Suicide and Ministry

Last updated on: December 7, 2013 at 3:00 pm by Billy Kangas

Suicide and Ministry 2013-12-07T15:00:25-04:00 Billy Kangas

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

This morning I am still recovering from some shocking news I received. This past week a friend of mine from Seminary took her own life. She was a very kind women and one who loved Jesus deeply. She had felt the call to give her life in service of serving Jesus through serving others. She was a voice for justice and a preacher of the Gospel. She was a friend, and I feel the loss sharply today. Like myself, she was also a blogger. I wandered over to her blog today hoping in some way to try to make sense of what happened, although I knew I could never fully understand. Her last post reveals a bit of the struggle that I now know she lived with. It details her own reflections on how to help pastors who are struggling to keep the will to live, as she reflects on another minster named Teddy Parker, who took his own life last month. I thought I would share this bit of wisdom about how to care for our brothers and sisters in ministry. You will be missed, may the Lord lead you into his loving embrace. Here are the responses she encouraged us to make to help support pastors and leaders:

1. Give people permission and space to say “I’m not ok.”

2. Be a “safe person.” Meaning, when someone musters up courage to bare their souls and expose their hearts, be trustworthy, be loving and nonjudgmental and if you can, resourceful.

See pastors as “people who pastor” rather than “pastors who are people.” There is a difference. If pastor was no longer the profession, she/he would still be a person. Experientially I have been a staff minister (paid & volunteer) and in a few instances what I did/my work was important but my person/who I am did not. That’s enough to send anyone over the edge. Value people not simply positions.

Don’t assume the worst about people who end their lives. Ending their lives does not make them bad people. They are not selfish people. They are not weak people. They are not crazy people, they are not demon possessed. They are not Hell bound. They are people whose hope ran out, people who tried until they could try no longer. They are people who live with an illness, yes it is an illness, some illness is physical & some illness is mental. They are people who would have continued to live if they could. And most likely, it hurt them deeply to have to leave those they love.

5. Check in on people. It’s not enough to be aware of a person’s struggle and distance yourself from them, waiting for the next time they reach out to you or if it’s a leader just wait for their faith to kick in. Check in from time to time, ask how they are doing, be a friend.

Remember that it is not necessary nor appropriate for you to fill every space or moment with your words. Presence is a priceless gift to offer, just be there.

Some situations don’t need a bible verse. Nuff said.

The absence of a smile does not equate to the absence of faith, but often an indicator of pain.

The presence of a smile does not equate joy and the absence of depressive conditions. Some of us are skilled at putting our smile on like we put on clothing. Not every smiling face is content and at peace, sometimes if appropriate it is good to gently go a little deeper [with a person’s permission of course].

If you don’t know, say you don’t know. Some will appreciate that because it opens the door for them to share their story, open their hearts and help you with “knowing” more deeply.

Never ever never, under any circumstances be trite or offer empty platitudes or clichés. Mental illness for some people, at given points in the struggle, is a matter of life and death.

via Suicide, Church Folk and Spiritual Leaders | The Journey….

Uncategorized

Previous Post

December 5, 2013

Colbert: Pope Francis is a secret super hero

Next Post

December 8, 2013 ▶ Interview with Tom Corcoran, author of Rebuilt

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Art Bible Books CCC Prayer Christmas Current Events Family Film Free Photo Fridays Humor hunger liturgical calendar liturgy Music Photos pope Prayer Prayerful Leader questions Quotes Review Saints Satire Scripture SYNOD SYNOD FOR THE FAMILY teaching Uncategorized video Weekly Round Up

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 April 2026 February 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 February 2025 January 2025 September 2024 June 2024 May 2024 February 2024 December 2023 August 2023 May 2023 February 2023 November 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 March 2022 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 September 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 August 2019 June 2019 May 2019 March 2019 January 2019 December 2018 August 2018 June 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 December 2017 November 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 December 2016 November 2016 February 2016 January 2016 November 2015 October 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 October 2008 August 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who visited Job and tried to explain his suffering?

Select your answer to see how you score.

His servants His brothers Three friends His sons