Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Cultivating Glory

Home
General Christian
Why We Must Cultivate Memory Like Soil

Why We Must Cultivate Memory Like Soil

Last updated on: May 28, 2019 at 11:11 am by Christie Purifoy

Why We Must Cultivate Memory Like Soil 2019-05-28T11:11:17-04:00 Christie Purifoy

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Toward the end of our Memorial Day gathering, I walked with a few friends down the long length of our driveway.

We used our cellphones as flashlights, but when the little child in our midst pointed out the very first firefly of the season, we turned off our phones. At first we paused, the way forward lost in total darkness, but soon more fireflies, the neighbor’s sporadic fireworks, and the glow of a thunderstorm on the horizon softened the edges of the night.

We walked on.

Our destination was the red oak tree we planted two-and-a-half years ago. When we planted it that fall, it was about six feet tall. Maybe a little less. I suppose it was almost exactly the height of the man we had lost the previous January in a military helicopter crash off the coast of Oahu.

I wanted his children to have a living, growing reminder of their Dad here at a house that is a second home to them. I wanted my nieces and my nephews–and everyone who had loved this loving man–to watch grief grow into something beautiful.

As I write in my recent book Placemaker:

Loss is painful, sometimes catastrophic, but like some terrible, black soil, it also has the potential to bear exquisite fruit. Childhood memories grow roses. Adult sorrows grow oak trees. Something or someone precious crashes through the canopy of the forest, and there is death. But, then. Then! There is an upsurge of life. What happens next? That is the hope-filled question I am learning to ask. What astonishingly beautiful thing happens next?

And as my widowed sister testifies so well, so many beautiful things have happened that we find it easier every day to believe they will go on happening.

But we must tend the soil.

If this red oak tree is to flourish, I need to clear the weeds at its base, keep a wire cage around its young trunk to protect from curious deer, and bring water during times of drought. This fall, I will lay down a blanket of well-rotted mushroom compost.

We must also tend our memories.

Of course, it is so much easier to forget. It is so much easier to stop telling the stories, the ones that make us cry but even the ones that make us laugh.

There is a double-edge to the fact that we lost this good and kind man because of military service. Memorial Day is added to the litany of other hard days (birthday, anniversary, Father’s Day). Yet one more day for disciplined, active remembering is also a gift. It is, I suppose, a severe mercy, a good blessing that is, like so many blessings, also hard to receive.

Memory is a burden and memory is a blessing, and how glad I am that we planted a portion of our burden in the ground.

Our tree is now twenty feet tall. A burden grown into shade and shelter.

A burden grown beautiful.

Previous Post

May 21, 2019

The High Price of Living Life in a Hurry

Next Post

June 1, 2019 It is Time to Taste and See

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category autumn Beauty Books Food Garden Glory Grace Grief Lent links peace Placemaker prayer Roots and Sky Spring Summer Uncategorized Winter

Select a Month November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What queen visited Solomon to test his wisdom?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Queen of Sheba Queen of Tyre Queen of Egypt Queen Esther