Learning to say No

Last updated on: May 12, 2009 at 1:02 pm by Bethany "B-mama"

Learning to say No 2009-05-12T13:02:00-06:00 Bethany "B-mama"

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You all need to celebrate with me today because it is a momentous day in my life.

Today I have officially TURNED DOWN a leadership position in a mothers organization in which I participate.

It was so hard. But it was so necessary.

Saying “No” to commitments and tasks is not easy for a lot of folks, especially for this gal. I am a people-pleaser by nature and hate letting others down. Most of the time, I am generally interested in whatever position I’m considering. I say “yes” and enjoy myself. The end result, though, is always the same–feeling swamped, overwhelmed and overcommitted. I’ve lived this way most of my life. These days those sentiments affect not only me, but most importantly my precious family. That’s when saying “yes” becomes selfish and prideful and hurtful. And that’s when the buck stops.

Three weeks ago I got a reality check through a diagnosis that sent me reeling: Mononucleosis. I was a 30-year-old mom to three young boys with mono. The doc asked if I had felt tired recently. I laughed and replied, “Ma’am, I have three boys under 4. I’m always tired.” Our family has limped along since, getting much needed help from family and learning some valuable lessons about ourselves, our limits, and God’s great Mercy. We’re pretty sure the worst is behind us, thanks be to God.

In addition to all of this, my “yes” husband has also recently declined an invitation to lead our church’s Knights of Columbus group. He was very honored, but also honest in his response, sharing with the men his own tendency to overcommit and his need to prioritize family right now. A busy job leaves little spare time for a father to devote to the ones he loves! I am so proud of him for making such a decision–it was also hard for him to refuse, yet led me toward making a similar choice with regard to my group.

Last night I scurried around the kitchen getting ready for the mothers’ group monthly meeting. My table was responsible for the food, so I whipped up a couple dishes as I fed dinner to the kids and marveled at my completely dirty kitchen. I had less than a loving attitude because of my stress and found myself curtly responding to the kids’ requests.

Needless to say, my decision to say, “No” has been resoundingly affirmed.
Thank you today, Lord, for the strength to prioritize my primary vocation in the home!

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