An Accident and its Aftermath

Last updated on: November 24, 2018 at 4:55 pm by Carl "Skye" McColman

An Accident and its Aftermath 2018-11-24T16:55:00-04:00 Carl "Skye" McColman

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

What was left of my car.

In the summer of 1992, I was in a rather nasty car accident.

It left me with a jaw broken in several places, a few missing teeth, lacerations along one arm, and a totaled vehicle. After surgery (leaving my mouth wired shut for six weeks — no easy feat for this enthusiastic speaker) and the purchase of a shiny new Saturn sedan, I met with my spiritual director to sort out my feelings. There I was, a young man who just had a brush, if not with death, at least with what could have been a far more serious incident. What meaning could I squeeze out of such a turn of events?

On the surface, I felt like I was living a wonderful life. I was dating a lovely woman, enjoying a successful career managing a bookshop at a wonderful college, living in a beautiful cottage tucked in the woods of Tennessee’s Cumberland Plateau, and feeling nothing but confidence about my future. And then I got a few teeth knocked out of my mouth — and, perhaps, some sense knocked in to me. For, I suppose like many people do, I had given up (or paid scant attention to) some dreams in order to pursue others. Is that a bad thing? Probably not. But in the aftermath of my accident, it was time to re-think just how I was steering the course of my life.

I realized that two key elements of my life so far were starving for lack of attention. I loved to write, but was “so busy” living my fun, carefree life that I barely bothered to keep a personal journal, let alone write for others. Perhaps even more crucial, I hungered for intimacy with God — an intimacy I knew could be fostered by prayer, meditation, and contemplation, thanks to a rather dramatic experience of God’s presence I had when I was a teenager, followed by several formative classes in Christian spirituality taken at the Shalem Institute shortly after I finished my degree. Like my writing, spirituality was something I said was important to me, but in all honesty I had not made much of an effort to practice a daily commitment to prayer.

The Aftermath

Writing and prayer. Word and silence. Wisdom and emptiness. These two neglected longings in my soul were what I most yearned to make a real part of my life. As a friend I would meet a decade later would say, these two things “had me in their confidence.” It’s not so much that I wanted to pray and I wanted to write — it’s more that writing and prayer wanted me.

So I wrote. And I prayed. And I sat in silence. And I tried to do these things every day. None of it was perfect, but I learned to be okay with imperfection. And within five years of the accident, my first book was published, a rather generic meditation on the spiritual life called, appropriately enough, Spirituality. More books followed, covering a wide range of interests and perspectives on the inner life at the turn of the millennium. For a few years I turned away from the faith of my childhood and explored the colorful world of Goddess spirituality and Celtic paganism, spurring in me a deep respect for interfaith dialogue but also leaving me thirsty for the profound wisdom of the Christian mystics and contemplatives, whom I had followed ever since reading Evelyn Underhill’s Mysticism while in college. So like the prodigal son I returned to my spiritual home and found refuge in an unlikely place: at a Trappist monastery some twenty miles from my home (having moved to Georgia when that lovely woman and I married). Drawn to the Abbey’s silence and blessed by friendships with a number of the monks, I shyly took steps to formalize the relationship by making a profession as a Lay Cistercian. But tending to prayer did not mean giving up writing. Early on during the five years I spent in Lay Cistercian formation, I heard a talk on writing by Anne Lamott where she counseled her listeners to “write the book you wish you could have read.” So I did just that; and the publisher gave it a whimsical title: The Big Book of Christian Mysticism.

When the book came out, I discovered I was not alone. Many people, both inside and outside the boundaries of the institutional church, hunger for that intimacy with God that the wisdom of the mystics points us to. The more I meet people who share my hunger for the God who comes to us in mystery and silence, the more convinced I am that contemplation is not just for monks, or nuns, or the especially holy. It’s for all of us. In the book, I call contemplation “Christianity’s best-kept secret.” And so I think I have at last found my vocation: to help get the word out.

So I still write, and I still pray, every day — or most days — always by the grace of God. These days I also speak and teach and lead retreats whenever I am asked to do so. My life is, easily, more wonderful than ever. I have to wear a bite guard every night because after all those years, my jaw still bothers me. But it seems to be a small price to pay for the blessings that continue to flow in my life.

Enjoy reading this blog?
Click here to become a patron.

Previous Post

September 4, 2011

"Where Two or Three Are Gathered"

Next Post

March 30, 2012 With Great Reverence and Above Reason

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Activism Announcements Art Books Catholicism Celtic Christianity Christian mysticism Christianity Contemplation Current events Etc. Family humor interfaith dialogue Interfaith Wisdom Interspirituality Lay Cistercians Living the Faith Meditation movies Mysticism Mystics nature Poetry Reviews Scripture silence Spirituality Uncategorized Writing

Select a Month February 2025 January 2025 November 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 March 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 August 2023 June 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 October 2013 September 2013 July 2013 May 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 March 2012 December 2011 September 2011 October 2010 August 2010 March 2010 September 2009 July 2008 January 2008 December 2007 September 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2004

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What does the voice in Revelation 6 say about food prices?

Select your answer to see how you score.

No one will go hungry A day's wages for a measure of wheat Free food for all Food will be multiplied

Support this
Column