Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Christian Piatt

Home
Progressive Christian
A Down Economy’s Silver Lining for Men

A Down Economy’s Silver Lining for Men

Last updated on: January 11, 2013 at 5:58 pm by Christian Piatt

A Down Economy’s Silver Lining for Men 2013-01-11T17:58:41+00:00 Christian Piatt

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I was a nervous kid. Once, I got so freaked out by the prospect of a speaking part in my first-grade school play that my folks thought I had come down with appendicitis. But there were two times in particular that I remember descending into unmitigated panic. Both involved discussions with my dad about my career.

The first time, my dad was telling me about his year-by-year earning trends as an insurance salesman. He went from being one of several agents manning a booth in a Sears store to being the highest-earning employee in his major international company over about fifteen years. He added zeroes to his income, and a passel of staffers, including my mom for a while (didn’t work out so well – they divorced thereafter).

At his height, he was earning upwards of half a million a year, and this was in the eighties. His company flew him all over the world, showered him with awards and held him up as the high-water mark for all other agents to aspire to. I combined this remarkable achievement with the implicit cultural message that all generations exceeded their parents in earning power and went into an emotional tailspin.

How in the hell was I going to make that kind of money? And taking inflation into consideration, I really had to break seven figures a year to be considered successful. So far, none of my preferred career choices (musician, writer, record company executive) promised such lifestyles. So it seemed I was doomed for failure unless I took up my dad’s mantle and ran his business after he retired.

The thing was, I hated the insurance business. I appreciated all it afforded our family (though it did keep my dad away 70-plus hours a week and, ultimately, helped split my family apart), but I simply couldn’t imagine myself sitting behind that big oak desk in his oversized leather rolling chair for the next four decades of my life.

Which led me to my second panic attack.

Feeling lost, I approached my dad for advice about what to do, just after college. At the time, I was waiting tables, working a part-time job at a record company and playing gigs in the evenings and weekends. I was scraping by, but just barely. Was I doing something wrong? I asked. Should I be casting aside silly dreams of doing something I loved to gut it out until retirement, eschewing personal fulfillment for a career that would offer, instead, more money, social status and maybe even power?

The answer I got was “yes.” In my dad’s mind, a career was not something to enjoy, per se. In fact, if you enjoyed it too much, it was probably more of a hobby than a real job. You knew it was work because it wasn’t particularly fun, and because people gave you money for it. You want pleasure? That’s what weekends or for.

Enter the second panic attack. And this one was far longer, driving me into a deep depression that lasted more than a year. I moved from Dallas to Austin, got turned down for everything I applied for from sandwich artist (I was overqualified) to university event coordinator (I was under-qualified). The fog finally lifted, but it literally took years for me to find my own way, deciding that those definitions of success and fulfillment simply didn’t work for me.

So what does a shitty economy have to do with all of this, and how in the world can it be good news for a man trying to figure out his place in the world? The simple fact is that, for all intents and purposes, the unsustainable cycle of upward mobility has been broken. Most men today no longer believe they have to out-earn their dads, partly because there are increasingly fewer opportunities to do so. It also helps that gender roles have continued to evolve, such that I’m no longer looked down upon for working from home, helping take the kids to school and preparing meals for the family.

It’s my wife who brings in the bigger paycheck every month, and she’s the one with the impressive title and the corner office on the Park Blocks in downtown Portland. And you know what? I’m happy for her. What’s more, I don’t want that. I feel infinitely lucky to get to hammer away on this keyboard from the makeshift office, carved out of our garage, and to travel on occasion to speak to groups about what it means to be a person (first) and a man (second) of faith in the twenty-first century.

So thanks, shitty economy, for helping free me from the illusion of what I thought I had to be. And thanks, Amy, for being more ambitious than I am in the professional sphere. And thanks, dad, for showing me one way to live, whether I chose to follow that path or not.

And finally, thanks to the surrounding culture for making space for us dads who don’t exactly fit the time-tested mold. I ain’t “Mad Men,” but I ain’t exactly “Mrs. Doubtfire” either. And for now, that seems to be working for all of us pretty well.

Check out Christian’s memoir, “PregMANcy,” on Faith, Family and Fatherhood by CLICKING HERE.

Previous Post

January 11, 2013

Homebrewed CultureCast: ListMania, Antichrist o' the Week & Sandwich Fetishes

Next Post

January 12, 2013 VIDEO Church Sign Epic Fails, "God Likes Weed" Edition

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category atonement belief bible Bill O'Reilly Buddhism CCM children christian piatt christianity Contemporary Christian Music current events derek flood Easter education Everyday Sunday faith faith and culture Frank Schaeffer great commission Haaz Sleiman Hobby Lobby Homebrewed Culture humor ISIS Jesus John Paul Lederach Killing Jesus LGBTQ marc driscoll Mission Year Music My Jesus Project Nat Geo parenting politics popular culture postChristian prison reform Ray rice religion republicans sacrifice sexuality theology Uncategorized video violence wild goose festival World Vision young adults

Select a Month December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which Old Testament prophet predicted the suffering of the Messiah?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Micah Ezekiel Isaiah Jeremiah