10 tips for teaching others how to pray

Last updated on: July 5, 2013 at 4:02 pm by Billy Kangas

10 tips for teaching others how to pray 2013-07-05T16:02:00-04:00 Billy Kangas

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I remember when I was first getting into ministry a mentor of mine told me that the chief responsibility of any minister was first and foremost to teach people how to pray. At the time I thought that was odd. I had always assumed that ministry was more about preaching sermons, organizing worship, meeting with people in need, and studding the Bible.

However, as time has gone on I have realized more and more that there was a lot of truth in that statement. As people learn to pray they are able to encounter God in profoundly personal ways. One who prays does not only know God through the words of the preacher, or the lessons of the teacher, they know God through their own encounters with Him.

Prayer is a central part of the Christian life and helping people to learn how to pray a ministry that all baptized people are called to participate in. In teaching people how to pray we are joining in the ministry of Christ, who taught his disciples to pray bu giving them the “Our Father.”

But how DOES one teach others to pray?

There is no single method that works. No two people are alike. My two year old prays quite a bit differently then the High School students I used to teach about prayer, and I pray differently then both. People pray differently at different points in their lives and at different stages of development. Not only that but there are hundreds of methods, and none of them work well with everyone. I know in my own life my prayer methods have changed many many times.

How then are we to teach others to pray?

I don’t have the final answer on this one, but I have picked up a few tricks here and there. Here are 10 tips that I have picked up over the years.

Pray!
One of the most important things to do when teaching others to pray is to pray yourself. If you aren’t doing it, it will be hard to make others believe that they should too. Having a regular prayer life can help keep the conversation honest and open. Prayer also allows you to invite God into the process.
Pray together
The best lessons I have ever learned in prayer were not learned in classrooms, but in the lived experience of praying regularly with me mentors. If you have a regular prayer time, adoration slot, liturgy of the hours practice, or rosary group (as well as any other prayer group or time you might be a part of) invite people to join you. When you are with the person you are helping teach to pray, pray regularly. Pray, pray and then pray some more. After all 1 Thessalonians 5:17 instructs us to pray constantly.
Pray as you can, not as you can’t
I think about this idea nearly every day. There have been times in my life I have wanted to be a spiritual athlete. I have wanted to pray all the offices in the liturgy of the hours, while attending daily mass, while praying the rosary every day, while reading through the Bible in a year, while trying to practice lectio divina, while developing a centering prayer habit…. it doesn’t work. As a Husband, father, student, teacher, and wage earner I simply am unable to handle keeping “up” with all the forms of prayer I would like to. Encourage students to set realistic goals in their prayer life and help them connect to the forms of prayer that have particular resonance with the student.
Have a big tool box
I love to pray the Liturgy of the Hours, but after teaching it to scores of people, I have found that Many have not found it to be as life giving as I have. It is important not just to be able to introduce people to the the kind of prayer that you personally find effective, but to help them navigate to other forms of prayer that might be meaningful for them in other ways. Many times people ask for help with their prayer when what they know no longer seems to work. Giving people new prayer tools can rejuvenate a prayer life that has stalled out.
Keep it interestingWhere you are teaching an individual or a group about prayer, try to keep it interesting. Prayer is something that is living and active. Tell stories about prayer and talk about your own personal experiences with it. If there are illustrations or demostrations that might bring home a point use them!
Frame prayer as a blessing, not a duty
For a long time in my life prayer was a duty, not a privilege. I thought God would get mad at me if I didn’t pray and I would beat myself up when I got bored, sleepy, or distracted. If my prayers seemed unanswered I thought that I must have gotten the formula wrong somehow or that I didn’t have enough passion. This changed for me when I was at a conference on centering prayer and one of the speakers told me that each time I got distracted from the prayer to count it as a blessing because it gave me the opportunity to return to God in love, which was a blessed thing.
Let them know that “Dark Nights” and “Dry Spells” are normal, natural, and healthy Sometimes prayer can be exciting, refreshing, and bring new life. At other times, however, prayer can seem dead and lifeless. This is normal. Many of the great saints throughout history have experienced times of dryness and difficulty in their prayer life. The consensus among the fathers of the church is that this is normal and even healthy.Just because God seems distant does not mean that God is distant. Let students know that these times will come, and that they don’t mean something has gone wrong, but that God is working in them in a new way.
Teach them to make prayer a habit
Prayer is a habit hard to form and easy to lose. I have heard it said that prayer is like a wild bird. Forming a prayer habit is like puting the bird in a cage… it takes a long time to do, and if the door is open even for a moment the bird will fly out again. As difficult as maintaining a prayer habit might be, it really is something that should be encouraged. Prayer’s power often is felt over months and years of regular practice rather then in the individual prayer times themselves. The longer I have prayer the more I have learned this to be true.
Help them find others to pray withLike anything that requires a lot of discipline, a prayer habit can be more easily formed with others. Having another person or group to pray with is very helpful. Help students find a group that they can pray with, and find a certain degree of responsibility in. It might be with you, or it might be with others, but helping someone feel like they are responsible to others for their prayer life can be a great boon.
Create a Rule of LifeA rule of life is a contract that a person makes with themselves. In it they lay out a plan for how often they will do the things they hope to do. They may want to pray the rosary every day, attend mass once a week, meet with a spiritual director one a month, and have a retreat once a year. They may want to do lectio divina once a day, attend mass twice a week, and take a pilgrimage once a year. A Rule of Life can be anything. Encourage them to keep it manageable and to stick with it. If they find it to difficult have them go back and change it to something they can do, but encourage them to hold to the standards they set for themselves.

So there you have it… 10 tips. These are certainly not the only tips on teaching people how to pray, but they’re a start. Not every setting will be conducive for all 10 of them. If a few of them don’t work in a particular setting don’t worry to much about it, you can always adapt these to fit your own needs. You may also add or subtract from the list.

Uncategorized

Previous Post

July 2, 2013

Building a prayer tool box

Next Post

July 27, 2013 Marriage is made to kill you

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Art Bible Books CCC Prayer Christmas Current Events Family Film Free Photo Fridays Humor hunger liturgical calendar liturgy Music Photos pope Prayer Prayerful Leader questions Quotes Review Saints Satire Scripture SYNOD SYNOD FOR THE FAMILY teaching Uncategorized video Weekly Round Up

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 April 2026 February 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 February 2025 January 2025 September 2024 June 2024 May 2024 February 2024 December 2023 August 2023 May 2023 February 2023 November 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 March 2022 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 September 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 August 2019 June 2019 May 2019 March 2019 January 2019 December 2018 August 2018 June 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 December 2017 November 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 December 2016 November 2016 February 2016 January 2016 November 2015 October 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 October 2008 August 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What does "Ebenezer" mean in Hebrew?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Gift from God Stone of Help City of Refuge House of the Lord