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Jesus and Lao Tzu: Allowing Your Enemies

Jesus and Lao Tzu: Allowing Your Enemies

Last updated on: August 23, 2026 at 12:42 pm by Gregory T. Smith

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Jesus and Lao Tzu: Allowing Your Enemies 2026-08-23T12:42:28-08:00 Gregory T. Smith

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Jesus said, “Love your enemies,” which sounds like idealism until you watch what hate does when it’s resisted with more hate: it multiplies.

The Tao does not challenge. It does not provoke. It offers a way of peace. (Image created by Gregory T. Smith on OpenAI)

Love doesn’t excuse harm; it interrupts the cycle. There’s a parallel kind of insight in the Tao: what’s over-tightened snaps; what’s over-extended collapses. Allowing isn’t surrender to evil, it’s refusing to feed it.

Think about rivers that are hemmed in by levees, roaring higher and faster until they break. Give rivers wide floodplains and they spread out, slow down, and quietly return to source. The Tao points to that kind of wisdom: space that weakens frenzy, patience that undoes false pride, and generosity that returns what you feared losing. What follows in verse thirty-six is the Tao’s pattern for unbinding torrential power.

Lao Tzu’s Tao Te Ching, Verse 36 (McDonald Version)

If you want something to return to the source,
you must first allow it to spread out.
If you want something to weaken,
you must first allow it to become strong.
If you want something to be removed,
you must first allow it to flourish.
If you want to possess something,
you must first give it away.

This is called the subtle understanding
of how things are meant to be.

The soft and pliable overcomes the hard and inflexible.

Just as fish remain hidden in deep waters,
it is best to keep weapons out of sight.

Letting Go and Allowing

This verse is all about letting go and allowing. As children, we are taught to achieve, overcome, impress others, and rise to the top. Then we develop our strengths and climb the corporate ladder, even if it means stepping on a few others. Overcome obstacles by force of will. You’re the best, so be the best!

Yet Lao Tzu reframes that whole approach. “If you want something to return to the source, you must first allow it to spread out. If you want something to weaken, you must first allow it to become strong. If you want something to be removed, you must first allow it to flourish. If you want to possess something, you must first give it away.” These four statements seem contradictory to popular wisdom.

Allow the Spread

Say you’ve got a large puddle of water. Conventional wisdom says you should get a mop and a bucket, contain it, and dump it down the drain, shrinking it to return it to its source. Taoist wisdom flips that instinct: allow the puddle to expand so it becomes shallower as it spreads. Soon it evaporates on its own.

So it is with our enemies. “Pride goes before destruction,” says the book of Proverbs, “and a haughty spirit before a fall.” If you want something to go away, don’t wrestle it into tighter holds; allow it to expand until it stretches itself too thin and evaporates. If you want something to weaken, you must first allow it to become strong. Even the greatest of empires collapses when strained by over-expansion. So, let your enemy overreach. They will fall into the holes they have dug for themselves.

Allow the Full Strength

Here’s another way of seeing this: if you want something to weaken, first recognize its strength. Addiction, for example, is like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. No one overcomes addiction by minimizing it. They must bring its destructive power into full awareness. This is not to say you should allow the addiction itself to become stronger. Rather, recognize your powerlessness and reach out for your Higher Power. Only by bringing its full strength into view do you begin to loosen its grip.

Allow Flourishing

“If you want something to be removed, you must first allow it to flourish.” Vaccinations are injections of a small amount of a weakened virus. On the surface, it doesn’t make sense to intentionally expose yourself to a virus. But when your body receives a vaccination, it develops the antibodies to the greater and scarier disease. So, if you want COVID to be removed, a COVID vaccination trains the body against it, allowing a small, controlled exposure so the larger threat is impeded.

Give Away to Have Enough

“If you want to possess something, you must first give it away.” This also seems contradictory. But like the boy with the five loaves and two fishes, you rarely have “enough” until you start to share. This is true with love, knowledge, influence, and even pleasure. It may seem contrary to reason, but it’s true. If you want to possess something, open your hand.

It’s easy to become overwhelmed by greed and desire for a thing. The more you want it, the more it eludes you. Better to detach yourself from achieving, acquiring, and owning. This is why Jesus said, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” In other words, the less you strive after the things of the world, the more you will have all you need. The more you seek the spiritual, the more your physical needs will be met. Lao Tzu says, “This is called the subtle understanding of how things are meant to be. The soft and pliable overcomes the hard and inflexible.” Notice the same dynamic: loosen the grip, and you gain the greatest good.

A Way of Peace

The next phrase of this verse offers an illustration. I used to live in a US state that allowed open carry firearms without a license. Anyone could walk through town with a handgun on their hip or a rifle slung over their shoulder. Some believe that open carry works as a deterrent against assault: if someone intent on harm can see you are carrying, they won’t attack. However, others prefer to get a license to carry concealed. I observe that, even though they are also carrying weapons, these people experience more peace. When you carry a weapon openly, folks can take it as either a threat or as a challenge. Yet those who carry concealed refrain from provoking anyone. And the truest way to ‘keep weapons out of sight’ is simply to leave them locked away at home, where they cannot amplify fear or turn a tense moment into a dangerous one.

The Tao’s image points the same direction, describing a fish hidden in deep waters. It doesn’t go poking its nose where it doesn’t belong. It doesn’t win by challenging the angler, jumping out of the waters, and shouting, “You can’t catch me!” Instead, it wins by keeping to the depths and avoiding conflict altogether. The Tao does not challenge. It does not provoke. It offers a way of peace. This is what Jesus meant when he said those who would gain their life, must lose it. Promote others rather than yourself. Give room rather than grasp. Allow others to expand.

Keep to Your Own Place

Three times in this verse, Lao Tzu says that if you want something, you have to allow its opposite. Allow things to return to their source by spreading out. Allow things to be strong. And allow things to flourish. Many Christian movements have defined themselves by what they stand against. Churches picket, protest, and boycott anything they believe stands against their principles. Yet the Savior knows the way peace is best. Allow the world its way, and the world is likelier to allow you yours. Keep to your own place, like a fish hidden in deep waters. This is the best way to live in peace.

Pray…

O Allowing One,

You who cause the rain to fall on the righteous and unrighteous

and permit the water to follow its course to the sea,

teach me the wisdom of release.

When I want to fight, remind me to wait.

When I want to grasp, remind me to give.

When I want to strike back against my enemy,

teach me to let them flourish until their own pride undoes them.

In You, softness defeats hardness,

strength yields before those who surrender,

and those who give often find themselves blessed.

Walking in the Way of your Peace,

may I permit instead of provoke,

and rest instead of resist.

May I learn the power of “Yes,”

so that I, too, may be an Allowing One.

Amen.

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About Gregory T. Smith

I live in the beautiful Fraser Valley of British Columbia and work in northern Washington State as a behavioral health specialist with people experiencing homelessness and those who are overly involved in the criminal justice system. Before that, I spent over a quarter-century as lead pastor of several Virginia churches. My newspaper column, “Spirit and Truth,” ran in Virginia newspapers for fifteen years. I am one of fourteen contributing authors of the Patheos/Quoir Publishing book “Sitting in the Shade of Another Tree: What We Learn by Listening to Other Faiths.” I hold a degree in Religious Studies from Virginia Commonwealth University and also studied at Baptist Theological Seminary at Richmond. My wife Christina and I have seven children between us, and we are still collecting grandchildren. You can read more about the author here.

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