The Kiddy Pool: What’s In A Name, Mrs. Carter?

Last updated on: June 18, 2013 at 9:00 am by Erin Wyble Newcomb

The Kiddy Pool: What’s In A Name, Mrs. Carter? 2013-06-18T08:04:27-06:00 Erin Wyble Newcomb

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Every week in The Kiddy Pool, Erin Newcomb confronts one of many issues that parents must deal with related to popular culture.

A few weeks ago, I introduced myself to another mother at my local library’s story hour. We knew each other’s children’s names, but could only refer to each other as “So-and-so’s mom.” It’s not my favorite thing to be called, yet it seems common at these children’s gatherings for adults to be known only by the possessive relational title of X’s mom/dad/grandma/grandpa, etc. I made some remark to the mother about how nice it was to know her name, since I see her regularly, and her response — that she didn’t feel it was important at all — surprised me. I couldn’t disagree more.

I remember going for a run shortly after my first daughter was born. I desperately needed the fresh air, the space, the solitude. At one point, I stood, watch stopped and waiting for the light to turn green, and realized I was swaying as if I were holding the baby. Early motherhood, for me, was filled with strange moments like that, where on the rare occasions that I went out alone, I felt compelled to tell strangers (but didn’t) at the grocery store that I had a baby at home. If she wasn’t with me, I felt like something was missing. I’m pretty sure these are telltale signs that a parent needs to get out more sans kids. It’s easy, especially in the early weeks/months/years of parenthood, to lose oneself in the process of care-giving. But for one’s identity to be subsumed by the child is not healthy for the parent or the child. And while I can’t possibly know whether that is the case for the mother at the library, it’s why I’d like to maintain a name of my own.

I was mulling over my many names when a friend and I started talking about Beyoncé’s world tour. Except it’s billed as Mrs. Carter’s world tour. Mrs. Carter is the name Beyoncé uses in her H&M ads as well, and it’s one name among many (individual and collective) that she’s used throughout the years: Beyoncé, Sasha Fierce, Destiny’s Child, and now Mrs. Carter. Each name tells a story. There’s the name that requires no surname, the alter ego to embolden a performer, the girl-group with a singular title, and the newest that signals her marriage to a performer who doesn’t even need his last name. Each name is also part of a performance, always public, a way of repackaging and rebranding Beyoncé’s music and image.

So what does it mean for the woman with first-name recognition to take on her husband’s moniker for her world tour? As Jane Martinson writes:

Over time, Beyoncé has not only allowed her personal life to become more public but decided to make family life her defining feature. For her sixth album, Beyoncé will be a mother, a devoted wife — a single lady no more.

I understand the way marriage and children can create a rift — an unalterable before and after that utterly changes who we are and how we view the world. Subjectivity is not that simple though, and I think Beyoncé knows that.

It’s not so much that we shed one name in favor of another, the way we try on clothes. It’s more that we layer them in an increasingly complex network of relationships. I didn’t stop being an individual because I had children any more than I stop being “mama” because my students call me “Dr. Newcomb.” I’m all of those thing at the same time, with my name dependent on the context. And while I don’t have a world tour (yet), my names are a kind of performance just like Beyoncé’s and just like the woman at the library. Our names tell us how we know ourselves, how we want to be known, and how close we’re willing to let others get to us. Names can initiate or obstruct intimacy. And ultimately, all these names, all these performances, will fall the way of Sasha Fierce in favor of a true name from the Maker who sees us as we are, even if it’s not how we see ourselves.

Previous Post

June 18, 2013

The Retro-Gaming Renaissance and the Democracy of the Dead

Next Post

June 18, 2013 Yeezus: Kanye Has Something To Say, But Squanders Our Good Will

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Asides Elsewhere Featured Film Games General Culture Headline Literature Music Of the Moment Podcast Politics RetroPost Sports Technology Television Uncategorized Viral

Select a Month February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz