The Kiddy Pool: Ann Romney, Hilary Rosen, and Going Beyond the "Mommy Wars"

Last updated on: April 16, 2012 at 8:30 am by Erin Wyble Newcomb

The Kiddy Pool: Ann Romney, Hilary Rosen, and Going Beyond the "Mommy Wars" 2012-04-16T08:30:30-06:00 Erin Wyble Newcomb

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Every week in The Kiddy Pool, Erin Newcomb confronts one of many issues that parents must deal with related to popular culture.

Last week, Democratic strategist Hilary Rosen invoked outrage left and right with the statement that Ann Romney “has never worked a day in her life.” Rosen eventually apologized for this remark (largely viewed as an attack on stay-at-home-mothers) and attempted to clarify her position that Romney, because of her wealth, cannot relate to the economic concerns of many women constituents. Rosen’s remarks raised continued concern that this election—at both ends of the political spectrum—needs to grapple seriously with women’s issues and yet has little idea how to actually do that. The so-called “mommy wars” supposedly resurrected by Rosen’s initial claim illustrate the problem with the way women voters are consistently, and falsely, viewed as monolithic.

Within this conversation, there are critical underlying points about socioeconomic status; repeatedly, I read the assumption that only wealthy women, like Romney, can afford to be stay-at-home mothers. That’s simply not true. There are many women who choose to stay home and sacrifice amenities that would be available with a second salary. Reasons abound for making that choice, including a lack of accessible, affordable, high quality childcare and a sense of vocation to make motherhood one’s primary calling. There are also many women who are primarily stay-at-home who work flexible and part-time jobs—for reasons as varied as economic assistance and personal fulfillment. The mothers who stay home, in full or in part, face different challenges than women who participate full time in the work force. But those differences aren’t about virtue; they’re about availability of options (real or perceived) and mothers of all stripes striving to make good decisions for their families.

The dichotomy between mothers who work outside the home and those who don’t is false, unnecessarily divisive, and intentionally distracting. It’s a red herring that makes the conversation about feminine virtue (real or perceived) when women face actual, everyday concerns about the health and financial security of their families. It’s unproductive to pretend that all women share these concerns in the same way, just as it’s unproductive to pretend that all mothers can be easily divided into two irreconcilable groups. What the debate surrounding Rosen and Romney ignores is that all mothers work (of course), but not all mothers work the same way or for the same reasons or with the same level of choice in determining the futures of their families. That’s a conversation that would acknowledge women and mothers as diverse groups with different interests, and it’s a conversation that cannot take place in the artificial context of the “mommy wars.”

Asides

Politics

the kiddy pool

Previous Post

April 16, 2012

Books Besides the Bible: NOT Finding God in Literature

Next Post

April 17, 2012 The Holy Huddle: Petrino and Guillen, A Tale of Two Coaches

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Asides Elsewhere Featured Film Games General Culture Headline Literature Music Of the Moment Podcast Politics RetroPost Sports Technology Television Uncategorized Viral

Select a Month February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz