Asking for Help

Last updated on: June 30, 2010 at 2:55 am by Katrina

Asking for Help 2010-06-30T02:55:54-06:00 Katrina

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

A couple of weeks ago, we were having a great discussion about burnout, both with respect to the parents and the children in our families. Many of you made some very thoughtful comments, and I appreciated everyone’s honest and encouraging words.

One of the comments that struck a particular chord with me was written by Juris Mater, regarding hiring help for Mom:

“I have said this before, but I don’t think that hiring help should be an upperclass privilege. I think that setting money aside to hire help for mom is possibly the second most important financial commitment to tithing that a family can make. Tithing is a matter of obedience and abandonment, for the soul of the family. Hiring help for mom is a matter of keeping the heart of the family healthy and thriving.”

Right on, Juris Mater! My husband will be the first person to tell you that I have a hard time asking for help, but I think that I have gotten much better with the addition of each child to our family, out of sheer necessity and through the example of wise mothers whom I respect greatly. After our newest baby was born just four months ago, I realized that I was going to need some help cleaning the house, and it was absolutely wonderful to not worry about those responsibilities for the first couple of months! Now, I have hired a wonderful woman to help me with the children a couple of times a week so that I can clean the house (yes, that’s how much I need a break from my kids!) and run other errands, sometimes with the baby but always without the older children. It’s been great so far. It takes some careful planning on my part, and it took some thought in terms of finding the person who was a good fit for our family, but I think that it has been a great decision so far. Also, I have hired a “mother’s helper” to help me at the pool with my toddler, so that I can tend to the baby and watch my 6 year-old. My mother’s helper is only 10 years old, but she is very attentive and only charges $2 an hour – what could be better!

I am pretty confident that taking action and asking for help with my children has benefited not only me, but also those around me. My husband is relieved knowing that I am getting a break from the children a couple of times a week, so if he has an especially tough week at work and isn’t as available to help, at least he knows that I’m not depending solely on him for a break. It also leaves us more time on the weekends to enjoy time together as a family when I can get chores done during the week. I also think that my friends and close neighbors are relieved to know that I have some help: they see the day-to-day stressors on our family, and have commented that they feel badly that they can’t be more helpful to me. Everyone is busy with their own lives, and it can be hard to integrate another family’s needs into the fabric of another family’s life. Although we might rely on neighbors and close friends to help us out when we are in crisis mode (i.e. a child has to be taken to the emergency room or there has been a death in the family), I do believe that we shouldn’t assume that friends who seem “less busy” will be able to take on the responsibility of caring for our children on a regular basis.

In any case, I am writing this post to encourage all of you stay-at-home mothers out there to ask for help when you need a break. It’s perfectly acceptable to need some time away from the children, even if only for a couple of hours a week. I think that it’s also healthy for children to see that mommy has things that she needs to go and do on her own – children like knowing that their parents have interests that don’t relate directly to them, and it can broaden the scope of the entire family’s perspective. Even if all that you can afford is a gym membership that offers good quality childcare, at least the children will see that mommy exercises for her own health and well-being.

God bless all of you today! Mary, Mother of Good Counsel, pray for us!

Motherhood and Parenting

Previous Post

June 28, 2010

Kiddy Catechesis

Next Post

June 30, 2010 A Little More on Abandonment...

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Builders' Favorite Posts Children Education & Homeschool Food and Nutrition Health Home Organization Inside Our Inbox Keeping It Real Liturgical Seasons Marriage Miscellaneous Motherhood and Parenting Nature and the Environment NFP and Fertility Politics and Current Events Pregnancy Recipes Spiritual Life The Catholic Church Thoughts for Thursday Uncategorized

Select a Month April 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which letter is addressed "to the twelve tribes in the Dispersion"?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Jude James Galatians 2 John