When Language Fails, Read the Instruction Manual

Last updated on: December 5, 2015 at 12:00 pm by Artur Rosman

When Language Fails, Read the Instruction Manual 2015-12-05T12:00:24-07:00 Artur Rosman

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(Anthonie van Borssom, Landscape with Cows, 1649; Source: Wikimedia Commons, PD-Old-100).

“A miracle, for Aquinas, is not a special presence of God . . .”

–Herbert McCabe, Faith Within Reason

Sam Rocha‘s weekly monthly letter apocalypse mysteriously turned to philosophically milking the topic of cows.

At the corner of 29th and Candy, while waiting for the express bus, I came across a medium-sized green box. It had no seams and was made of shells tied with ribbon. Inside it had fragments of diary entries from obscure well-known people. Here are some of the one’s that were in English:

Dear Diary,

My friend, Julio Bergoglio, just broke up with Miss Galaxy because she refused to be seen with him in public. That’s just crazy. Everyone is crazy about him now and thinks he should win a goat. People depress me sometimes. I think I will ask her on a blind date.

TT-Bow

Knock, know who goes there?

Dear Dairy,

What happened to the Got Milk? ad campaign? I was collecting those. Did the cows unionize or something? First Reagan and now commie cows.

DFW

Dear Self,

I’m thinking of writing a book about how much I hate infants, theatre, and my dad. I might also make up some stories about stealing pears with my friends so that people think I was cool in high school. You know what, self? You are becoming a serious problem. I doubt anyone would read it anyway.

A with Gusto Stein

Dear Future or Past Self,

You really could do better than a country music song. Just sayin.

Present

Sam Rocha is Assistant Professor of Philosophy of Education at the University of British Columbia. He is author of A Primer for the Philosophy and Education and the recently released Folk Phenomenology. He is also an accomplished musician who has two albums, Freedom for Love and Late to Love, under his belt. His upcoming third album will not have the noun “love” in the title, but will instead utilize a verbal form of the word.

This was a guest post.

If’ you’re still looking for a life instruction manual, then try Perec’s.

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