Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Charged by the Goddess

Home
Pagan
Rituals We Don’t Want, Rituals We Need: Saying Goodbye

Rituals We Don’t Want, Rituals We Need: Saying Goodbye

Last updated on: February 14, 2019 at 7:30 pm by Irisanya Moon

Rituals We Don’t Want, Rituals We Need: Saying Goodbye 2019-02-14T19:30:34-07:00 Irisanya Moon

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

The ritual happened today, between rain drops and storms. Since the ground was so wet, it took no time at all to dig a hole about two feet long and one foot wide.

And deep enough to hold a precious being.

CC0 Public Domain

Death and Ritual and Story and Journeys

My mind has been filled with stories about what I should do, how I should do it. Why is my witch brain so confused when I’ve done this before. I’ve looked death in the eye and I’ve faced this place.

But grief is contractions. It’s the pushing out of memory after memory like it’s some sort of act of resuscitation for the dead. As though if we just think about the dead enough, they will come back. We will love them back into living.

Wave after wave.

So I took a breath and went back to my body, to the places where tears are made and hearts beat quicker than moments before.

I held his body and walked around the house, trying to memorize his weight. I told the story of our life together, about how much he helped me and loved me and blessed me.

I placed his body in all of the parts of the house he loved.

I gathered all of the things that our little one might want on their journey.

Letters from his ‘parents’
Chicken pieces (shredded not cut)
A feather
Lavender for calming
Herbs for remembering and dreaming kitty dreams

And we read our letters to him, over his cold body. We petted him and told him how much we loved him.

We remembered all of his names. The ones others knew, the ones no one else knew.

We burned herbs and cried.

We wished him well on his journey.

We wished him great big hugs from the cat mama in the sky.

We put the lid back over him and placed him in the ground.

Goodbye sweet one, baby boy. Precious.

And while my heart still aches with the kind of longing that seems melodramatic and made for a TV movie, this is the ritual that is needed. This is the ritual I never wanted.

Closure Disclosure

Ritual enables context and space for my grief. It offers the moments that have been taken away from me — last words, last gratitudes, last snuggles — and gives them back to put in my pocket.

And simple rituals fill me. They remind me that I’m not alone, that by moving through the mysterious spaces with intention and grace, I can come out on the other side.

The more sense I need to make of the world, the more I turn to ritual. In those moments where I say, I’M FINE REALLY I’M FINE.

(I’m not.)

I need to move through the space of story. Go back to the beginning. Feel it, say it, know. I need to move to the place of where I am now.

And then widen my heart enough to the next moment. Because it’s all a circle, a cycle, a stretch of path that reaches further and further out beyond my knowing.

***

I wish there was a neat way to end this. But really, there isn’t.

About Irisanya Moon

I’m a Witch. I’m a writer. I’m a priestess, teacher, drummer, feminist, and initiate in the Reclaiming tradition. I serve the gods, my community, and the Earth. I’ve called myself a Witch for nearly 20 years, and my life has been infused with magick. I am interested in shifting stories – the ones we tell ourselves and the ones that are told about us. I’m continuously inspired to engage as the storyteller and the story, the words and the spaces between. I am a devotee of Aphrodite, Hecate, the Norns, and Iris. I seek to find love and to inspire love by reminding us we are not alone, while also meeting myself at the crossroads, holding the threads of life, and bringing down messages from the gods. I am a Witch. You can read more about the author here.

Previous Post

January 11, 2019

Once Upon a Witch: Returning to Avalon, Singing to the Tor

Next Post

January 26, 2019 Rituals are Great, But Everyday Resourcing is Vital for Magick

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Activism ADHD Allies Altars Ancestors Aphrodite Artemis Beloved Dead Beltane Book Reviews Books Brigid Classes Community Daily Magick Daily Practice Deathwork Deity Desire Devotion Divination Dreams Eclipse Everyday Magick Fall Equinox Feri Full Moon Gaia Godds grief Grounding Heart Magick Hope Integration Iris Joy Love Spell Magick Mercury Retrograde Mighty Dead Moon Myth New Moon Norns Pandemic Poetry Practical Magick Priestess Reclaiming Relationships Resilience Resistance Resourcing review Rite of Passage ritual Samhain Self Care Self Devotion Service Shadow Spell Spiral Dance Spring Equinox Summer Solstice Teaching Trance Uncategorized Water Winter Solstice Witchcamp Witchcraft Writing

Select a Month April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz