Counting the Joys & Honoring the Griefs

Last updated on: April 3, 2020 at 2:50 pm by Cara Meredith

Counting the Joys & Honoring the Griefs 2020-04-03T14:50:43-07:00 Cara Meredith

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

My friend Ashley said something earlier this week that I haven’t been able to get out of my head:

Right now, all we can do is count our joys and honor our griefs.

This is the one thing, the only thing, she can do right now. I wish I could say the same – that I don’t explode in anger when all of this staying indoors and away from other humans doesn’t get the best of me. That I do what I encourage others to do and find beauty in the most unlikely of places, all the blessed, freaking time. That when waves of grief roll over me, I recognize and honor and lean into the source of the pain, instead of running from the water I’m not already drenched in.

But I don’t, at least not always in the moment.

If you’re anything like me – you know, as in, a human – the last couple of weeks have probably been a field day of emotions for you. Now, here’s the thing: field days were really fun when we were ten-year olds. We tied strips of fabric around our legs and partnered up with our best friends for a three-legged race. We threw water balloons at each other. We ate lunch out on the grassy field, we traded whispers, we giggled and laughed until we had to wipe tears from our eyes.

Remember when, remember when, remember when…

But field days of emotions now, when it feels like the losses far exceed the wins, when the sky only seems to offer buckets of rain instead of sunshine? Well, that’s hard.

I don’t think hard means impossible, though.

Because when we live in a both-and world, we learn how to count the joys and honor the grief, at the very same time.

Here’s how that looked for me yesterday afternoon, as I posted about on Instagram:

Me, sad because school is canceled for the year. I’m mostly sad for my boys, for their perfect-for-them teachers and for the friends they don’t get to connect with but over a screen. ⁣
⁣
Me, sometimes fearful and overwhelmed of the unknown, of who this virus will steal from each of us, of the mask I’m advised to wear on my face.⁣
⁣
And me, saying hi postwoman Maribel (who happens to be reading a copy of my book now – “Are you an author or something? You sure mail a lot of books.” “Well, yeah”). We look each other in the eyes, we say hello, we hold one another’s stories through the glass partition that separates us. ⁣
⁣
Me to we, the we of our connectedness, the we of the connection we humans sometimes forget we have with one another simply because we’re humans. Me, excited to see how this human-to-human honoring changes us all on the other side of the pandemic. ⁣
⁣
But for now, me, living in the both-and of grief and joy, of great sadness and genuine excitement. Me, in this with you.

So, we count our joys. We honor our griefs. And in doing this, over and over again, we let myriad emotions take up residence in our hearts, perhaps giving one another permission to do the same.

In this with you,

—

So, what are your joys? What are your griefs? I’m honored to hear and hold this for you.

Uncategorized

Previous Post

March 26, 2020

All This Change, All This Transition

Next Post

April 7, 2020 What Happens in Six Months (Jeff Shankle)

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Book reviews Uncategorized

Select a Month July 2026 June 2026 December 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 September 2023 June 2023 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 November 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz