Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Companions on the Journey

Home
About
Contributors
Events
Publications
Websites
- CompanionsontheJourney.org
- SpiritsInSpacesuits.com
Archive Index
Contact

Home
New Visions
Circles of Compassion

Circles of Compassion

Last updated on: August 21, 2018 at 7:00 am by Father Seán ÓLaoire, PhD

Circles of Compassion 2018-08-13T14:50:48-08:00 Father Seán ÓLaoire, PhD

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Compassion, I believe, is born when love meets fear. But compassion unfolds, in four stages, in an epigenetic fashion – each subsequent stage incorporates but transcends the previous stage, just as tree leaves continue to keep alive their relationships with the twigs, branches, limbs, trunk and roots, even as they reach for the sky. The stages are as follows: first, a physiological response, followed by a psychological response, leading to a sociological response, culminating in a spiritual response. And each stage has its own beauty – and its own downsides. In fact, stages one through three, in the absence of stage four, can deplete the person who is emanating compassion.

The Physiological Response

This involves taking on – consciously or unconsciously – the physical pain, illness or symptoms of another. Have you ever attempted to clear your throat on behalf of a speaker who has a ‘frog in her throat’? It’s the body (yours) literally trying to heal the other by temporarily assuming their condition. There is actually a neurological basis for this. By attaching electrodes to the crania of two volunteers, one of whom will then be subjected to a painful stimulus, the corresponding areas of the brain of the witness light up, as the victim is being hurt.

In “helping situations”, this is the equivalent of seeing somebody fall into a pit and, instead of throwing him a rope, you jump in beside him to show solidarity. It involves trying to be the source of healing rather than a channel for it.

The Psychological Response

A surefire indication that you’re in stage two is that you become psychologically ‘disabled’ by your empathy. Once more, it’s trying to be the source not the channel, the pit-mate rather than the rope-thrower. It’s a classic example of codependency in which the other person’s anxiety and dysfunction rubs off on you. Contrary to popular belief, at this stage, a problem shared is a problem doubled.

It gets worse; you can become infected not just by the pain of an individual but even by global pain. The present political turmoil in our country has led to anxiety, anger and even rage at a national level like an infection that has gone viral (pun intended.)

There’s a condition which the DSM (the Bible of the psychological community) calls, “Borderline Personality Disorder” whose etiology is believed to come from the failure, on the part of the caregivers, to honor a young child’s appropriate boundaries. I once read a fascinating article in a journal of the Institute of Noetic Sciences that spoke of “Borderland Personality Disorder.” It’s when sensitive individuals become symptomatic of Gaia’s own distress. They are the prophets or early-warning-system of the stressed-out planet. And the picture may be confused with or amplified by the prophet’s personal issues.

While it may be useful, even admirable, to be the voice of the muted Pacha Mama, it’s rarely helpful to take on another’s personal pain.

The Sociological Response

Now, the ‘caretaker’ is going to make interventions e.g., drive the patient to the hospital, cook their meals, help out financially, persuade their bosses not to fire them for poor performances or no-shows… Often, within a family, there is a ‘go-to’ member that has been anointed by fiat or precedent to be the rescuer. On the side of the ‘savior’, this can be a combination of genuine compassion and a defense mechanism to protect against the turmoil of a dysfunctional family.

Whatever its origin, left unchecked it can lead to burnout. Often, it is not appreciated or even recognized; and, occasionally, it is resented, especially by those who most ‘demand’ the help. Initially, it can be easier to do the job yourself than train, encourage or insist that the ‘victim’ do it. And it’s partially based on misunderstanding the meaning of ‘responsibility.’ The loving, compassionate rescuers often see themselves as somehow the cause of the other’s pain; or, at very least, that “it’s up to me to solve the problem.” In fact, responsibility simply means, ‘the ability to make responses.’ And sometimes the appropriate response is to say, “you need to do this yourself.”

The Spiritual Response

This occurs when you can elevate above the details of a situation. Like an artist working on a large mural, you have to take several steps back in order to be able to grok the entire scope of your masterpiece, prior to re-engaging. This allows you to realize that you and all of the people whom you are trying to help are eternal beings, children of God whom She loves unconditionally; and all of whom will eventually find their way home. Allied to that, each soul, prior to incarnation, has crafted a life plan and underlined the lessons it hopes to master during the coming lifetime.

Sometimes, in our efforts to prevent people from experiencing the consequences of their own actions, we delay their progress. There’s a story I once heard, of a young boy who saw a monarch butterfly’s efforts to extricate herself from her cocoon. After a ten-minute struggle, she was still only halfway out and appeared to be in distress. So, the compassionate child broke open the remainder of the cocoon and set her free. The only problem was she was now crippled for life. She would never fly because it is precisely the struggle of emerging from the cocoon that releases the lactic acid into the muscles of her wings.

What Would Jesus Do?

Even better, what did Jesus do? There’s a wonderful story in all three Synoptic Gospels where Jesus is en route to heal the synagogue leader’s little daughter. A great throng is pressing in upon him as he hurries along, his mind fixed on what he must do when he gets there. A woman in the crowd who’s been hemorrhaging for twelve years and has spent all of her resources on doctors who failed to heal her, reaches down to touch the hem of Jesus’s robe, convinced that even that connection will cure her. And, indeed, it does.

However, Jesus is startled and swings around asking, “who touched me?” The disciples are bemused by the question and point out that there is a big, tightly-packed crowd about him. But he won’t be diverted. He says, “No, somebody touched me; power went out from me!” Shamefacedly, the woman came forward and explained the situation. Not only was this extremely embarrassing but, according to Jewish law, this bleeding woman was ritually unclean and should have sequestered herself. Anybody she touched was, ipso facto, also rendered unclean and would not be allowed to attend religious services until they had undergone a purification ceremony. Most of all, she had contaminated Jesus by intentionally touching his garments.

I’m sure she was expecting the crowd – and especially Jesus – to read her the riot act. For years, I couldn’t understand why he embarrassed her like that. Then, I finally got it. In one fell swoop, he was demonstrating that she was not unclean; she was a beloved daughter of God. Moreover, Jesus wanted her to realize that what she had just experienced was self-healing. In other words, he was telling her, ‘It was not I who healed you; it was your faith that did it. In future, you don’t need to project your own unrecognized ability onto any expert. You are a child of God, a divine being; own your power!” So, he wasn’t embarrassing her, he was empowering her, even as he taught the bystanders about the meshugas of uncleanness. He showed her that the healer’s job is not to be the benevolent master but, rather, to empower the patients so that they cease to regard themselves as helpless victims.

But there is another important lesson here. Why did Jesus say, ‘power has gone out of me’? My own theory is that when Jesus healed anybody, he acted as a channel to the Father. He was never claiming to be the source. So, his healings were always done by the conscious channeling of God-energy. In this incident, however, his focus was elsewhere and when the woman touched him, it caused a sudden and startling discharge which rocked him.

The lessons, then, are two-fold. First, realize that you are a channel, not the source. Otherwise, all compassionate outreach is going to drain your life force. And, second, when engaged in any healing exercise, public or private, be prepared for and fully aware of the flow of power

Conclusion

I live off the grid and depend on solar power. I had to carefully plan what my total wattage needs would be at peak usage e.g., the microwave uses about 1,500 watts, an average light bulb 60-150 watts, as well as my computer, printer, washing and drying machines, fridge etc. Only then, could I determine how many solar panels, inverters and batteries I needed.

You have to calibrate how much ‘solar power’ you have available so you don’t overload your system by overextending the wattage of your compassionate outreach. Compassion must not be confused with taking over the incarnational mission of another. When you’ve done what you can do, then you must – as they say in AA – ‘let go and let God.’ She who gave birth to the cosmos is probably in a far better place than you to determine the ideal timing and method of the healing.

Previous Post

August 14, 2018

A Letter to Yahweh

Next Post

August 28, 2018 Unpacking the Parable of the Good Samaritan

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category "All Lives Matter" "Anatomy of Human Destructiveness" "belonging systems" "bite-sized pieces of God" "Black Lives Matter" "block universe" "butterfly effect" "call to prayer" "counting to 10" "dog-whistle" language "I Am" statements "late term abortion" "lefties" "Nature Nazis" "Nephilim" "opium of the masses" "othering" "personal" God "personal/sensible" God "private" property "punctuated equilibria" "Silent Night" "Sky Gods" "Super Archetypes" "symbolic"experience "TaNaKh" "the difficult passages" "The Prophet" "the seamless garment approach' "virtualized" money "waking Life" 'creatio ex nihilo' 'dissipative structures' 'emanatio ab Deo' 'God the creator' 'God the Redeemer' 'God the Sanctifier' 'in potentia' 'The End Times' 1% abandonment Abortion abortion debate Abraham abstract rationality abundance Adam and Eve advanced beings/civilizations Advent adventure afterlife agape akasha Akashic record Alabaster jar Alan Watts alchemy aleinu alignment alive allegory altered states of consciousness alternate state of consciousness Alzheimer's disease America 2019 America 2020 America 2021 amnesia Anam Chara anatma (no soul) angels animasphere anitya (impermanence) Annuciation apathy apocalypse apophatic language apostles archetype art artists ASC - altered states of consciousness ascension asceticism ashram astral form astral travel astrology atheism Atman attention attention/observation autism avatar awake awakener awakening awareness awareness/imagination Axial Age Babel Baltimore catechism Baptism bardo state Bealtaine Beatitudes beauty behavioral psychology Being-Knowing-Loving belief systems beliefs Benediction Bernard Haisch Bethlehem Bhagavad Gita biblical literalism biblical revelation Big Bang biophilic biosphere birth canal birthright bite-size piece of God black holes blame Blessed Trinity bodhisattva bodhisattva vow body bonding Book of Job Book of Kells Book of Psalms Book of Revelation border wall Brahma Brahma-Vishnu-Shiva Brahman brain brotherhood/sisterhood Buddha Buddha nature Buddhahood Buddhas Buddhism burning bush Cain and Abel camán (hurley) cancer Canon Law canonical gospels Caol Áit caol áiteanna capital punishment capitalism Carl Jung cataphatic language Catherine of Siena Catholics causal void cause and effect cell mates Celtic Christianity Celtic Feast of Bealtaine Celtic spirituality Chalmers channel of healing chaos consciousness chaos theory charism children chreode Christ archetype Christ consciousness Christ/Christa consciousness Christa Consciousness Christian Christian cosmology Christian Trinity Christianity Christmas Christmas club ciotogs civilization classical conditioning climate change climate disruption co-create co-creating reality co-creative power and responsibility co-creative power of attention codependency cognitive flexibility coherence collaboration collective attention collective consciousness collective imagination collective intelligence/effort collective prayer collective unconscious collective/universal consciousness communication Communion of Saints community Companions on the Journey (COJ) compassion compassionate caregiver competition complacency complex/interdependent society Complexity/Chaos Theory complexity/entropy conceptual thought concurrency Confucius connectedness conscience conscious conscious evolution conscious observation conscious observer consciousness consciousness examen consciousness-primary cosmos consciousness-primary reality conservatism consumerism consumption continuous creation conversations conversion cooperation Coronavirus corrupt politics cosmic consciousness Cosmic Mind cosmic patterns cosmic whole cosmology cosmos Council of Constantinople Council of Nicaea countable infinity courage court prophets covenant Covid-19 creating creation creation by subtraction creative intelligence creativity creativity/paradox creator crucifixion culpability cultural identity cultural trance culture cynicism dark night of the soul Darwin daughter of Sion death debate and detachment deconstructionism deity déjá vu dementia demi-urge democracy democratization of Spirit Descartes desert fathers/mothers destiny detachment determinism devil's advocate Dia de Los Muertos dialogue dignity of all sentient beings direct experience disassociation disciple discovery disease disillusionment diversity divination divine brain Divine Feminine divine inspiration Divine Masculine Divine nature divine realm of perfection divinity DNA Donald Hoffman donkeys Down syndrome drama dream dream state dream time dreamers dreams dualism duality dysfunctional family earth Easter Eastern mystics ecology ecumenism ego ego identity ego-soul dialectic Einstein Einstein's "Block Universe" elementals Elijah Elohim eloquence EM field emergence emergent phenomenon emotional heart empathy en mesoi en-souled human person encounters end times endangered species enemies energy enlightenment entanglement entrainment entropy-complexity environmental degradation epigenetics epiphenomena epistemology equality/democracy equanimity equation of enlightenment Erich Fromm esoteric eternal eternal/mortal eternity etheric body ethics Eucharist Eucharistic Prayer of the Cosmos evaluation evil evolution evolution into enlightenment evolution of consciousness evolution of purpose evolution of society evolution of virtues evolution/devolution evolutionary inflection point evolutionary programming evolutionary shift evolutionary trajectory existence existential inflection point exit strategy experiential knowing experiential symbols extending rights/curtailing rights extra-terrestrial societies extra-terrestrials faery folk faith fake news families family Family of Man fate Father God fear Feast of All Souls feedback feminine face of God Ferdinand de Saussure fetus fifth dimension filioque fire flora and fauna Flora Spiritualis flow foreign policy forgiveness fractals fractals of divinity free will freedom friendship fundamentalism Gaia galaxy Gandhi Garden of Eden Garden of Gethsemane Gautama Siddhartha gemilut hasadim generosity Genesis geometry global crises Global Game Plan global narcissism global transformation global warming gnosis Gnostic intermediaries God God as Father God the Father God's Dream God's heart God's immanence God's will God-conscious Godhead gods Golgotha good and evil Good Samaritan goodness Gospel of John Gospel of Luke Gospel of Thomas grace gratitude greed Greek 'prosopon' ground of being guns habituation hate haves and have nots healing heart heaven Hebrew scriptures hell higher consciousness Hindu Hindu stages of human life Hindu trinity Hinduism Hippocrates Hitler holocene extinction Holocene/Anthropocene holy human Holy Spirit Holy Trinity Homo Narcississimus homo sapiens homo sapiens sapiens Homo Sociopathicus homo spiritualis hope hospitality Huang Po human agency human conditioning human evolution human flourishing (eudaimonia) human history human life human nature human nature/divine nature human needs human psyche human species humans as a social species humility hunger/yearning hypnagogic hypnopompic I AM idealism identity identity theft ideology idolatry illusion illusion of scarcity illusion of separation Ilya Prigogine image of God imaginal cells imagination immanence of God immanent aspect of God immanent experience impermanence improvisation impulse of spirit incarnation incarnational experience incarnational phase inclusivity individual subjectivity individuality indulgences industrial revolution Ineffable Source ineffable transcendence inequality inerrancy of the scriptures infallibility inferior mortal realm infinite inflation/deflation information revolution inner tranquility innocence inspiration instinct instinctual responses integration intellect intelligence intention intentional community interconnectedness interdimensional interpersonal relationships intuition Iománaíocht Ireland irrationality Isaiah Islam Issac Issac Newton Jacob Jacob's ladder of Genesis Jane Goodall Jansenism Jean-Paul Sartre Jeremiah Jesus Jesus as Divine Word John the apostle Joseph Campbell Joseph Cardinal Bernadin joy Judaism Judeo-Christian bible judgment justice Kahlil Gibran karma karma gobbler kindness Kingdom of God knowing knowledge and wisdom kosmic laws Kosmos Krishnamurti lack language Lao Tzu Latin "purgare" Latin 'persona' laughter Law of Impermanence Law of Love lay-away living learning legalism Lent letting go liberal/progressive liberation lies life life journey life purpose life-time commitment light likeness of God Lila limbo liminality lineage living systems living water logos longing love loving God loving without knowing lucid dreaming lucid living Ludwig Wittgenstein Luke and John Magi Mahavira mainstream media male/female faces of God manifest realm mantra Mariology Martin Buber Mary and Joseph Mary Magdalene Mary Oliver Mary the mother of Jesus mass media material world materialism materialistic science materialists mathematics matrix matter Maya mea culpa meaning of life media meditation Meister Eckhart meme memory message metanoia metaphor metaphysical universe metaphysics metaverse metta (Buddhism) Middle America Middle Way migrating Milesians military-industrial complex military-industrial demons Mind mind-body problem mindfulness mini-mystics miracles miraculous/mundane mission missionary mitzvah modularity moksha monasticism money Monoimus monotheism moral laws moral values morality morality/applied ethics morality/legality Moses Mother Earth Mother God mother-love motherhood Mount Shasta Mount Thabor multidimensional creatures multiverse music mystery mystic mystical body of Christ mystical impulse mystical poetry mystical self-empowerment mystical spirituality mystical union with Source mystical void mysticism mysticists mystics myth myth of the given mythic realm mythology naivete Namasté narcissism national security state nationalism Nativity natural disasters Natural Order Nature nautral selection NDE near death experience nebula necessity necrophilic neighbor Neils Bohr neural pathways neurotheology New Age philosophers New Age speak New Year resolutions newborn nirvana no-thing-ness Noah's Ark non-conceptual prayer noosphere nuclear nuclear weapons observer effect Old Testament oligarchy omniscience of God one-ness only-begotten ontology operant reinforcers oral language origin of laws Original Blessing original sin orthodoxy othering out-of-body experience overpopulation Pacha Mama pain pair-bonding Palm Sunday pandemic shutdown panspermia parable parallel lives parallel realities parallel universes parapsychological conduits pareidolia past-present-future Pater Noster Pavlov peace Peggy Lee Pena Creek Pentateuch Pentecost pepo perception perceptual state perfection persona personal cosmology personal enlightenment personal evolution personal responsibility personal transformation personality personhood personhood and ensoulment Peter and John Pharisees philosophy physical universe physical water physiosphere pilgrim Planet Earth planetary ascension Plato Plato's ideal realm pleasure principle Plotinus (d. 270 CE) Plutarch pneuma Pneuma Floriensis pneuma spiritualis pneumasphere poets politics post-incarnational phase power of love practice of prayer prana prayer prayer of petition Pre-Conception contract pre-incarnational phase predetermination prejudice priesthood priesthood of women primary reinforcement prime directive prison-industrial complex pro-choice pro-life profit propaganda prophets proverbs psyche psychodrama psychological conditioning psychological evolution psychology punctuated equilibrium pure awareness purgatory purpose pyramid of power Pythagoras Quakers Quakers "Sense of the Meeting" quantum field theory quantum foam quantum mechanics quantum physics quantum physics/mechanics quantum shift quarantined race radah radical love rainbow body raison d'etre Ram Dass Ramana Maharshi rationality/reason re-birth re-gifting intelligence re-incarnation re-incarnational phase re-magining reality reality gestalt reason recession reconciliation recycling reductionism reincarntion reintegration relationships relativism religion religionists religious systems remembering remembering/imagining renewal repetition resource wars response-ability Resurrection revelation revolution Richard Rohr Rig Veda rights/responsibilities Rilke ritual river of life Role-self root causes/social issues ruach Rumi Rupert Sheldrake sacrament sacraments sacrifice Sadducees Sai Baba saints salvation Samhain Samsara Sat-Chit-Ananda Satya Sai Baba scapegoat scarcity science science as revelation scientific fundamentalism scientific revolution scientism scientists Second Coming secondary reinforcement secular power secular/sacred secularization seeker seers Self self-acceptance self-alienation self-awareness self-compassion self-conscious life self-forgiveness self-identification self-identity self-interest/tribal interest self-liberation self-realization self-serving pathology self-understanding sense of self sense of separate self sensorium sentience separate self separation service to self/service to other sexual harrassment shadow shadow pod Shalom Shared Death Experience (SDE) sheep/shepherds Shiva Shiva energy Shroud of Turin signifiers silence simulated reality sin sin of separation sinner skin-encapsulated ego society socio-political division Socrates Son of Man Song of Amhergín soul soul group soul mates soul pod soul service Soul-self sound Source space-time special and general relativity spirit spiritual choices spiritual dis-integration spiritual DNA spiritual evolution spiritual garden spiritual healing spiritual heart spiritual heredity spiritual journey spiritual monoculture spiritual path spiritual power spiritual question/mystical question spiritual seeker spiritual water spirituality St. Augustine St. Francis St. Gregory of Palamas St. Ignatius of Loyola St. John of the Cross St. Patrick St. Paul St. Thomas Aquinas states of consciousness staying asleep staying awake Steven Pinker stillness stochastic terrorism Stockholm Syndrome stories story storytellers storytelling stream stress subconscious subjective consciousness subliminal perception submission suffering Sufi super-consciousness Supernatural Supernatural reality surrender survival survival of the fittest sustaining intelligence symbiosis symbols synchronicity taoism Tarot technology Teilhard de Chardin telepathy telos/teleology temptation tension terrorism the "Magnificat" the abortion process the Art of Dying the Bible the Big Other The Centering Prayer the cross the dead the Fall The Great Schism The Hero's Journey the human experiment the living The Lord's Prayer the Mother the Old Order the Other The Sign of Peace the Veil the World theology theory of entanglement Theory of Everything (TOE) theory of General Relativity Third Heaven "Shehaqim" thirst Thomas Aquinas thought patterns thoughts/tulpas Tikkun Olam time time travel time-space-mind tomb Tonglen Torah trans-lingual trans-rational trans-spatial trans-temporal transcendence transcendence of God transcendent aspect of God transcendent God transcendental experience transcendental realm transcendental/transpersonal Transcendentals Transfiguration transformation transpersonal Tree of Life Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil tribalism Trinity true Self trust truth truths tselem Tuatha Dé Danann tulpa ultimate reality Uncategorized unconditional love unconscious unconscious psychological modules uncountable infinity understanding unity Unity Consciousness universal basic income (UBI) universal consciousness universe universe as a living system universe itself as a living system Upanishads values Vatican II Veil of Veronica victimhood Virgin Mary virtues vision visionary experiences visions Vivekananda void of self-consciousness waking consciousness Watson and Crick wave-particle duality wealth wealth and privilege wealth gap Wilder Penfield will to survive William James wisdom witnessing consciousness women's spiritual group Word Word-of-God-Made-Flesh world view wu-wei Yahweh yin and yang Yogananda Zen Zen buddhist monk zero-sum game Zoroaster

Select a Month June 2024 May 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 April 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 June 2022 December 2021 November 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 October 2020 August 2020 July 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz