Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Catholic Authenticity

Home
About
Books
Contact
Archives
Categories
- Beauty
- Current Events
- Faith
- Family
- Fiction
- Humour
- Identity
- Philosophy
- Sexuality
- Virtues
- Charity
- Chastity
- Humility
- Justice
- Poverty
- Wombats

Home
Catholic
5 Things I’m Obsessed With (Other Than Power)

5 Things I’m Obsessed With (Other Than Power)

Last updated on: October 12, 2018 at 3:55 pm by Melinda Selmys

5 Things I’m Obsessed With (Other Than Power) 2018-10-12T15:55:58-04:00 Melinda Selmys

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Apparently my old friend Austin Ruse has joined the chorus of people who think that I left the Catholic church because I’m obsessed with power. It’s a standard reply to feminists who want power-sharing in the church. “If you think the gospel is about power, you’ve got it wrong.”

So, I want to talk briefly about the difference between power-lust and empowerment. They both concern power, that’s true, but they don’t both involve grasping after power. It’s kind of like how sex is the content of both porn and chastity talks, but we don’t assume that listening to a lot of Christopher West means you’re consumed with lust.

Empowerment is about correcting abuses of power. It is to power as self-defence is to violence. If you’re not paying attention, or if you are the assailant, you might say “Well, the victim was violent too. Look at these bruises. Fault on both sides.” But the person who uses violence in self-defence doesn’t use violence because they like it, or because they’re obsessed with it, or because they suffer from blood-lust. They use violence because otherwise they or their loved ones will be harmed.

Empowerment is like that. It is the desire for enough power to prevent harm. I’m not talking here about some nebulous harm: amorphous feelings that I don’t have enough safe-space. I’m talking concrete harms.

Women in the church are deprived of the means of ensuring that we are not threatened with hellfire if we choose to avoid life-threatening pregnancies. We are often told to persevere in abusive marriages. To continue to have children past the point where it is good for us or for the children. To “offer it up” when the teachings of the church produce havoc and chaos in our lives. And we risk being bullied or taunted by priests and laypeople if we question this state of affairs.

Beyond the minimum power necessary for personal security, I’m not interested in it. Running an organization that lobbies the United Nations sounds dreadful. Having to reverse my anti-Trump stance and suck up to the Donald so I could be on his Catholic Advisory board sounds like literally my worst nightmare. I don’t think I could, in a million years, bring myself to unironically identify as a Knight.

It’s always curious when men who have spent there entire lives seeking power, cultivating powerful friends, and raising money to increase their power and influence insist that women are obsessed with power if we say “Hey, you know, I really don’t like you lording it over me and I want that to stop.” It’s almost like they’re projecting or something.

Now, I do have to grant my critics one thing: I do have an obsessive personality. I get really into things and then I get way over-excited about them. So for your enjoyment, education and edification I present a short list of things that Melinda Selmys is actually obsessed with:

1. Rome. Ancient Rome. I’m anti-imperialist, almost a pacifist, but I have an incomprehensible love of ancient battles. And Latin. And Roman food. And imperial politics. Also one of these days I’m going to ferment my own garum.

2. Star Trek. Specifically, TNG. When I was a teenager, I insisted that people call me “Kira,” after the character on DS9. I also got to appear on the Jumbotron with plasticine on my nose when “All Good Things” first aired. Recently rewatched TNG and realized how much of my base-line philosophy comes from Jean-Luc Picard. Kept thinking “Man, I thought I got that from Kierkegaard!”

3. Babies. I know, I know. But I really am one of those women who every time there’s a baby, or a picture of a baby, or a baby in the background of a movie, I’m like “Squeee!!!!!” It’s gotten worse now that I can’t have any more of my own. My almost 3 year old has taken up constantly telling me that “My’s not a baby! My’s a big boy!” But I still tell him he’s adorablicious about 500 times a day.

4. Language. I love words. I like to play with them and put them together in neat combinations and learn about their histories. I like foreign words and smutty words, sesquipedalian neologisms and simple Anglo-Saxonisms. I’m a magpie for slang. To me words are like LEGO only better.

5. The Kirkmans. Currently, I mostly use my words to build a world involving a modern Roman pagan family and an evil well that takes secrets out of the world. Kind of like a diabolical confessional. I work out my characters in ridiculous detail: like, I know exactly how Germanicus gets the fizz out of his RockStar so that he can quaff it in a single gulp, and how Catullus likes to listen to the click of his shoes in subway tunnels. I published Octavia, the first novel set in this world, about a year ago. (There’s also a Kindle Version now.) I’m working on the sequel whenever I’m not kissing my toddler.

Image courtesy of Pixabay.

Stay in touch! Like Catholic Authenticity on Facebook:

Catholic Authenticity

Previous Post

October 12, 2018

A Tale of Two Priests: On Authority

Next Post

October 19, 2018 No, Simcha, Dissent is Not Tantamount to Rape

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Abuse Beauty Charity Chastity Current Events Faith Family Feminism Fiction Humility Humour Identity Justice Perseverence Philosophy Poverty Sexuality trauma Uncategorized Virtues Wombats

Select a Month February 2020 November 2019 October 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz