Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Catholic
Harry Potter and the Infiltration of the Catholic Church

Harry Potter and the Infiltration of the Catholic Church

Last updated on: November 30, 2022 at 1:04 am by Mark Wilson

2 Comments

Harry Potter and the Infiltration of the Catholic Church 2022-11-30T01:04:42-05:00 Mark Wilson

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

As much as Covid, Racism, Riots, and the Upcoming Election are all very important I think it is high time we remember the real problem and danger to America and the world.

This alarming video just recently appeared on Youtube.

And this disturbing news from Forbes

Harry Potter fans in the U.K. can now purchase Butterbeer—one of the most iconic commodities of J.K. Rowling’s Wizarding World—in bottles, launched today at select Wizarding World locations.

Imagine promoting alcoholism and colostral consumption all in 1 bottle of deliciousness.

Recently the Catholic Bard has been given a secret confession obtained by the Papal Swift Swiss Ninjas. How they got this message is a mystery, like the prayers of the rosary, but I’m sure it was obtained by moral Catholic guidelines. If you call being tied to a chair and having to listen to modern Catholic Worship Music for 8 hours moral. My fellow Catholics and Christians, you will learn from this secret confession exactly why your suspicions about Harry Potter are true and why the Potter Haters are 110% correct and people like Potter lover Brandon Vogt is full of Chocolate Frogs.

Harry Potter Chocolate Frog Collector Plush by The Noble ...

It’s True.

We Neo-Catholics at the Secret Society of Modernists and Masons (SS O MAM) have a plan for destroying culture.

Our only agenda, get society, especially those darn Catholics to like Harry Potter. That is enough. LOL, LOL, LOL. Also get Catholics to fight about Harry Potter. LOL LOL LOL. Just the very words ‘Harry Potter’, will cause the ‘Christians of Love’ to become the Christians of ‘Condemnation and Ridicule Extraordinaire’ or CARE.

Never mind about getting folks to disrespect and trash our current pope. No not Benedict XI, Pope Michael, Pope Pius XIII or Cardinal Duretti.

Never mind getting them to say raciest, antisemitic or just dumb uncharitable things. Or statements like this…

By restoring the elementary good custom of wearing shoes indoors, we can make no small progress in defeating the casual Revolution that is continually destroying what little remains of the dignity of mankind. In doing so, we will restore some dignity to ourselves, our families, and our homes.
M. WilliamsPlease, Do Not Remove Shoes Indoors (13 May 2020) reignofmary.blogspot.com (Not Satire)

Never mind getting them to ignore legit church councils like The Old Catholics did over Vatican 1. Or the more recent one.

NOOOO. Harry Potter is the way to destroy the world and the church. LOL LOL LOL. Double destruction if they read or watch Harry Potter while doing yoga.

Pope Francis I’m told (source unknown, but maybe an exorcist) was found under the secret code name MugglePope777 posting his HP fan fiction online. ‘Harry Potter and Death Eaters in the Vatican.’ It would be very easy to get people riled up by making them think Pope Francis is going to make it a sacred text equal to the bible. LOL LOL LOL. Pope Francis taps into tech's higher power and helps write code ...

Pope Francis talking about his HP fan fiction to some admiring fans.

Our mole inside the white house overheard these words from President Trump.

I like Harry Potter. Harry Potter is a good book. I know good books. I write good books. Just look at my bestseller ‘The Art of the Deal’. Good books are a part of the Trump white house. But if I were to write Harry Potter it would be a better book and would have sold more copies then it already has.

Ignore stupid fluff like the ‘Chilling Adventures of Sabrina’, with actual occult and sexy stuff, or the WB reboot of lame tween teen themed Charmed. That’s not as dangerous as popular literary displays of magic aimed at children. And have them ignore Japanese depictions of witches such as Kiki’s Delivery Service and Mary and the Witch’s Flower. The reason is because that their just too darn good and they might take away from our Harry Potter plan. It’s not good to multitask with more than one evil scheme at a time. Everyone at our evil organization has ADHD OK. Don’t judge.

Unfortunately, the results of the Harry Potter infiltration are not as good as we had hoped. Our SS O MAM quidditch team is terrible and too many Tradies refuse to own a house-elf unless it speaks Latin. And people who use our demonic spells only manage to set houses on fire and turn people into rabbits for several minutes. On the plus side, many more people can do magic by wiggling their noses.

Bedknobs and broomsticks magic rabbit GIF on GIFER - by Dur Bewitched GIFs | Tenor

Who cares that Children’s author Philip Pullman said ‘I hope the wretched Catholic church will vanish entirely’. We want to focus on J.K. Rowling who said, “To me, the religious parallels have always been obvious,” But I never wanted to talk too openly about it because I thought it might show people who just wanted the story where we were going.” It doesn’t matter that she has a Christian background and no documentation being a witch because she’s a secret witch, which Fr. So and So found out after he asked a demon under the command of Christ to tell him so. And of course, a demon can’t lie under oath, a forgotten Catholic dogma that even the magisterium doesn’t know about.

So, to wrap this up, I confess to you SS O MAM’s secret plan. It is going to be much more effective than the Lord of the Rings Tarot Cards or the creepy lion from Narnia. Hopefully, that Catholic pop YouTube star will not document this devious plan in his sequel to his hit book. It would be called ‘Harry Potter and the Infiltration of the Catholic Church’.

P.S.

We need people to stay away from stuff like

Harry Potter and the Beatific Vision

It might get people thinking about God and spiritual things.

Harry Potter

Previous Post

September 11, 2020

Remembering Where You Were

Next Post

September 14, 2020 The Cross and Sorrows: Meditations

Recent Comments

2 Comments | Leave a Comment

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category 1889 abortion adoption Advent After Life Angles apologetics Art Awards BCCT bible book review books business Carmelite Catechetics Catholic Actors catholic authors Catholic Bard Catholic Faith Catholic List Catholic Rigorous Vortex Christian Authors Christmas church teaching civil conversation coronavirus Current Events death Different Religions Divine Mercy Easter Education encouragment Entertainment Eucharist Evangelization Event faith Family Life famous people feast day food Fun Stuff Global Church God guest post Harry Potter healing Heck of a Ride Around the Sun history holiday Holy Family Holy Orders Holy Spirit Holy Week hope Humor Interview Ireland Jesus kindle unlimited reflections Last Things Lecto Divina with Kristin Lent Lent/Easter liturgy love marriage Mary Meet the Author Mission Month in Advance Movie Review Movies Movies of the Month Music Narrative Older Writings patheos authors personal Philosophy podcasts poetry political Politics pope prayer Private Revelation pro-life public domain Quotes racial relations racism reflection Religious Life Saints science Scriptural Meditation social justice Social Media spirituality suffering supernatural theology Topics Travel Trivia Tweeting to the Choir Uncategorized universal church Vatican virtue war Week in Review women world religions writing Writing Write Now

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which chapter of Isaiah is sometimes called the "miniature Bible"?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Isaiah 12 Isaiah 66 Isaiah 53 Isaiah 40

Books by This Author Books by Catholic Bard

See All Titles »