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September 2019

September 25, 2019

How Steven Furtick Graduated from SBTS Officially Added as 8th Wonder of the World

MATTHEWS, NC – After years of confounding researchers, theologians, and scientists, the question of how...

May 2018

May 10, 2018

Mardel’s Shopper Wanders Store 40 Years Looking For ‘Theology’ Book Section

"We encourage any customer wanting to locate the Mardel's 'Theology' book section to utilize our...

December 2017

December 07, 2017

Life Hack: 7 Ways to Give Good Vibes Instead of Presents This Christmas Season

7) Avoid Spending Time with Your Family One of the easiest ways to get bummed...

November 2017

November 15, 2017

Baptist Research Panel Confirms: Premarital Sex Leads to Dancing

In the small, Mid-west town known by the name of Bomont, a panel of fundamentalist...

November 08, 2017

Doctors Confirm That Pastor Carl Lentz is Missing His Spine

New York, NY – Hillsong Church Pastor Carl Lentz sought professional help in response to...

September 2017

September 19, 2017

Megachurch To Offer eBaptisms For Less-Important Satellite Campuses

Oklahoma City, OK – Non-denominational megachurch Life Explosion Ministries, has announced plans to make baptisms...

September 13, 2017

Southern Baptist Theological Seminary SWAT Team Seizes Steven Furtick’s Degree in Raid

LOUISVILLE, KY - The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary SWAT team seized and recovered one of...

August 2017

August 17, 2017

How to Disprove Any Christian in 10 Easy Steps

4.) If any Christian gives you push back about how you view a particular social...

August 08, 2017

Inspiring: Man to “Sacrifice All” With a Month-Long Facebook Break

Detroit, Michigan – A local man is receiving heavy acclaim from his community this week...

May 2017

May 26, 2017

LifeWay Debuts Paul Tripp Mustache to Equip Biblical Counselors

NASHVILLE, TN – LifeWay Christian Resources recently unveiled the mother-of-all biblical counseling resources to better...

May 10, 2017

Rewriting “Knowing God” (Fake Book Ideas)

Let's imagine Packer never wrote his classic.

April 2017

April 27, 2017

Bill Nye Spotted in Dumpster Looking For His Next Scientific Thesis

Los Angeles, CA - According to a local news source in Los Angeles, CA, several...

April 14, 2017

Study Finds There are More Christian Podcasts Than Actual Christians

I seem to recall a prophecy in the bible that says, 'His podcasts shall outnumber...

April 12, 2017

Brad’s Wife To Be Named New CEO of United Airlines

CHICAGO, IL - In less than 48 hours after a video went viral depicting a...

March 2017

March 27, 2017

David Platt Thrilled To Graduate High School

Richmond, Virginia – As Spring quickly approaches, so does the graduation season, and no...

March 22, 2017

Princeton Theological Seminary Appalled Kuyper Prize Named After Kuyper

Princeton Theological Seminary - Princeton, NJ After revoking the 2017 Kuyper Prize from Presbyterian church...

March 22, 2017

Barnabas Encouragement Ministry Mistakenly Calls Themselves “The Barabbas Group”

PORTLAND, OR – A new ministry at Life Lessons Baptist Church, aimed at encouraging...

March 13, 2017

Introvert Forced To Serve As Greeter While Under Church Discipline

According to multiple reports, Brendan Kirby, a well-known introvert, was forced to serve as a...

February 2017

February 28, 2017

Bryan Adams Surprised To Learn of His Lifetime Achievement Dove Award

NASHVILLE, TN - Earlier this week, The Dove Awards committee announced that they will be...

February 23, 2017

BREAKING: Calvinist Makes It Full 19 Hours Without Starting A Debate

Jon snapped the 19 hour debate drought after running into an acquaintance in public restroom....

February 15, 2017

Even with Swole Arms, Steven Furtick Still Unable to Lift Truth from Bible

Elevation Church, North Carolina - In his rather candid and enigmatic style, Steven Furtick plainly...

February 09, 2017

Man Finally Finds Perfect Use For His Copy of “The Shack”

JACKSON, MI – A local man is thrilled that he has finally found use for...

February 01, 2017

After Canceling on Christmas, Megachurch to Demonstrate Faithfulness by Streaming Super Bowl During Worship

"We are a church dedicated to corporate worship and to prove it, we're combining the...

January 2017

January 13, 2017

Local Man Creates Fake Identity To Avoid Serving In Church Nursery

MEDDLE, FL – The First Baptist Church of Meddle is in shock after it was...

December 2016

December 19, 2016

PCUSA Home Group Ruined After Gender-Specific Telling of The Christmas Story

MONTPELIER, VERMONT - A local PCUSA church home group, on the south-side of Montpelier, is...

November 2016

November 09, 2016

David Crowder Mistaken For Bigfoot Again

VIVIAN, LA – Youth Pastor of Bible Believer's Church in Vivian, Louisiana, Christopher Oden, is...

November 07, 2016

Hillary Clinton To Watch 2016 Election Results From Mordor

WASHINGTON D.C. – After much speculation and anticipation, the Clinton camp has confirmed that she...

October 2016

October 31, 2016

Nominal Protestant Confuses Martin Luther with Martin Luther King Jr

CHICAGO, IL - Local, nominal Protestant, Charles Hoffstentter is reported to have confused famed Protestant...

October 14, 2016

3 Good Reasons Evangelicals Should Vote For Donald Trump

October 04, 2016

Confused John Piper Thinks Naughty By Nature Concert is a Theological Conference; DJs Anyway

SAINT PAUL, MINNESOTA - Concert-goers were surpised when theologian and author John Piper appeared on...

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