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Befriending Silence: My Book on Cistercian Spirituality

Befriending Silence: My Book on Cistercian Spirituality

Last updated on: December 1, 2018 at 7:52 pm by Carl "Skye" McColman

Befriending Silence: My Book on Cistercian Spirituality 2018-12-01T19:52:40-04:00 Carl "Skye" McColman

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Abbot Francis Michael of the Monastery of the Holy Spirit. Photo by James Behrens, OCSO

Dear friends, I’m excited to announce the title and subject of my forthcoming book.

In July 2013 I began a conversation with an editor associated with Ave Maria Press about writing a book grounded in Cistercian spirituality. If you’re not familiar with it, this is the spirituality of Cistercian monks and nuns — including mystics like Thomas Merton, Bernard of Clairvaux, and Beatrice of Nazareth. The contemplative prayer movement in Christianity today has its roots at least partially in the Cistercian tradition. Some people are more familiar with the name “Trappist” — Trappists are one branch of the Cistercian family.

The conversation moved slowly, not only because of the normal demands of my schedule, but because of my daughter Rhiannon’s needs — the summer and fall of 2013 she was in and out of the hospital, culminating in her entering in-home hospice in January 2014. Thankfully, the editor never gave up on me, and in a series of phone conversations and email exchanges, the book gradually began to take shape.

Since I’m a Lay Cistercian, and not a monk, the book is written for all of us “ordinary” folks who probably will never be monks or nuns (I say “probably” because it’s always possible that some of my readers may go on to enter the cloister, but I’m assuming most readers won’t). For that matter, chances are most people who read this book would never become Lay Cistercians either, although hopefully some will. So the main purpose of this book is to introduce my readers to a beautiful but largely hidden spirituality, which has been forged and formed for over 900 years inside the cloistered world of the monastery. But this is not a history book — it’s written so that it can speak to the needs and concerns and aspirations of people from all walks of life — men and women, young and old, rich and poor, Catholic and Protestant, even Christian and non-Christian.

Does Cistercian spirituality have something to offer to everyone?

I believe it does. So that is the driving idea behind this book.

In the Cistercian world, the term used to describe the character of Cistercian spirituality is “Cistercian Charism” — a lovely idea, since “charism” literally means “gift.” With this in mind, it seemed natural to make this key theme of gift central to my book.

But what gift(s) does Cistercian spirituality offer, not just to monks and nuns or Lay Cistercians, but to the world at large? Several thoughts kept coming up:

The monastics of the Cistercian tradition live in a way that is wholly ordered to contemplation.
Along those lines, a key characteristic of Cistercian spirituality is a life immersed in silence.
Cistercians value community and the “glue” that holds community together, compassion.
The monks and nuns gather multiple times each day to chant the Divine Office, a beautiful and ancient form of prayer.
The tradition values stability and love of the land — qualities embedded in the earthy virtue of humility.

But how to organize this book? The answer came from a quotation of Saint Bernard of Clairvaux that I found in an essay written by one of my favorite Trappist writers, Michael Casey. He pointed out that in Bernard’s treatise On the Steps of Humility and Pride, the great medieval mystic and theologian makes a comment about the “three steps of truth”:

These are the three steps of truth. We ascend the first by striving to be humble, the second by compassion, the third in the ecstasy of contemplation. In the first, Truth is discovered to be severe; in the second, holy; in the third, pure. Reason leads to the first, in which we think about ourselves. Affection leads to the second, in which we think about others. Purity leads to the third, in which we are lifted up to see what is out of sight. (source: Bernard of Clairvaux, Selected Works, page 116)

That was my eureka moment. In this short passage, I found the entire sweep and splendor of Cistercian spirituality summarized in three logical steps. We begin in a place of self-interest, but are invited to know ourselves in truth and simplicity: the step of humility. From there we are called to love others, to form and be formed in community, through compassion; and as we grow in the love of self and neighbor, we are invited still higher, in mystical contemplation of the highest love of all, the love of God.

Does this sound like mainstream Christian spirituality to you? It should — for Cistercian spirituality is really just a lovely, simple, silent path we may follow, one way to more faithfully follow Christ.

The Abbey Church of the Monastery of the Holy Spirit. Photo by Haven Sweet

As the book’s concept and outline began to take shape, I received a tremendous blessing from the monks of the Monastery of the Holy Spirit (the monastery where I am a Lay Cistercian). I was granted permission to use the Abbey library. So I spent a number of days last summer writing and researching in the library; I was there during the day while the monks were at work, so I was generally all alone, enjoying the silence and trying to stay focussed on which books and periodicals would be most helpful for my project (there were so many to choose from!).

When Rhiannon died in August 2014, naturally the book was put on hold for several weeks. But when I returned to it, the writing proved to be a meaningful way for me to walk through my grief. One of the many lessons I’ve learned from the monks over the years is not to be afraid of death; and while losing my daughter was painful beyond measure, it also was a profound experience of deepening my faith and finding gratitude in the midst of my mourning. All of that seemed to be honored and soothed by my striving to complete the book.

I submitted the manuscript to my editor on November 21, 2014 — only three weeks late! — and immediately she and I began an intensive back-and-forth of editing, polishing, and rewriting. I shared the book with a dozen readers, both lay and monastic, and received tremendous feedback.

Fast forward to the present: the book is still being edited — we’re going through the last round of copy-editing, and then it will go into layout and final proofreading — but it’s close enough to being finished that we have begun the process of contacting well-known authors to ask them to read the manuscript and possibly write a brief endorsement.

Currently the book is scheduled for publication in November 2015. That might change, of course, so don’t hold me to it. But barring some unforeseen circumstance, that’s the plan.

So what is the book’s title? Well, we’ve gone through a long process of determining what to call it. My editor and I, along with the marketing team at Ave Maria, bounced a number of ideas back and forth, but nothing grabbed us — or, at least, all of us. It wasn’t until the manuscript was complete, and folks were reading it, that inspiration finally hit in a way we could all say “yes.” So here it is:

Befriending Silence: Discovering the Gifts of Cistercian Spirituality

I don’t have a cover design to show you yet — that’s still in production. The book hasn’t been assigned an ISBN yet or given its own page at Amazon, so I can’t provide you with a link for pre-orders. But if you haven’t done so already, please sign up for my email list. I’ll keep you informed about the book’s progress, including cover art and when it’s possible to place pre-orders.

Do you like the title? Please let me know. And thanks for reading my blog. I hope you’ll read Befriending Silence when it comes out — I hope that it will bless you as much in reading it, as it has blessed me in writing it.

Update, March 28, 2015: Amazon.com is now accepting pre-orders of this book.

If you’d like to pre-order it, click here.

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Further update: Here’s the book cover:

Explore Trappist/Cistercian Spirituality

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