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January 2016

January 08, 2016

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Jesus Germs” Edition

Yes, Ladies and Gents. After an extended hiatus, I bring you the resurrection of the...

October 2014

October 29, 2014

Church Sign Epic Fails, “No Explanations” Edition

When I was a kid, I'd always ask "why?" about everything. Thankfully, church cured me...

October 22, 2014

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Darwin vs. Jesus” Edition

Darwin was pretty certain, what with the huge body of evidence behind him, he'd win...

September 2014

September 20, 2014

Church Sign Epic Fails, “I Heart Sex” Edition

God loves sex? With whom, pray tell! Or is this a...um...solo kinda gig? Not that...

August 2014

August 17, 2014

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Communion Lite” Edition

I'm so glad there's a church out there willing to offer me un-transubstantiated communion. The...

August 03, 2014

Church Sign Epic Fails, ‘Pastor Judgment Day’ Edition

Little known fact: The church sign phenomenon was started by a traveling letter salesman by...

July 2014

July 19, 2014

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Church + Porn = FAIL” Edition

Pastor, I promise I thought it was a "PAWN" store. I totally was just cashing...

July 06, 2014

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Race Car to Hell” Edition

Celebrating all things bumper sticker today, because nothing says "I'm following the path of Jesus"...

June 2014

June 30, 2014

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Christian Tacos” Edition

I keep seeing signs for Kosher food and Halal food...thank goodness we're finally making food...

June 05, 2014

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Badass Jesus” Edition

Taking a departure from heinous church signs today to delve into the disturbingly rich landscape...

May 2014

May 28, 2014

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Cow Gang” Edition

I once came up on a cow gang. They was like, "Yo, gimme all your...

May 18, 2014

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Clothing Optional” Edition

So I showed up naked to this church and got the weirdest looks. Hey, if...

May 06, 2014

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Longer Than Sex” edition

You know, it's bad enough trying to compete with the media's portrayal of beauty and...

April 2014

April 20, 2014

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Anal Egg Hunt” Edition

This is what you get when the blog you follow is run by a guy...

April 07, 2014

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Fuzzy Math” Edition

So many people claim to be bad at math, which is why I always pay...

March 2014

March 30, 2014

Church Sign Epic Fails, “God Created Sex” Edition

On the third day, God created sex...which was good because Eve was all kinds of...

March 23, 2014

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Biblical Marriage” Edition

I was told to maintain a biblical marriage. Anybody know where I can get me...

March 10, 2014

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Size Matters” Edition

I was getting all self-conscious that my faith wasn't big enough, but then God reminded...

February 2014

February 23, 2014

Church Sign Epic Fails, “That’s What She Said” Edition

Ahh nothing tastes better than your own foot when it comes to church signs...

February 18, 2014

Church Sign Epic WINS, “Gosford Anglican” Edition

This church consistently hits them out of the park. Good for them.

February 09, 2014

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Clothes Fall Off” Edition

Knock knock. Who's there? Tequila. Tequila who? Tequila is awesome! Until it's not anymore.

February 03, 2014

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Lie, Lie Lie” Edition

You know what persuades me toward a particular way of thinking? Watching two groups with...

January 2014

January 26, 2014

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Ugly Relatives” Edition

I walk into church and, all of a sudden, the Queer Eye guys jump out...

January 19, 2014

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Strip for Me” Edition

I once joined a "Pole Dancing for God" class, but he totally kept telling me...

January 12, 2014

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Smelly Sheep” Edition

Three benefits to being a sheep: no thinking, no bathing, and all the grass you...

January 05, 2014

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Mastur-abater” Edition

So I thought if you masturbate, you'd grow hair on your palms. Turns out your...

December 2013

December 29, 2013

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Beefy Cheesy Glory” Edition

So I opened my hamburger bun yesterday and I saw Jesus' face, right there in...

December 17, 2013

Church Sign Epic…Wins???

I have never had any shortage of church sign fails, but since I'm in the...

December 01, 2013

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Grandpa Ape” Edition

In honor of World AIDS Day, we have a particularly gay array of signage today....

November 2013

November 24, 2013

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Rapture Hatch” Edition

I lived my whole live trying to follow Jesus, but when the rapture came, I...