How Can I Control My Anger?

Last updated on: September 30, 2017 at 3:47 pm by Jack Wellman

How Can I Control My Anger? 2017-09-30T15:47:24-05:00 Jack Wellman

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Are there ways we can control our anger? How can we receive God’s help?

Be Angry

The Bible actually says that we can be angry, just as long as it doesn’t lead to sin. Some things ought to make us angry. Things like child abuse, terrorism, and political corruption, so anger in itself is not wrong, if it’s for the right reason, however it should never lead to criminal behavior. This is contrary to God’s will (Rom 13:1-5), so when we’ve done all we can, we must trust God to ensure justice will be done but in His own time, not ours (Rom 12:19). The Apostle Paul says, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger” (Eph 4:26), but if our anger is misdirected, we know that not much good will come of it, since “the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:20). To not let the sun go down on our anger doesn’t always mean the issues are resolved by bedtime, although that’s a worthy goal, but Paul may mean, don’t let the anger simmer for days and days without getting it resolved. Things that are not immediately settled can become unsettled, and that allows resentment and anger to grow.

Righteous Anger

Being angry is not the problem; what we do with it is. If someone writes an angry letter to their congressman about the conditions at a local VA hospital, that’s righteous indignation, and that anger is being used productively, but if the person who wrote the letter tries to take matters into their own hands, then that anger will “not produce the righteousness of God.” If the matter gets the attention of the public or elected officials, then the anger about an injustice or some inhumane treatment may change the situation for the better. Jesus got angry and overturned the money changer’s tables and drove them out with “a whip from some ropes and chased them all out of the Temple. He drove out the sheep and cattle, scattered the money changers’ coins over the floor, and turned over their tables” (John 2:15), but it doesn’t say He used the whip on people or animals. It says He drove them out. These “changers” were taking huge advantage of people and had made the temple a den of thieves.

Learning Contentment

One reason most people get angry is because their expectations are not being met. They get cut off in traffic or there’s an accident on the highway and now they’re stuck in traffic. Now they’ll be late getting home or late to work, neither of which is good, but a person who has learned to be content in all things, doesn’t let circumstances dictate their contentment. First of all, if their contentment is found in Christ, it’s not found in things. If at the moment, all you have is Christ, then Christ is all you need, but if you need something more in life, there’ll always going to be something missing. It’s not necessarily a “God-shaped vacuum” in the heart, but a person who’s cut off from God cannot find the lasting peace, joy, and contentment a believer has. Their contentment is not dependent upon what happens today or might happen tomorrow, but on knowing that whatever happens will work toward God’s best for us (Rom 8:28), and the future hope and glory we have (Rev 21:4) cannot even compare with what we go through today (Rom 8:18). When the Apostle Paul was addressing the Philippians concern for him (Phil 4:10), he said he was not “speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content” (Phil 4:11), so how did Paul learn to be content? Lots of practice, with real life opportunities, like “facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need” (Phil 4:12), but what was this “secret of contentment” (Phil 4:12) he wrote about? It was the fact that he “can do all things through him who strengthens” him (Phil 4:13), meaning Christ. In Christ, he could do all things, but without Him, he could do absolutely nothing, and nothing is not a little something (John 15:5). Godly contentment is found in Christ’s ability to strengthen us during plenty and want, water or thirst, famine or feast.

Taking Inventory

1st Timothy 6:6-8 connects us with the idea of contentment and godliness, as Paul writes, “godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content,” so it is a godly thing to be content with what you have, but also with what you don’t have. Things cannot bring contentment. Things might bring comfort for time, but things can be broken, stolen, or worn out. Being contented in Christ is easy, knowing our faith brings us the promise of eternal life. There is nothing that compares to Christ, so Christ is more than enough…and in every circumstance. By taking inventory of our lives, we can learn contentment because we can begin to name all of the tremendous blessings we’ve been given; eternal life, fellowship with God, a future place in the kingdom, and unending joy in the presence of the Lord and of the saints. Most of us have been blessed with family, a job, a home, a car, friends, and food for more than a day, but even though we have all these things, they still do not bring contentment. Our contentment is found in God and that contentment should diffuse any anger before it even starts. When you’re busy counting your blessings and thanking God, you’re too busy to get angry. Besides, grumbling creates more problems than it solves. When we grumble at life, we’re grumbling against God, and God is not pleased when we do, and when He sees we’re living in a discontented state and not being thankful for what we have and what He’s done for us (Eph 2:8-9), He is certainly not pleased with us and may have righteous indignation against us.

Conclusion

If you know more of the Word of God, the Spirit of God can bring certain verses to mind when you fell you’re getting angry. Also, think about the person who might have made you angry. Maybe they’ve got some serious financial or relational problems going on and they are hurting inside. Pain can make us do a lot of things we don’t normally do. Maybe someone’s seriously hurt or has been killed in an accident, and that’s why the traffic’s snarled. When you get angry at someone or about something, pray about it, pray for the person you’re angry at, count your blessings, and then snuff that anger out by memorizing these proverbs: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Prov 15:1), and “A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention” (Prov 15:18).

Article by Jack Wellman

Jack Wellman is Pastor of the Mulvane Brethren Church in Mulvane Kansas. Jack is a writer at Christian Quotes and also the Senior Writer at What Christians Want To Know whose mission is to equip, encourage, and energize Christians and to address questions about the believer’s daily walk with God and the Bible. You can follow Jack on Google Plus or check out his book Teaching Children the Gospel available on Amazon.

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