Supporting Your Asian-American Neighbors: Reflections from My Experiences

Last updated on: March 22, 2021 at 9:35 pm by Nijay Gupta

Supporting Your Asian-American Neighbors: Reflections from My Experiences 2021-03-22T21:35:45-08:00 Nijay Gupta

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

When I heard about the Atlanta shooting, honestly I didn’t even want to read about it. I care, I do, but I am exhausted. Everyday, more bad news. More guns, more violence, more hatred, nothing changes. We exchange words, we say “justice now,” and nothing changes. Yes, I am numb, I am bitter, I am tired. What can I say that will change anything? Maybe nothing. But saying nothing also does nothing. So, here are some of my reflections; they are my experiences, but I hope you might find something here that is helpful for you on your journey to help create a safer and more generous world.

The first incidence of racism I remember experiencing was when my family went on holiday in Europe when I was in middle school. My dad sprung for a fancy room in a nice hotel, but when we arrived I remember hearing him arguing with the front desk (we had lots of bags with us because were going to go on to India after Europe). Next thing I knew, we were leaving because they “lost” our reservation. That was it, no hotel. Odd, because that literally never happened to us in America. Ever.

The first time I experienced racism was in high school. We took a Latin club trip (yes, I was in the Latin club) to Italy. In Rome, some of the food vendors would not serve me because I looked like a gypsy (they said). This happened to me later on when I was doing missionary work in Eastern Europe. I was with a group of Americans (almost all white). We would order at a restaurant. Everyone else’s food would show up. My food would not. At first I thought it was a coincidence. Then the “coincidence” kept happening. So eventually I gave up and had one of my white friends order themselves two meals.

I could go on and on. There are no quick solutions to these problems. One person can’t make this go away. But if we all make an effort to do the right thing, we can make it better.

Here are some off-the-cuff advice, take it or leave it, from my experience.

What can my neighbors and friends do to support the Asian Americans around them?

Learn our names, Pronounce them correctly

Names are so important. It’s a key part of who we are, often times our heritage and family. My very first job was at K-Mart. My boss couldn’t pronounce my name (so he said) so he changed it. “I’m gonna call you ‘Jay’.” So he did. And I just sucked it up, because, hey, I was 17 and a minority in a white majority small rural town. No social capital. No voice.

When I go to Starbucks, what am I gonna do? For fun, I go by STAR-LORD. My kids get a kick out of that. But do I wish people would be able to say my name correctly? Yes I do. Of course I do.

I like when people ask me if they are saying my name correctly. It’s a big part of being known for who I am. About half the time people say my name incorrectly. That’s my life.

Believe our stories.

If I say I was a victim of racism, believe it. What have you got to lose? I am super cautious and circumspect about labelling something racist. I reflect carefully on the situation. But if I think it was racism, I’m pretty sure it was. Hear my story, and believe it. That’s not a crime. It just helps me feel less crazy and less alone when people can enter into my story and say, “Yeah, that sucks. No one should be treated that way.”

Don’t assume my life is easy because of “reverse discrimination” and “affirmative action.”

I hear this argument all the time. Minorities have it easy. They get the scholarships. They get special treatment. Let’s be clear. Every time I leave my house, I worry about what might happen to me. At the store. At the gas station. Walking on the street. On vacation. People yell things at me, racist slurs. “Go home.” “Get out of my country.”

Are there any perks to being Indian-American? I don’t sunburn. But there is a lot of crap I have to put up with on a constant basis. Just know that. You chose to live in America, go home (they say). Yeah, I’ve been to India, many times, they see me as American. I get teased there too!

Asian Culture: Be curious and positive, but don’t make me exotic.

I love your people. I love your movies. I love your food. Your people are so smart. Your people are bad drivers. What do you do with Asian culture? Be nice, be positive, be curious, that’s all cool. But don’t make my skin and heritage the only thing you see when you see me. I am an individual. I have hobbies and interests, I watch Netflix too, I follow sports teams, I read the latest books. No I don’t know Sanjay Gupta. Yes we are related (so my dad tells me).

See something, say something.

When someone yells something at me from a car or on the street, presumably something racist (I can’t always hear, they don’t tend to enunciate), I feel very alone at that moment. Like the whole world is about the pounce. I was in San Antonio once, walking around late at night. I was really the only pedestrian around. Someone in a car was driving by and screamed something at me and drove off. I was terrified. I was out looking for food after a long day of traveling. I spent the next hour or so constantly looking around for danger.

If you are around during these kinds of incidents, you don’t need to be “the hero,” but saying something like “Idiot!” to the driver is a little nod like “I got your back.” I don’t actually need someone to come to my rescue (unless I am literally getting pummeled), but just that sense that everyone is not against me, that helps.

Lastly: perhaps most importantly, be friends with people that are not like you.

This will change the world. Not a donation to a cause. Not new legislation. Not waves of social media “likes.” People treating other people as friends, sharing meals, having conversations, seeing the world through each others’ eyes.

Uncategorized

Previous Post

March 22, 2021

New Book: Rethinking Galatians: Paul's Vision of Oneness in the Living Christ (Oakes and Boakye)

Next Post

March 24, 2021 Exegesis and Hermeneutics Bibliography

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category (Mis)Understanding Philippians 10 Things I Can't Live Without 2023 New Books 30 OT HB Scholars to Read and Follow 5 Books Series 50-2-Follow Academia Christian Theologians to Read and Follow Cruciform Scripture: Contributor Reflections Crux Sola TV Editors Behind Great Books in NT Studies Education Gendering the Holy Spirit Gupta FB Live Lectures In Faith and Doubt In Their Own Words Living the King Jesus Gospel My Top 6 OT Commentaries New Testament Resource Guide New Word Biblical Themes Nijay's A Very Library Christmas Shopping Guide Notes from an Editor Notes on New Books NTRG OT in the NT Paul Seminary Now The Bible in God's World The Word Felt Among Us SPENCER Translating Philippians Uncategorized Why I Use Accordance Women in Ministry

Select a Month March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 May 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz