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Don’t Kill the Messenger: Lessons in Listening

Don’t Kill the Messenger: Lessons in Listening

Last updated on: August 15, 2024 at 3:10 am by Gregory T. Smith

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Don’t Kill the Messenger: Lessons in Listening 2024-08-11T11:38:40-08:00 Gregory T. Smith

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Those who bring the worst news into our lives can be our most valuable teachers. It’s important not to kill the messenger.

“Salome with the Head of John the Baptist” by Caravaggio (1610)

We’ve all heard the expression, “Don’t kill the messenger.” Usually, you hear it from someone who is bringing you unwelcome news. They know you’ll be upset, and they don’t want you to take your anger out on them. Of course, this comes from a long tradition of kings doing just that—venting their frustration on couriers bearing difficult news.

If I’m honest with myself, there are probably times in my life when I have done exactly that. No, I didn’t pull a trigger or swing a sword. But I’ve definitely taken my frustrations out on those who didn’t deserve it, because they told me something I didn’t want to hear. Haven’t you?

Herod Killed the Messenger

In Luke’s Gospel, King Herod killed the messenger. John the Baptizer was a prophet who foretold the coming of the anointed one who might threaten Herod’s reign. John also criticized Herod’s decision to marry his own brother’s wife. Long story short, John’s critical message ended up costing him his head. Luke 9:7-9 says:

When Herod Antipas, the ruler of Galilee, heard about everything Jesus was doing, he was puzzled. Some were saying that John the Baptist had been raised from the dead. Others thought Jesus was Elijah or one of the other prophets risen from the dead. “I beheaded John,” Herod said, “so who is this man about whom I hear such stories?” And he kept trying to see him.

One has to ask, If Herod thought Jesus was John raised from the dead, why would he keep trying to see Jesus? Maybe he realized that he’d loosed his anger on the one person who had been the most honest with him, and he regretted it. Maybe, after realizing his mistake, he wanted to hear more of what this messenger had to say.

When God Speaks

When God speaks, we often stop our ears, not wanting to hear the message. When someone is critical of us, we want to kill the messenger. But maybe the people who are the most difficult are also the people God has sent into our lives to teach us the lessons we don’t want to learn.

You can kick a person out of your life for telling you a hard truth. Yet, if God is trying to tell you something, another messenger will pop up and give you the same message. That’s what happened to Herod. And maybe when he was seeking out Jesus, it was because he had learned from his mistakes enough to seek out the source of his frustration instead of running from it.

What message has God given you, that you didn’t want to hear? How have you avoided, ignored, or even been nasty to the people that God used to convey that message? Here’s a hint: If you don’t like the message you’re hearing, learn from it so God won’t have to keep repeating the lesson.

Repeating the Lesson

Here’s a secret not everybody knows: I took Algebra 1 four times. I passed it with a D the first time in high school, but figured I couldn’t build on that kind of poor foundation. So, I took it a second time and passed with a C. Then, in my first year in college I tested into Algebra 1. I decided to take a self-paced, self-taught class, and (wouldn’t ya know), because I didn’t like it, I didn’t do well. So, I had to take it a fourth time.

Maybe if I’d paid attention to what Mrs. Hodges taught me the first time, I’d have learned and moved on. Instead, I made excuses. I killed the messenger, saying, “This teacher is terrible! She’s confusing! She doesn’t care if I learn or not!” But I was wrong. Not only was she my teacher, but she was also my friend’s mother and cared about me very much. She took time out of her schedule to help me after class. But I didn’t listen. Instead, if I’d focused on what I needed to learn, I’d have had much better success.

Don’t Kill the Messenger

Do you find you’re getting the same lesson over and over again, just from different teachers? Maybe it’s time to crack open your textbook, turn on your listening ears, and learn. Don’t kill the messenger who brings a hard truth in life. They might just be your greatest teacher.

For related reading, check out my other articles:

General Christian

Relationships and Religion

Religious Art

For Pastors

Spirituality

Don't kill the messenger

John the Baptist

John the Baptizer

Listening to your enemies

Repeating lessons

About Gregory T. Smith

I live in the beautiful Fraser Valley of British Columbia and work in northern Washington State as a behavioral health specialist with people experiencing homelessness and those who are overly involved in the criminal justice system. Before that, I spent over a quarter-century as lead pastor of several Virginia churches. My newspaper column, “Spirit and Truth” ran in Virginia newspapers for fifteen years. I am one of fourteen contributing authors of the Patheos/Quoir Publishing book “Sitting in the Shade of another Tree: What We Learn by Listening to Other Faiths.” I hold a degree in Religious Studies from Virginia Commonwealth University, and also studied at Baptist Theological Seminary at Richmond. My wife Christina and I have seven children between us, and we are still collecting grandchildren. You can read more about the author here.

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