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Becoming A Compassionate Person

Becoming A Compassionate Person

Last updated on: February 7, 2017 at 5:34 pm by Guest Contributor

Becoming A Compassionate Person 2017-02-07T17:34:23-05:00 Guest Contributor

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INTRODUCTION:

Not too long ago I wrote an article/blog that primarily dealt with the body of Christ and our lack of true compassion. You can find that article/blog on The Chorus in the Chaos website under the title of, “Your Church Needs You.”

With this article/blog I would like to identify some of the things that block the instant compassion and empathy we should be exercising as believers. Then, I will list some ways that will hopefully help us overcome this dilemma.

You see, when functioning correctly, our heart should instantly cause God’s compassion to be a part of our interaction with others every day. So, why is compassion so lacking among those who confess to be Christ-followers?

COMPASSION BLOCKERS:

1) Too Many Believers are Self-Absorbed

Sadly, people today are content to stay within the limits of their own small worlds. They do not have “eyes that see” anything except what is within the boundaries of their personal tunnel vision. Since compassion needs observant attention towards others, it is out of reach to those who are self-absorbed. The result is, compassion toward others isn’t being extended.

We have even created clinical phrases to excuse this type of behavior. Psychiatrists and Psychologists often call it “giving ourselves permission” to focus on ourselves, or “setting boundaries” (1). Also, “enabling” can be misused when related to this category. Please don’t get me wrong, these are not always bad in and of themselves. What happens is those who are self-absorbed abuse these ideas of self care and use them as excuses to shut out those in need.

2) Loving Because We Have To

Since Jesus gave us the command to love one another, some believers only care about others to be obedient. That is not what Jesus intended. When we look at Jesus’ life we see that when he loved it was with feeling and true concern. In fact, Jesus felt WITH people, and if you will remember, “Jesus wept.”

3) Comparing Our Suffering to Others

Sometimes we are blind to other people’s pain and struggles because we convince ourselves ours is much worse. We under value another person’s pain by comparing it to our own. One cannot compare their personal tribulations with those that others are experiencing.

Just because you may think they should just “handle it,” because you think that you have, is not at all a realistic expectation and it even enters into the being “self-absorbed” category.

Photo Attribution: “Hug” by zhouxuan12345678; CC 2.0

4) Ignoring Our Own Pain

Some people are not compassionate because they have never freed themselves to truly feel their own pain. If they don’t let themselves feel it, they cannot understand it.

5) Some Have Experienced Very Little Pain

It doesn’t seem fair to us, but some people skate through life having very few struggles. Sure, they experience the unavoidable that every person on the planet has to face, but in general their health, careers, social lives, etc., have had virtually no “hiccups.” Since that is the case, they don’t have compassion for those who live a life full of tribulations. However, this is in no way an excuse to continue on with a heart void of compassion.

6) Becoming Desensitized to Suffering

Let’s face it, we all are bombarded daily with news and images of war, starvation, disease, famine, natural disasters, abuse, crime, and much more. Being a witness to this on a daily basis, especially when most of it is from a distance, can result in two things:

First, we become desensitized. We turn off our feelings in an attempt to protect ourselves, but what happens is we become numb. People’s suffering becomes no more than statistics we hear, see, or read.

Second, we minimize other types of suffering that can be just as serious as those listed above, at least to the people experiencing them they are. Don’t minimize another’s pain, it doesn’t do anyone any good.

7) The Blame Game

Often times “compassion can be displaced by judgmentalism” (2). The Pharisees were certainly guilty of this. Instead of showing mercy and concern for those estranged from God, they made themselves judge and jury instead.

The same type of thing happens in our time as well. It is disguised as being “holy” by separating oneself from this world of sin in which we live. However, it’s a false premise. Christ never told us to come out of this world, in fact, he calls us into the world. He did so, in part, so that we may share him, and show compassion, to others in a variety of ways.

OVERCOMING THE BLOCKAGES:

If I were to end this here it might wake some people up and provide helpful information, but it would only be a few that would get motivated and it would most likely be out of guilt, or obligation. In order to prevent that from happening, I’d like to share a few ways I have come across that believers can use to overcome those things that block com- passion. I’d like to do this so that we can get back to the true spirit of compassion displayed by Jesus.

1) Realize God’s Compassion for You

Christ loved us while we were still sinners! In fact, we continue to sin and he continues to love us. Now that’s love, that’s compassion. Having been chosen by God before the foundation of the world, and being blessed with his never ending grace, it is a slap in his face to not show the same mercy and compassion to others. The Holy Spirit has come into us so that he can work through us.

2) “Channel Your Pain”

Let yourself feel your pain and then channel it into compassion for others. You can best show compassion if you yourself have experienced suffering and pain. One who is truly compassionate is one who has gone through suffering and has figured out through their own pain to see and respond to others in pain. (3)

3) Let Compassion Heal You

As long as you “nurse, coddle, and dote on your own pain, you cannot move beyond it to serve others.” (4) One who is truly compassionate has gone through pain and was then able to translate their own experience into the gift of suffering WITH others (also known as empathy). When you experience struggles and are still able to see, feel, and reach out to others in pain, some of your own pain dissipates.

CLOSING:

Compassion is what is behind Jesus’ urging us to lose our life in order to gain it, and to lay down our life for our friends. This is exemplified in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4:

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (ESV).

_______________________________________________

1. Staub, Dick. “Too Christian Too Pagan,” p. 110
2. Ibid., p.111
3. Ibid. p.112
4. Ibid.

This was a guest post from Dr. Jeff Hagan.

Jeff is an ordained Christian minister with over 23 years of ministry experience. He has attended Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, Luther Rice Seminary, Tyndale Seminary and a handful of other institutes as well. He has earned several degrees including the Doctor of Christian Education and the Doctor of Theology.

Suffering

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