Demystifying the Allure of the Foreign

Last updated on: November 15, 2008 at 1:52 pm by sullijo

Demystifying the Allure of the Foreign 2008-11-15T13:52:00-06:00 sullijo

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

As of today, we have been in Germany for two full months. We still don’t have our furniture or our winter clothes, but regardless, it has been two months.

I have been reflecting a lot on the cultural differences between the United States and Europe – trying to walk that fine line between stereotyping and ignoring the subtleties. One lesson that I am working hard to teach myself is that just because something is foreign does not make it right. This may strike some of you as painfully obvious or basic, but for me it was not.

I think you know what I mean: the allure of the exotic, the drive to be “accepting of other cultures”, the desire to blend in in a new culture. I didn’t realize it at first, but these three factors were profoundly affecting me in our early days in Germany and, consequently, clouding my judgment.

The three big issues for me as an American mommy raising a family in Europe are: 1)family planning 2)fashion and 3)schooling.

#1 – Germans don’t have more than two kids. It is a social taboo. People with three draw stares, I can’t even imagine how they would gape at Mary Alice. It is nearly impossible to find any car that seats more than four people somewhat comfortably. I rationalized this at first — cost of living is higher, gas is expensive, they have smaller homes and less land for their people. Ok, the bottom line is the same, there must be some aggressive unnatural birth control going on in this country for every family to look the same and a certain amount of sacrifice can make large families possible in any culture.
#2 – Germans dress to impress, but this comes with a price tag. They look good all the time, and their kids look great too. I am not talking high quality stuff, I am talking children’s dresses with attached purses, toddler boys in leather coats. This resulted in a certain amount of covetousness on my part. I found myself urging my husband to indulge the family in new clothing even though our clothes are perfectly fine. These Euro-families make be at the peak of style, but quality, comfort and cleanliness should remain my key values in clothes selection.
#3 – The idea of sending my 4 yr. old daughter to German “pre-Kinder” was immensely appealing. I mean, after all, Germans invented Kindergarten. She would learn the language, I would meet other German mommies, it would help us assimilate all around. I toyed with this for weeks and weeks. I talked to mothers of preschoolers in English schools and German schools. While I talked, I continued my nascent homeschooling attempts, we took nature walks, we visited Daddy at the dining hall for lunch as a family. Then it hit me, wait a minute, just because those kids and parents and children are speaking a different language does not mean anything else will be different than in a typical North American pre-school. I would still be handing my young impressionable child over to strangers at a really young age, I would still be opening her up to the values of children and families which I do not condone. It would still be interrupting the routine of her younger brother and putting us all in the car for many hours a day instead of at home or out in the beautiful German town nearby. Done, no school, not yet.

In conclusion, I love Germany. This was the right decision for our family at this juncture. We are learning a lot about history and efficiency and courtesy. But our values are our values, no matter where in the world we may be and it is my job to safeguard that foundation for my children.

Uncategorized

Previous Post

November 14, 2008

Late Fall To-Do List

Next Post

November 16, 2008 The Feast of St. Nicholas

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Builders' Favorite Posts Children Education & Homeschool Food and Nutrition Health Home Organization Inside Our Inbox Keeping It Real Liturgical Seasons Marriage Miscellaneous Motherhood and Parenting Nature and the Environment NFP and Fertility Politics and Current Events Pregnancy Recipes Spiritual Life The Catholic Church Thoughts for Thursday Uncategorized

Select a Month April 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

In Revelation, what does John eat that is sweet in his mouth but sour in his stomach?

Select your answer to see how you score.

A little scroll The word of God A sealed book Honey