u2019m now working towards a Certificate in Documentary Arts at the Center for Documentary Studies at Duke University<\/a>. There I\u2019m beginning to learn how to marry my social concerns with my love of writing and other arts in a way that not only feels incredibly meaningful to me, but makes me happy as well.<\/p>\n

   So what does this mean\u00a0about\u00a0my relationship to Buddhism<\/a> and work around it?\u00a0To be honest, I\u2019m not sure what to say here \u2014 in part because, on this particular front, I\u2019ve come (and am coming) to realizations much more slowly. What I can say is that at this point in my life, I identify most with the teachings of more\u00a0radical Buddhist thinkers, such as Dr. B.R. Ambedkar, Ajahn Sulak Sivaraksa, and my friends at the Buddhist Peace Fellowship<\/a>. \u201cMorality is Dhamma and Dhamma is Morality,\u201d Dr. Ambedkar writes in his masterwork The Buddha and His Dhamma<\/em><\/a>. \u201cMorality is the essence of Dhamma. Without it there is no Dhamma.\u201d I agree, and further think that folks like Ajahn Sulak and the BPFers have offered us the most relevant and profound ways of thinking about how to act from this wisdom and challenge the\u00a0frequently harmful\u00a0status quo: consider, for example, Ajahn Sulak\u2019s way of understanding the practice of the five precepts<\/a>, or the BPF\u2019s racial justice toolkit<\/a>.<\/p>\n

   I can also say, as I have before at this<\/a> blog<\/a>, that I relate\u00a0to\u00a0those who\u00a0find too many\u00a0teachings and activities emanating from what we might call the\u00a0North American Buddhist \u201cmainstream\u201d to be\u00a0\u201cbourgeois\u201d<\/span><\/a>; reifying attitudes and beliefs that lead to both \u201cprivileged complacency\u201d<\/a> and many Buddhist communities being\u00a0\u201cabsent\u201d<\/span><\/a>\u00a0from direct service efforts; actively \u201cpushing<\/span><\/a>\u201d\u00a0the \u201cultimate liberative goal of the Buddha\u2019s teaching\u201d to the sidelines in favor of a \u201c\u2018feel good about yourself\u2019 version of Buddhism\u201d;\u00a0\u201crefashioning\u201d<\/span><\/a> the teachings so that they actually reinforce \u201cthe unwholesome roots of greed, ill will and delusion\u201d; \u201cgentrifying<\/a> the Dharma\u201d; and developing little more than an \u201cUpper-Middle Way\u201d<\/a>.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

   Even within the world of Buddhist caregiving and counseling, I\u2019ve had\u00a0some critiques about how we tend to do things: at the Eco-Dharma Conference and Retreat<\/a> this past summer, I found myself nodding vigorously when David Loy noted (to a crowd that really should have been a lot bigger) that North American Buddhists tend to be\u00a0\u201cquite good at rescuing\u00a0people from drowning in the river, but not so good at asking how they got there in the first place.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

   The North American Buddhist \u201cmainstream\u201d does\u00a0not represent every\u00a0Buddhist, to be quite sure, but their emphases and messages certainly dominate space and\/or time in our English-language\u00a0books and magazines, large gatherings and conferences, popular understanding, and so on. That may be changing, thanks to the Herculean efforts of critics and radical Buddhists like those I\u2019ve mentioned, but\u2026right now I just find myself longing for communities where the things that are values and priorities for me are\u00a0more the rule than the exception.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

   So now, much like my\u00a0pal\u00a0Joshua Eaton<\/a> (who has been both an inspiration and really such an amazing friend to me during my process of discernment), I\u2019m\u2026taking a sabbatical, I guess. I\u2019m stepping back from the Buddhist community, and we\u2019ll just see what happens. I\u2019m grateful for all I\u2019ve learned up to this point; am certainly not saying goodbye to my dear Buddhist friends and loved ones;\u00a0and\u00a0suspect that, like Joshua, I\u2019ll be\u00a0keeping an eye on the Buddhist world and writing a bit about it here and there. But, for right now, anyway,\u00a0I\u2019m taking my energies and efforts\u00a0elsewhere.<\/p>\n

   All this in mind, it has seemed clear\u00a0to me for a while that it would be best to turn a few things over to others \u2014 not just\u00a0the Buddhist Chaplaincy Department at UWest (now in the very capable hands of my colleagues Dr. Victor Gabriel and Dr. Tina Jitsujo Gauthier), but also this blog.<\/p>\n

   Yes, I\u2019m stepping down here as well. I\u2019ve loved working for Patheos and sure have appreciated the platform\u2019s ability to broadcast my thoughts out to an awful lot of people, but going forward I think\u00a0this space should be used by someone(s) with something more on-topic to say. (Maybe even\u00a0a woman<\/a> for a change?)<\/p>\n

   I\u2019d like to extend my thanks to everyone at Patheos, past and present,\u00a0and to you, the readers. Thank you all for making my time here such a remarkable\u00a0learning opportunity and a great deal\u00a0of fun. You\u2019re all the best.<\/p>\n

   If you\u2019re interested in keeping up with me from here on out,\u00a0bookmark danielclarksonfisher.com<\/a><\/strong>, follow me on Twitter at @danielcfisher<\/a>, friend me on Facebook<\/a>, or follow me on Instagram at @danielclarksonfisher<\/a>.<\/p>\n

   <\/a><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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