Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Contemplative
After the Silence, or, the Long Process of Forming a Contemplative Life

After the Silence, or, the Long Process of Forming a Contemplative Life

Last updated on: January 4, 2019 at 10:40 pm by Carl "Skye" McColman

After the Silence, or, the Long Process of Forming a Contemplative Life 2019-01-04T22:40:32-04:00 Carl "Skye" McColman

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

So you’ve been to a centering prayer workshop or two, and now you participate in a weekly centering prayer group. You are committed to praying silently twice a day — at least most days. You go on retreat at a monastery or retreat center once or twice a year, and you meet with a spiritual director regularly. Contemplation has become a meaningful, sustainable part of your life.

Now what?

(Okay, I know many people are not there yet. And if you’re like me, even if you’ve been doing this for a while, you may feel your prayer is not nearly as disciplined or consistent as you would like it to be. But even if your relationship with contemplative prayer is haphazard and tenuous, the question still stands. What is the long term consequences of all this silent prayer business?)

My experience is that prayer changes things — but the “things” that prayer changes are mostly within me. I don’t pray to change God (as if), but rather to open my heart to allow the Spirit to change me. Even when I pray for some material good — like asking for a loved one to overcome an illness — the subtext of such a prayer is always “your will be done, God — and give me the grace to live according to your will.”

How, then, does silent prayer — prayer without words — result in change, even interior change? To answer this question requires faith — faith that the Holy Spirit works in our hearts at a level deeper than words (see Romans 8:26). We enter into silence as a way of praying because we believe that words cannot fully capture the depth of communication that we wish to lovingly offer God — or that God wishes to lovingly offer us. Silence is necessary because words sometimes get in the way.

But back to our question. What happens after we persevere in silent prayer for a season — or a lifetime?

Every human being is different and so is every life circumstance, so there is no one-size-fits-all roadmap of how silent prayer helps us to nurture a contemplative life. Nevertheless, I believe, based on my own life experience, the testimony of friends, and the wisdom of the great mystics, that a life which includes regular and sustained silent prayer — imperfect though it may be — can begin to yield spiritual fruit like the following.

Silence teaches us to have a mature faith — a faith grounded in mystery rather than in certainty. Every Sunday millions of Christians world wide recite the Creed, which begins (depending on the version) either with “I believe” or “We believe.” These words of faith matter to us because they shape us, they form us as followers of Christ and members of Christ’s body, the Church. But there is a point where words simply fail us. Faith is not the same thing as scientific proof — at the heart of faith necessarily we find mystery, a realm that cannot be rationally understood. It can only be intuitively embraced. Any God that could be comprehended by a finite human brain is a god too small to worship. Silence invites us to let go of the mind’s insistence on certainly, and instead enter into the heart’s openness to mystery: where love is the north star.

Silence invites us to be better listeners, and therefore, more compassionate. The Rule of Saint Benedict begins with that powerful word: Listen. Just watch the news on Fox or CNN and it becomes painfully obvious that we don’t know how to listen very well: we keep shouting over each other, especially when we disagree or feel something important is at stake. Contemplation subverts the willfulness of the egoic mind: when I listen, I am not invested in proving myself right, but rather in fostering a relationship with whoever it is I’m listening to. Compassion is the natural fruit of a heart-centered, rather than willfulness-centered, approach to life.

Silence calls us into a new, and more expansive, relationship with time. In silence there is no hurry. Anyone who has much experience with contemplative silent prayer sooner or later has the experience that the perception of time can be altered radically in silence. Sometimes it seems like the clock speeds up; other times it seems to slow way down. Clock-time, of course, remains consistent, but our perception of time determines whether we see time as a friend or a foe. In silence we learn to hold our perception of time as lightly as we hold any other thoughts, feelings, or perceptions. The end result: an increasing willingness to fully inhabit the present moment, neither worrying about the future nor regretting the past. In other words, we more fully inhabit our lives — which frees us to love, be loved, and find joy.

Silence gently encourages us to become less attached to our thoughts, our perspective, and indeed our very egos. Some contemplative writers talk a lot about the “false self” — I don’t particularly care for that terminol0gy because it strikes me as dualistic. Rather than judging our experience of the self as “true” or “false” I think it’s more useful to simply acknowledge that sometimes we become more enmeshed in blaming, judging, defending, and comparing, and other times less so. Silence helps us to find our way to that less-enmeshed place.

Silence gives us the spiritual nutrients necessary to foster a new way of seeing. Silence may be most intimately associated with the sense of hearing, but I believe it also teaches us to see differently as well, what Richard Rohr calls in his book The Naked Now “learning to see as the mystics seee.” How do the mystics see? With affirmation rather than condemnation, with discernment rather than judgment, with compassion rather than blame. Learning to see how the mystics see — which is to say, to see with the eyes of Love — is a lifelong process, and it comes in fits and starts with plenty of two-steps-forward-one-step-back moments. But perseverance in silence helps us along the path, slowly but compassionately.

The late Eugene Peterson wrote a book about contemplative discipleship with an evocative title: A Long Obedience in the Same Direction. Remember, spiritually speaking obedience means listening (to God) more than mere compliance. But the point is, this deep-listening which forms us into restoring the image and likeness of God in our lives is not a quick process, but rather a slow re-formation of the heart. Silence invites us to be patient in this long slow process. It helps us to recognize that the long journey is worth taking.

Enjoy reading this blog?
Click here to become a patron.

Previous Post

January 1, 2019

Silence is Not a Vow (Not Even for Monks)

Next Post

January 7, 2019 The Contemplative Life in Three Easy Steps

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Activism Announcements Art Books Catholicism Celtic Christianity Christian mysticism Christianity Contemplation Current events Etc. Family humor interfaith dialogue Interfaith Wisdom Interspirituality Lay Cistercians Living the Faith Meditation movies Mysticism Mystics nature Poetry Reviews Scripture silence Spirituality Uncategorized Writing

Select a Month February 2025 January 2025 November 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 March 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 August 2023 June 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 October 2013 September 2013 July 2013 May 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 March 2012 December 2011 September 2011 October 2010 August 2010 March 2010 September 2009 July 2008 January 2008 December 2007 September 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2004

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What was Jesus' profession before starting His ministry?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Tentmaker Carpenter Shepherd Fisherman

Support this
Column