Happy Birthday Dad

Last updated on: February 23, 2014 at 7:00 am by Dave Griffey

Happy Birthday Dad 2014-02-23T07:00:00-04:00 Dave Griffey

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Dad as I’ll always try to remember him, c. 1981

Today would have been my Dad’s 84th birthday. Unfortunately, his life was cut short by Alzheimer’s and a negligent nursing home. We’ll see about the nursing home. Prayerfully they can find something to stop that dread disease from claiming others as it has so many. Nonetheless, I do miss him. I missed him during those years of decline when, in so many ways, he ceased being the man I knew.

True, once he had his heart attack in 1988, he was never the same. They say that changes a person. He changed then. In some ways, for the better. He loosened up, became more affectionate, a little more silly. But also more temperamental. More stubborn. It was tougher to reason with him (not that he was ever known for just giving in).

By the late 90s, however, something was clearly wrong. We would visit from Louisville. While there, we would tell old stories. You know, the same ones over and over that families tell. Nothing new there. Each visit would see us retelling the same stories. But suddenly, Dad began retelling the ones we had already told during that same visit. Soon, he was repeating stories from the same day.

Then he began to make mistakes, or forget things that were important. Sadly, we still didn’t put it together. My Grandma on my Mom’s side had similar problems, and we just attributed it to old age, and a stroke that she had. By the early 00s, Dad’s diabetes began playing havoc, and he had several low sugar attacks. Anyone who’s ever seen that knows what I’m talking about.

From that point, it went down from there. Unfortunately, my sister, whose husband (who recently passed away from cancer) was financially well off, was hit with sudden economic ruin. Her husband’s business partner did what too many business partners have done throughout the ages. And, in fairness, he made some pretty bad (read: stupid) financial decisions. By 2009, they were forced to sell everything. My parents, who had always lived near my sister, had to move several different times. Anyone familiar with Alzheimer’s knows that sort of constant upheaval is bad.

My Mom, Dad and Sister and her husband moved down to where we are. But things just fell apart. My Mom couldn’t watch him anymore. We had to put him in a nursing home. At first things went well. For the first couple weeks. But he was too far gone to stay in the part of the nursing home for self sufficient patients. They moved him back to the high level care ward. And then, within a couple weeks, he was gone. Neglect mostly. Not that he wouldn’t have died. But when we saw him just before he did, in soiled clothes, weight loss, dehydration, we knew he was being neglected. We immediately began preparation to move him, but too late. I saw him on Wednesday and realized he had to be moved. By Sunday morning, April 3, 2011, after being rushed to the hospital on Friday morning, he was gone.

I sometimes feel like we let him down. For all he did for us, we just weren’t there for him. Still, there isn’t much without hindsight to do differently. I hate it now. I miss him, and hate that his end came the way it did. Naturally, the nursing home is part of a major corporation and we can’t do a thing. So all we can do at this point is remember. Try to remember happier times. Times before his passing. Times before that wicked disease had stripped away everything that defined who my Dad was. I know the Church teaches that suffering is just one of those things. That’s easier said than done. The non-human initiated suffering of people has long since been the one fly in the theological ointment. For all the thousands of years of contemplating, all we can ultimately says is some philosophical or academic version of ‘let go and let God.’ Ultimate faith I guess.

As for the rest of my blogging? That is still in the works. Our computer is still down, and our current financial conditions are such that getting it fixed or replaced is right behind that new yacht we’ve been looking for. But I wasn’t going to let Dad’s birthday go by. I’ve missed several milestones, and quite frankly, blogging itself is starting to lose a certain luster, one because of the nature of the blogosphere (including, alas, the Catholic blogosphere), and two, because of the change in my life’s fortune, and the pretty solid sound of that door of ministry opportunity shutting in our diocese. So where I’ll be? Can’t say. But I can say I miss you Dad. Through it all, I’d give anything to have you here to have just a final hug, a final goodbye, to hear you say once more to ‘take care of those boys.’ I hope I do. I hope, in the end, I’ll do half as good a job of that as you did taking care of me. Rest in peace, and may God’s angels hasten you to be in His presence forever.

Uncategorized

Previous Post

January 27, 2014

Our Catholic Conversion and where things stand

Next Post

April 18, 2014 The Catholic Church and Me

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Abortion Atheism Awesome things Bigotry for the hip American Blogging Books Catholic Catholic Teaching Catholics on the Internet Christian Persecution Christian Unity Christianity and America Christianity in the Post-Modern World Christianity in the world Culture of Death Culture of Life Current Events Decline and Fall of the Christian West Defending Liberty Fun Stuff Global Warming Good Causes Good News Gun Control Health Care History Holidays Homeschool Humor Important things Inspiring Stories Interesting Insights Interesting Stories Islam and the West Liberal "Tolerance" Liberal observations Life in a post-Christian world Memorial Movies Musings News Other Blogs Our Big Politically Correct Bother Politics Popular Culture Post Modern Values Prayers Pro Life Promoting LGBT Protecting Liberty Racism in the world today Scientism Social Observations Sports Strange Stories The Boys The Catholic Church and the Left The Decline and Fall of the American Dream The end of liberty The Faith and the Left The Faith and the Right The Family The Greatness of God The Internet The Leftist Juggernaut The LGBT Question The Media The Pope The post-liberal Left The Power of Propaganda Tributes Twilight of the American Experiment Uncategorized Uneducating Postmoderns When the Church is wrong Why learn from history when we can repeat it instead Wisdom in the Post Modern Age World Events

Select a Month August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

I am a book of sermons and laws, Moses' final words before entering the Promised Land. What book am I?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Deuteronomy Moses' testimony The second law The law